The fork in the road
I am at an all too familiar spot…
The fork in the road…
Its very familiar to me…Since I have been on this journey for six years…And I HATE it. I knew it would come, as it always does…
Usually around the 3 month mark give or take a day or two…
Been eating well since January…Started exercising in March…
Weighed in yesterday for a two pound loss.
Yes. I said loss.
So my beef?
Its not enough for me…I am very mad…
Yes, I know. A loss is a loss is a loss. I have given that same advice to some of YOU. I know that in the rational part of my brain. And I am grateful.
But on the irrational side is that little voice saying “You might as well pack it in girl…And go eat that pizza…You are NEVER going to reach your goal”…
I just wanted more…
Are there holes in my plan? Of course.
I ate Japanese food last weekend at my neices 16th birthday party. I am exercising regularly, but not as long as I need to or would like. There IS room for improvement. I know this.
However.
What I am CURRENTLY doing is about 75% more than what I was NOT doing back in December…
So to only have a two pound loss in a week, well, its discouraging…
Its the point that makes me want to give up and just be fat.
I know that this week will be critical for me.
If I can manuever this fork and come out on the other side still steadfast in my journey I KNOW I will acheive my goal…
If I allow the fork to devert me, I will be off track, still crying in my cheerios about how fat I am and how I want to lose weight…
You would think after ALL this time I would be an expert at navigating this point of the journey.
I am not.
I dont know if we ever become experts. I think the threat of derailing is ALWAYS with us…
I want this alot this time. I do. I can feel it burning deep inside. The desire to REALLY do this and not just TALKING about doing this again…I have been going through the motions for almost TWO YEARS…Playing at losing weight…
I am finally mentally and physically ready to actually DO it this year…I know this…
But this…This is teh critical moment for me…
I have got to fight through the next week or so…Maybe two…Whatever it takes to keep on track…Shake off the disappointment…Keep my body moving regardless of the scale…So that by Summers end I am BACK where I used to be…
So my plan is to stay on track ALL weekend and STAY OUTSIDE and active all weekend…
I am going to try like hell to fight the urge to give up…Its a very VERY powerful urge…
I know if I make it through, this will be one of my greatest years yet…I can just feel it…
Have a great weekend all!!!!
that is a really BIG fork in the road LOL. I can really relate to the frustration. My last big frustration is when I hit 330. that was ALWAYS a wall that i couldnt get past. every time I have tried to lose weight, I would hit the 330 then rebound and gain it all back then some. that was 33 lbs ago. I thought I would never get past it and could feel my faith slipping… thats when you need to dig in and fight like hell to get past the mental funk, victory is waiting on the other side for you my sister!
looking at your pics, you have done an amazing job. If you quit now, I will hunt you down and stuff soggy oatmeal up your nose! lol
keep at it sis, you’ll get through it!
LOL…Well, I dont really want soggy oatmeal up my nose so I best be fighting the good fight eh???
Hah…Thanks for the ass kicking…
First of all CONGRATS on losing 2 lbs.
You KNOW that’s an accomplishment and something to be proud of.
But I know the feeling too of it being a disappointment at times.
What I’ve done in the past when I feel that way is I look at the calendar and map out where I’ll be if I lose 2 lbs a week over a period of time.
So in 4 wks would you be happy to be down 8 lbs?
16 lbs in 2 months?
24 lbs in 3 months would be terrific right?
Soooo all you need to do is continue to lose 2 lbs a week and you are already doing that.
I say for now just focus on the weekend.
You have a good plan ahead of you to spend active time outside.
Then onto next week and so on
GOOD LUCK
Have a fantastic weekend!
Lori
Hey girl,
That little devil in the back of our mind is always there and waiting to pounce–those negative thoughts seem to always be waiting for a time to hit us. I went through the same thing this week–2 lb loss and damn i’ve i’m not still in the 260’s and like a spoiled brat, I dont want to be anymore and I think I should have what I want now! So, i understand where your coming from this week. Yet, I’ve know you for a while now and read a lot of your blogs–your not a quitter, your a fighter. You may take a little time to quieten down but you dont give up. I expect to see you come back and say just that & you will wont you?
Besides, soggy oatmeal up your nose would be pretty yucky lol.
Thanks Lori. You are absolutely right and I did JUST that…
I mapped out 2 pounds per week which is MORE than a respectable rate, and I will still be where I want to be in June if I continue…
If I continue…See there…That snuck right on it!!!
WHEN I continue…AS I continue…Geesh…
Thanks ladies for reading. I appreciate teh feedback….
You so often describe my emotions so very well its scary, lol!
It is going very slow for me…but I am going down, not upward on the scale…so should be happy right?
I also know I could be doing much more to lose more but compared to the crap I used to do, well I am being a saint…so yes I guess I expect more…way more. Time to reshift my focus…back in line with what it needs to be.
My best to you and thank you =)
Congrats on the 2 pound loss! Yes a loss is a loss, but there is also a difference between losing too much and healthy losing. I have always been told that 2 pounds or less of a loss in a week is healthy. Anything more than 2 pounds in a week is losing it too fast. And the slower you lose, the more likely you are to keep it off. With that said, you are right on track
And yes, I have been disappointed before with a loss that was not what I expected or wished for, but it is the right direction and keeping it in a healthy range is all the better for us. Fast isn’t always best. Keep up the good work and you’ll reach your goal the healthy way 