Dawn’s Weight Loss Journey

Beauty.

It is a funny thing.

We are all, in some way, judged by our level of beauty, as seen by someone else.

True. People have different visions of what they personally find appealing. Blue eyes vs. brown. Fat vs. thin. Red head vs. brunette.

But, a pretty person is a pretty person. Period. And I would wager that MOST cultures would recognize that person as such, with a few, small exceptions of course.

I saw a special once where they did a study of facial features, and it was discovered that there was actually a formula for the face as to how attractive you are considered!

For instance, the width of your eyes, nose, mouth, etc. It was fascinating. They did the study in different countries and cultures, and almost everyone labeled the pictures the same, from the most attractive to the least attractive.

Now that is something, eh?

Two separate, but equally compelling things happened to me today to provoke this blog. Two different case studies on what is beauty. I will try to now share my thoughts with you.

I belong to several “On-line” communities. I try hard to be an active member of any one I join. Through these sites I have met NUMEROUS people. Men and women. I have never, knock on wood, had a bad “on line” experience. THANK GOD. And I am proud to say some I have met only through the internet have gone on to become crucial parts of my life.

So, on another site I frequent, I came across a young person. He/She emailed me. We became acquaintances. He/She was not a wholly active member of the site, but was definitely noticed. Can you guess why???

Correct.

Because of this persons look. They posted pics of themselves as their avatar. EVERYONE loved them. I mean, lets be honest, I was pretty honored myself. I was like WOW. One of the pretty people wants to be my friend. They think I have something important to contribute. You know??

So, time passes, an email here or there. A comment on a post. Etc.

Finally, I meet this person face to face.

Perhaps I went into it expecting pretty people sparks and fire works. There were none. This person was certainly pleasant. And yes, easy on the eye, and after a few exchanged pleasantries, I was like, okay. What was the big deal??

I couldn’t find one.

Our paths crossed again, and this time I truly looked. Deep inside this person to see what it is everyone thought was soooo awesome about them. For you must understand EVERYONE I had met who was a mutual acquaintance said OH. YOU WILL LOVE HIM/HER. THEY ARE SOOOO GREAT!

So, I guess I was expecting greatness.

What I got was an ordinary person. Sure. On the outside, a very cute, pretty, petite package. But inside? While interesting to meet, not someone I could sit down with over coffee and just chat the night away. There was something missing. We just didn’t click. And I am not sure why. And I was actually shocked and disappointed.

Give me my money back. This person is NOT as awesome as I was led to believe!

What pisses me off, is that others remain fooled by it. Simply because of the package.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I get it.

No one wants to stare at a 300 pound person, if there is a fit attractive 125 pound person to look at. I get it. I myself, am not above falling for the trap of beauty.

Beauty attracts people. Period. I know this.

But why, I wonder, do we ignore other things from a person, just because they look good? Why do we excuse so many things? Why are we so quick to elevate even the most mundane talents in a pretty person??

WOW. LOOKY THERE!!! THEY BREATHE! HOW BEAUTIFUL IS THAT. (I bet they can tie their shoes too!)

And why do we even try to measure ourselves against?

This person might have looked better than me on the outside. And maybe I am not being fair to this person after just two short meetings, but I can sit here and confidently say I am a much more beautiful person.

Then came the discussion on another site of racy avatars. My beer site. It’s heavily laden with testosterone. Craft beer is just not a huge female hobby. (Although there are several of us on the site) We are sadly outnumbered by the males. And what do some males use as avatars? Pictures of super skinny, fake boob baring, bleach blond bimbos.

Now the discussion was pretty intense with mostly men debating if those images were appropriate. If they were tasteless. If they objectified woman. I stayed out of that…(And you will be happy to note, several men WERE upset about the avatars…)

But I did pop in with this.

I am not offended by those images. Nor do I really care what image ANY adult uses on an ADULT beer site. HOWEVER. I am disappointed…

Because I believe that we, as women, do not need one more little jab to our egos, our self esteem, saying HEY. YOU ONLY MATTER IF YOU LOOK LIKE THIS HOT LADY IN MY AVATAR.

Now. How many of us have in our lives. In our circle of friends and family, these people?? I can tell you, I do not. And that’s no offense to my lovely friends and family. Sure, I have cute. Sexy. Thin friends. Heck, my younger sister is a hottie! But none of them are “Playboy bunny” hot. You know?

Those people, if they do exist, they exist in very small numbers, and the real ones, even smaller. An all natural beauty is rare. At least in my life experiences.

We are raising a generation of women that think they must alter their body to fit the images reflected in those avatars. And THAT makes me sad.

Now. A smart woman knows there is sooooooooooooooo much more to it than that. A smart woman knows that beauty is about Intelligence. Confidence. Attitude. And humor. But it takes YEARS to build that knowledge. And sadly, many women NEVER learn that.

Readers, I have been overweight for most of my life. And it took me most of my life to learn I was much more than the package I was put into.

And that is the reason behind this blog.

How many more young people do we need to lose to surgery. Eating disorders. Mental disorders. All in the name of SOCIETIES standards of beauty??

Isn’t that, in some way, why we are all here???

Sure, we all want to be healthy. Play with our pets. Our kids. But lets be honest. We want to look good too. And not just to ourselves, but to those around us too…

And it just makes me so sad that ALL of us, myself included, have fallen into the trap that is BEAUTY.

And I continue to regret it. Every time I do…

A beautiful package does NOT always make a beautiful person.