A hard pill to swallow…
Okay. For once, this is not a weight related blog…Well, not directly anyway…
So, after four weeks, and numerous interviews, and over four months of applying and searching, I have been offered a job.
In my field of Human Resources.
The last time I was unemployed in 2006 it took seven weeks and over 28 interviews.
So, I will consider this, overall, a success.
So what then is my problem??
The job, and the pay, are a GIANT step backward for me…And friends, I am having a REALLY hard time swallowing that…Especially since this was all my own doing…
Arent those ALWAYS the hardest pills to swallow?? The ones we make ourselves…Yep. Just call me the local neighborhood pharmacist, for I am continually making my own tough pills, swallowing them, and then wondering why I dont feel so well. UGH…
I am 36 years old. When will I learn???
So, before you think me a complete, ungrateful brat, please know, I am not.
The economy sucks right now. Period.
The unemployment rate in Florida is one of the highest in the nation. Period.
This is NOT the best time to be looking for a job.
There are many many people who have LOST their jobs and would kill to be employed right now.
So yes, in that aspect, I am grateful. I truly am, and when the shock wears off a bit, I know I will feel all that. Blessed.
But right now, I am still n shock.
You see, I dont have a college degree. I have mentioned it before. And without a degree, I have worked my way up to a very beneficial career in Human Resources. Me. I went from being a waitress for over ten years, to administering benefits for several large employees. I am very proud of that. Maybe too proud. I dont know.
But, through the years, I was finally making a very comfortable salary. One of the best I had ever made.
And yes. I walked away from it. Willingly.
Naively thinking, once again, that I would have no trouble finding a job, or one in my salary range.
Well, I found one okay. And its actually a pretty good job. But its stuff I was doing five years ago. And at a rate of pay I was at five years ago. UGH.
I am sick to my stomach thinking about it. I can make it. I know this. But its gonna be hard. Its gonna take a lot of scaling back. And possibly a second part time job.
But the fact is, because of the economy, and this state, salaries are running about ten thousand dollars behind what they are for similar jobs in Ohio.
So this was not entirely unexpected, but when I said yes, I accept the job, it finally hit me. This is it.
This is what I will be making. And its about 30% LESS than what I was making. And it makes my belly hurt.
I feel like a brat. I feel like a spoiled child. I feel anger at myself. Frustrated that I keep making stupid choices that I cant think through…UGH…I truly dont know why I am in such a vicious cycle here…
Yes. Life could be much worse.
But why, when life was finally getting better, did I decide I needed new and bigger challenges? Why cant I ever just be content with where I am at in life and enjoy. It never seems to be enough for me. Sometimes, this is a good trait. It forces me to acheive more. Do more. But sometimes, its a bad thing…And I know this.
So, I should be excited to finally be starting a new job. I know it will help me MUCH in the whole getting settled thing. And having a routine will help me in the weight loss arena as well. I know, overall, this is a GOOD THING…
But right now, I am just a bit deflated…
I do know, once I process, in my usual way, I will come up with a plan. As I always do…
But man…Right now, I am soooo tempted to just spit out every pill I made, run back home to my mom, and curl up in her lap and cry…I can do that, right?????
Oh, wait…I guess I forgot…I am an adult now…
Being an adult sucks…I want to be five again…
Oh my gosh! I want to be 5 again too! I cant tell you how many times in these last couple weeks I was wishing to be little again…a DO OVER!
Im sorry for what you are going through…it is a hard pill to swallow and probaly the cure is going to be something else we dont like…TIME.
I admire the big steps you took in starting a new life in a new place…Id be scared to death. Take your time in letting it settle in and I hope the pay issue will adjust quickly when things become more stable. I am getting ready to go back into the “real world” after being self employed over 12 years…scared to death. I do not have anything beyond a HS diploma and it is VERY intimidating. Congrats to you for what you have accomplished…you should be proud
Good luck and I truly hope it is so very worth it and you see it very soon
There are days when I would like to be 5 as well…and run home to Mommy!!! LOL!
I bet you will do really well in this new job…the economy WILL improve, and within 6 mos to a year you will get a healthy raise! Or-you will be able to do some net-working and this job may lead you to a better paying job. I too admire you for taking the leap you have taken.
Good luck to you!
Let a grandma tell you this; It’s the life you’re living that counts, not the living you’re making. We went from a very good living, owned our home…a boat, jet ski, mini van, truck and if we wanted something we bought it. Including a 38 foot motor home. Then disaster struck…home, boat, mini van, all gone…both our jobs, 401K and savings gone. Bankruptcy.. had a sale and sold or donated to charity all we had except our clothes, John’s truck and our motor home. We’ve been living in it for the last FIVE years, on my son’s property here in Oregon. (with two dogs and a crabby cat) We have only grown closer in these five years, learned a lot of lessons about what is important, now he’s got a good job, we are moving into a small house, and believe it or not….we are both a little sad to leave our ‘nest’. We are determined to ‘keep it simple’, we don’t want all the things we thought we had to have to be happy. We really have learned that ‘enough is enough’. Right now we are just amazed that he finally found such a good job in this economy. The last six months of living on 716.00 a month taught us to appreciate whatever we get. You are only 36, just wait… you will find there really is a silver lining. It’s not so bad being an adult. Bless you and all the best in your bright new future!
So sorry hun… I’m sure it’ll all get better eventually.
Dawnie, I was wondering what happened to the job you interviewed for prior to moving there. I’m glad you found a job in this economy - I so agree.
You are a fighter girl! You’ll get through this. You have so much going for you. Take each day and make the best of it.
BIG HUG and yes - I want to be 5 too!
Being an adult is no fun.
Well, congrats on the job, and in all honesty, I want to be 5 again too. ut we are adults, and we make our own way, I know you will make it, you have proven that in other things.
What a major bummer on the pay that comes with the new job. While realizing and being greatful for the job, it just doesn’t make the pill any easier to swallow, does it? I recently made the decision to ask my ex to move out (been together over 6 years). I had to finally choose my sanity over the money he contributed to the household. It has been very difficult but I am so much happier and hopeful. It will be tough but you will prevail—u seem like a spunky lady—and I have a feeling you will come out on top…