A gripe, A bitch, A vent…
Whatever name you call it, I think I got it…
I am certain this blog will offend at least one person…And so I do apologize in advance, but, well, you know I gotta say what I gotta say…
So, I have a friend…Well, an aquaintance really…
Met through work, later hang out on Facebook…Have never “Met” her only spoken on the phone.
Funny gal. Delightful gal.
Well, in August of this year…2009…She had the Gastric Bypass…The Lap Band…I have spoken with her about this of course, because as previously stated, I TOO have thought about doing this not once but twice…
Trust me. I know how inticing it is…
And for those of you who have had it, I am sure it was not an easy choice…
But I do have to vent for just a second…
This friend gives periodic weight updates via Facebook…
Well, its no shocker, she is dropping weight rapidly…Although its much more rapid than I thought for the lap band version…
But since August 11th, she has lost 40 pounds…She started right under 300 pounds…
She looks great and is feeling greater…
So whats my gripe?
Well, the other day when she posted her update, she also stated “I feel like I have accomplished something…”
I dont know…For whatever reason this really rubs me the wrong way…
What HAS she “accomplished”?
Surgery?
Now, I am not saying she took the easy way…For I truly have no idea what her exercise or eating regimine is now or was, but she has NEVER mentioned exercise to me…
But still…
I understand feeling good…
I understand being excited to see yourself melting away…
But I am really failing to see how having surgery to reduce your stomach intake is an accomplishment…
Perhaps I am envious…Perhaps I am jealous…Perhaps I just know in my heart what it means to work your ass off for the loss of one measley little pound…So to see someone do it rather effortlessly MIGHT make me a bit irratable…
But at any rate…Several days later and I am still dwelling on this…
Facebook…UGH…Some days I think I should just stay away from it all…LOL…
Have a great weekend all…
I like the part about working your ass off for one measly pound! Been there and doing that! I’ve heard the diet they give you to follow is a killer, so maybe that’s why she thinks she’s accomplishing something. Have a great weekend and feel free to vent anytime. Remember, stress makes you fat!
I agree–surgery is only a temporary fix. I know TWO ladies (both also very wonderful people) who had that surgery, and as soon as they could start eating normally again, they started gaining it back.
Don’t be envious–in the end you can feel superior because you’ve decided to make a lifestyle change, which takes much more character and determination than…dare I say…taking the easy way out with surgery.
THat great for her now, but if she doesn’t learn the right way. She will eventually put it all back on.
I guess thats why I still cant justify the surgery…You STILL have to change your behaviour…You NEED to change your relationship with food…You NEED to exercise…Or it can and WILL come back…And if I am going to do that anyway, I guess I would rather do it MY way than to cut up my body and have sooo many food restrictions…Thanks for listening!!!!
I would be annoyed too if I read that. The people I know who have lap band have nutrition problems with their food and gained weight back so…
I can definitely understand about being upset or whatever on that.
I too have had friends that have gone through that. One friend had to go through 1 1/2 years of therapy and nutrition classes before the would do the surgery. The other admitted–she had to work her butt off on the exercise even with the surgery! For both of them–they have kept the weight off over the years.
It might be ok for them. My deal is….if your gonna have to watch your diet and work out…why not just do it and save the worries about the surgery (and the money) and just do it. But, I guess it does help some people. Its just not an option for me. Sighs–I guess I gotta do things the hard way lol.
I can see why it bugs you. i have a boss at work who did it too. She looks awesome, but I wonder, what did she learn? I found the lessons I have learned by losing the weight the way I did are invaluable. I just don’t like quick fixes, although some people have to have the surgery for health reasons. But as far as accomplishment? I just don’t know.
I can understand having to have it done for health reasons, in that case it wasn’t their choice really. But to have it done just for yourself, to me its not doing it naturally. I am loving lose my weight naturally, I feel like I have really accomplished something and I’m only down 8lbs. Surgery is the lazy mans way out, thats just my opinion.
I can understand having to have it done for health reasons, in that case it wasn’t their choice really. But to have it done just for yourself, to me its not doing it naturally. I am loving lose my weight naturally, I feel like I have really accomplished something and I’m only down 8lbs. Surgery is the lazy mans way out, thats just my opinion.
I get really irked when I have to work so hard for something that seems to come so easily for others. Like watching skinny people eat fatty foods. So unfair, I tell myself. Then I realize, I can’t have it all! I can’t be this naturally smart and beautiful AND skinny. (Hee hee) I’ll settle for working on the weight
Hi Dawnie
I can understand your feelings about her statement of feeling like she’s accomplished something.
You know the feeling of truly accomplishing something (through hard work and determination) not by agreeing to have something done to your body and then presto it’s done.
Okay that is oversimplifying the procedure she had done but really what did she have to accomplish to do that?
My concern for her is that if she thinks that is such an accomplishment then I fear she really has no idea how much work its going to be to keep the weight off.
I like your perspective on the surgery - if you are going to have to do the work anyways then why go about it with the surgery.
I agree totally.
Have a great day!
Lori
oh and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
First of all, Happy Halloween Dawn!
I always enjoy reading your blogs. Fresh, right on the mark and real.
Take care of you! Isn’t venting great for our minds and bodies? OH yeh!
I agree with you. I cannot see the advantage to a surgery like that if you haven’t addressed the problems that got you there in the first place & haven’t set yourself on a path to fixing them. I hope for her sake that she sees the need to change. A friend of my moms had the surgery well over a year ago. She hasn’t lost any weight. Why? She still eats & eats & eats and busted her band. She never thought about how she got so big to begin with.
Hi!
So I can definitely understand the frustation that comes. However depending on the the person, and their situation - some have to work a lot harder. I believe some get it as a quick fix, some get it because they ran out of choices, and some get it because they think it is the answer - not really knowing the life change it creates if you do not follow the plan, and actually change your lifestyle usually causing that weight gain right back.
My mom had the surgery, and lost right around 300lbs. And looks so beautiful, I am am so proud!! But before she had the surgery they made her wait 2 years, to prove she was serious, and she lost 50lbs on her own during those 2 years - which was very hard for a 450lb women, but she wanted it and got it. This was about 5 years ago when she first started wanting it. Maybe the surgery is done now to anyone who walks in and says I want it?? Now, she is at 170, BUT she has SO MUCH SKIN IT IS RIDICULOUS, and since it is not a “life threatening” illness, her insurance won’t cover to get it removed, and we have no money for that. BUT she works out EVERYDAY, trying to tighten up. But really she probably has 30lbs of skin on her, but she never gives up. Never. She is always eating healthy, she doesn’t eat bad food, and in the beginning she was so sick all the time. It is hard to know I weigh 70 pounds more then mom now, when she used to weight 300 more then me, BUT I would never in a million years want anything different for my Mom. She is a new person, and this surgery saved her life. Although she lost 50 on her own, at 400lbs, working out was so hard. Now she kicks my butt the gym.
Soooooo, my point is some people use it as a lifeline, some may use it as an easy way out. My co-workers partner got it, and we went out to dinner at a chinese restaurant and he was eating the the fried saucey stuff. I didn’t know how he could do that, because I am sure my Mom would have thrown up from it. And he was drinking with his meal, my Mom can’t drink water an hour before or after hers. So will he make it? Who knows.
I loved your blog though. I love letting frustrations out. Sorry my reply was so long - but I wanted to give my Mom’s side - to show the people who really need the surgery, and who actually still work to get results!
Have a Happy Halloween!
Thanks all for the replies…I definitely agree that for SOME there is no other choice…If your health is at risk and you have SERIOUS weight to lose, YES, I agree…The surgery is a wonderful tool…My one girlfriend that had it though weighed 220 pounds…Is that serious enough to warrent surgery?? Personally, I dont think so…She is down to 150 now and every time I see her she still doesnt seem happy…And she has had a lot of issues…She IS off all her medication though which is cool…I dont know…Just seems to easy these days to get the surgery…Thanks for all your thoughts!!!
I for one am against the surgery, even for health issues. Drastic changes in the body usually create other health issues. I have two relatives that had the surgery and they are living proof of my concern. I think I only know of one person who I am unaware of other issues and I know a lot of people who have had a weight loss surgery.
My opinion is her sense of “accomplishment” has nothing to do with actual weight loss but everything to do with self esteem. She found a rapid way of getting the attention she may have been lacking. Some people feel that false sense of pride is better than no pride at all.
Again, my opinion but I wonder what she truly feels is the actual accomplishment.
Yeahhhh, 220 just doesn’t seem someone would need it. Do you know if she even tried, like actually tried, to loose before. If not, then yeah, def seems like a scapegoat. I bet if she hadn’t really tried that she is put back by the restrictions. Good discussions on this one!
Vent away!!!! 220 lbs is the weight I started off at. IF she doesn’t change her lifestyle it will come back on.
You do you Dawn!
ya girl…you gotta be thinking about how you are working your ass of to lose weight and thats way more than she can say….you should be soooo proud of the fact that you didnt have to get surgery to lose weight…and guess what…that is the easy way out ok? seriously now…hello! even if i got it i would be the first to admit that i was too damn lazy to work out and all that stuff…but you chose to do it the hard way and you will reap way more benefits to your health for it where as your friend will not…she will continue to do what shes always done having learned nothing about herself and why she got to 300 lbs to begin with….and she will also owe more money haha….so youre a little more rich than she is now….you are totally winning in every aspect except for rapid weight loss…but ohhhh freaking well!!!!!!! youre losing weight and thats what matters…its not about how fast you lose it!