When you try your best, but you don’t succeed…
“When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down on your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you”
~Coldplay
Jo, I read your comments on my blog and you know what? I have not one single answer for us.
I know exactly what you are talking about and who. I have watched soooo many people come and go here on buddyslim.
Some have been here as long as me, and have had very little loss. Some came in like ganbusters, lost their weight, and presumably left the site. Are they still successful? I dont know…But, it wouldnt suprise me if they werent…
Some of our very own buddies ARE doing it. And doing it well.
What do they have that we dont?? I dont know. I dont think its quite that simple…Really…
We have a pretty high return rate here at buddyslim. Not like, all scientific like, but I have seen it. I know you have too. People come, people go, people return…
You know why? Because this is a hard hard battle…
Even when you think you have won it, you havent. Not really. For many of us, it will never truly end…
And no offense, but I am not talking about the folks who have ten, twenty pounds to lose…You have your own battles. I get it. But losing a significant amount of weight is HARD. If you are a morbidly obese person trying to be a thin person, its a truly hard battle…It takes time. Sacrafice. And dedication.
This is not “Hey, I want to look good in my wedding dress…Or I want to wear a bikini”…This is I MUST DO THIS OR I WILL DIE…Period.
I have had it. I have had that success. I have lost it. I have had it again.
Long term success is difficult. They have studies that PROVE this fact…
So what sets us apart from them??
I do not know.
In EVERY aspect of my life I have the drive and determination to succeed. This is not a brag. This is not a boast. This is my own fact. I am one of the most stubborn, hard working, dedicated gals I know. Tell me I cant do it, and I will kill myself proving you wrong.
This character trait of mine has served me so well in all I have done.
Careers. Relationships. Hobbies. Etc.
Why can I not CONSITANTLY channel this into long term PERMANANT weight loss success???
I dont know.
But here are the facts I do know.
I have lost a lot of weight. I know how to do it. And I feel GREAT when its getting done.
If you add in the loss and reloss, I have lost WELL OVER 100 pounds in the last five years. That, dear friends, is not an easy task…Loosing weight two or three times over is more difficult than the first time. Trust me on that.
I know what it takes. I know the tricks. The tools. The ins and the outs. I have the desire. I have the motivation. And yet something remains elusive to me. And I have no idea why. I do not know why I will not let myself succeed.
Yes, I have been around long enough to have learned that CLEARLY, I am my own worst enemy and my biggest sabatoger. But I dont know why…
Soooo…
In the mean time. I am STILL HERE. STILL FIGHTING. STILL WANTING TO SUCCEED.
I dont know what else to do…Honestly.
Today I put my new plan in action, and it was a successful day. I did a full hour at the gym. Logged my food. And I feel good. Tired, but good…
I still hope to acheive my goal of a size nine in 2009. I have 10 1/2 months to get there. And I know I can…
Will I? Dont know…I hope so. I pray about it. I talk about it. I want it. Very much so…
I think I just really wanted to say to ANYONE out there who may be reading this:
If this is your first time around, and you are doing well, then KEEP DOING IT. Dont stop. Dont take a break. Dont let it go, because doing it the second, third, or fourth time SUCKS. Period.
If you, like me, are struggling, know that you are NOT alone. That there may not be ready answers for you, but there are plenty of people out here who relate and can at least see you through the dark times.
And until it all makes sense. Until you find your magic key. Just keep on going through the motions. Please. Dont give up.
If we give up, we die. Period.
And I dont know about you, but I sure do have a heck of a lot of livin left to do…
Take care buddies…
Man, you say it all so right. I too have lost and re lost this weight so many times. I am praying this is the time I go all the way and keep it off. Life happens and old habits die so hard. I want this so badly for all of us. I agree, there is something very different about this battle than all of the other things we do in life (careers, relationships etc). I think one of the reasons is because we HAVE to eat. We cant avoid it, we cant quit cold turkey. And when all the other things in our life have us stressed out, food makes us feel happy, it tastes good and it is included in just about every celebration I can think of. I am with you, we have A LOT Of living left to do and we can’t give up. Thanks for such a great blog. Sometimes when I read your blogs, I think you say it so perfectly, I can’t think of anything else to say. Thanks for being able to say what some of us have so much difficulty putting into words. It helps.
I want to read this blog, but if I STOP to do so right now, it would only mean that I am dragging my feet and not going to the gym….so when I get back, I am going to read this and it will be my treat—the ONE thing I will be looking forward to at the end of my workout. I think I will probably not even wait until I get home, I have a feeling I will read it from the Y!! Oh, I can’t wait to read this blog Dawnie!
Ok…I am back after 60 minutes of cardio AND ab work—feeling good.
Dawnie, I couldn’t have said this better myself. Soul sisters? You betcha! You don’t have to tell me how you feel, I know. Your battle is my battle. And we will see eachother through, is ALL I know. You have a particular size in mind, I have a particular number…my magic number is 130….can it be done? Absolutely! Will it be done? I sure hope so!! So far, a month and a half into it, I’m struggling, but like you said, we are not giving up—stubborn asses that we are. Why is it so hard?? I don’t know…I don’t even hope for an answer, I just want to get it done. I have a feeling that for you and I, this is a lifelong battle…you and I are ALWAYS going to have to count SOMETHING, track something and exercise, BOTTOM LINE. The sooner we accept it, the better off we will be—–OR so I keep telling myself.
Thank you for writing this blog, I know it came from the heart. I know it will help many people, particularly those who like us, have had success in the past and in other areas of our lives and well, keep starting on this one battle, yet again!! It’s like the Gulf War for us—never ending!
I dunno why I said that…somehow it seemed fitting!!
Thank you for walking with me on this crazy rollercoaster of a journey…my hope is that we both reach our goals this year and we can celebrate together!!
Someday Miss Jo, we will celebrate…We may be 80, but we will get it done…LOL…
((((((((((Dawnie))))))))) I did it many times too. So I know you are gonna win at this.
Hi Dawn
I gotta tell you I’ve read this blog of yours quite a few times in the last couple of days and keep coming back to it.
I wanted to comment but I didn’t know what to say yet I feel compelled to say something.
I wish I had the answers but I don’t.
I don’t think it’s a matter of what some of us have that you don’t have.
I really don’t think that’s it at all.
I just don’t know what it is.
I’m not even sure I have it even though you might think I do.
You are right this is a damn hard battle and I think it’s one most of us will battle the rest of our lives.
I know you aren’t going to give up.
That’s what I love about you.
You keep coming back and looking for new ways to make it work or going back to old ways that worked in the past.
You just don’t quit and that’s whats going to make you successful in this journey.
That’s one thing I have no doubt about.
You have this zest for life that radiates.
Thank you for sharing that with us.
Size 9 in 2009
I know you can do it!
Lori
PS Thanks for giving me so much and teaching me so much
Journaling has been a huge part of my success and after 2 yrs I am still at it
you taught me the importance of that and it works!
THANK YOU!