Dawn’s Weight Loss Journey

Happy Sunday all!

Wow… I sit here today with a strange feeling in my gut…One I havent felt in a while…

I think its excitement…And determination…

For those new to me, I am a very recent transplant from Central Ohio to Orlando Florida. And to say the least, its been a very emotional transition.

Thanks to those of you who shared your stories with me, and especially to my very special Soul Sister, Miss Jo…She has already travled the road I am now on, in more than just one way. And knowing I am not alone has been a GOD SEND. Truly. I have been very very depressed since my move. I miss my dogs. I miss my friends. I miss my family.

I have no one here but my boyfriend Brian. He is great, but when he goes to work, man, do I feel lonely. Like a friendless teenager…

I had to keep reminding myself yesterday that this is NOT new, but its been 15 years since I have felt this.

This lack of friends…

When I first moved to Central Ohio, I had no one but my then husband…And it was only through my jobs, that I made the circle of wonderful friends I now have. So I had to keep reminding myself yesterday that PATIENCE is my friend. That once I get a job, and start getting out, the friendships will find their way to me. I had to keep reminding myself that I have only been here 6 days…Even God needed 7 to do what he does! HAH…

So, I am learning. Learning to be patient. Learning to let go. Learning to breath…

Tomorrow starts my grand RELAUNCH. Thats right. I am officially relaunching myself back into this game.

I have been out of it for about a month due to moving and various other excuses.

No more.

I took a walk last night around my neighborhood. Feeling good. Feeling ready to at least control one aspect of my life right now…

My goal is simple. I would like to lose 40 pounds by June 09. More would be great, less would be unacceptable.

This is a realistic goal for me. Would put me back to where I was a year and a half ago, plus a bit lower. Its not my utlimate goal, just my first goal.

To acheive this, I am going to go back to keeping my food journal daily. Exercise for an hour daily. And, just as soon as I can financially arrange it, I am rejoinging Weight Watchers.

Two reasons. First, it has worked for me in the past. And Second, it will also help me make new friends with like minded interests.

It feels good to have a goal. To have a mission. I am excited to get this relaunch, LAUNCHED…

Take care all!!!

Sometimes nothin…Keeps me together at the seams…”

Home sweet home. Motley Crue.Exactly how I am feeling…The song just keeps running through my brain…

Whew…

Well, friends, I arrived in Orlando, from Ohio mid day on Monday. After a 19 hour drive. WOW. So very exhausted that we went to sleep at six p.m.!!! WOW…

So, I am on day five technically, of my new home…And boy, has it been exciting, sad, busy, exhausting, etc…

First, I arrived with only a few clothes. The rest of my stuff is arriving by a moving Pod on Monday. So I am kind of lost without my stuff…

Second, my apartment is incredibly cute, however, it is soooo different from the condo that I lived in for ten years. I am experiencing some SERIOUS home sickness.

Doubts, second thoughts…The whole WHAT HAVE I DONE scenerio…

I am told that this is fairly common when a change of this nature takes place. And that it will pass in time as I get acclamated to my new surroundings…God, I hope so.

For one minute I feel great, excited and happy, and the next minute I burst into tears…

Yesterday it was when I saw a dog!!

A DOG people. I saw one in the parking lot and immediately burst into tears…I couldnt help it. I went from 36 years old to 8 years old in a heartbeat. I just miss my doggies I had to leave behind…And seeing a dog makes me feel sad and lonely…

Brian has been wonderful. Sweet. Looking at me quite helpless like trying to figure out what to do with me…I told him to just let me be…Its kinda a girl thing, I think…Maybe its just a Dawn thing…

All I know is that my senses are on overload…My brain on overdrive…

But I am trying to deal with it minute by minute.

Today I got out by myself and drove. I got to point A just fine…But got lost coming home!! I panicked for a second, then took a deep breath and just drove in the direction I knew was right…I found my way back home, and discovered a new shopping area in the process…I guess this is how I will learn…

Its just been soooo long since I have had to learn a new city…I took that for granted for sure!

I have had two job interviews. Both went okay. One went better than okay. I have two more in teh works. All four in my field of Human Resources…So hopefully I can secure a job within the next few weeks. This will help me I know…

So, to end on some positive notes…The weather here is GORGEOUS and I have been running running running for four days…Even Thanksgiving was no big deal. Ate a normal sized meal, and did not feel stuffed or miserable.

I have a 24 hour fitness center.

I live RIGHT across the street from Sea World, so I can walk around there.

I have a nice neighborhood to walk in. And I have gone grocery shopping.

So starting Monday, I am BACK IN THE GAME. Back to food logging and exercising.

I am actually VERY VERY excited about this. I miss my routine…Ready to drop 40 pounds in the next six months. I KNOW I CAN DO THIS…

Thanks to all of you for your patience!!!!

There is a link floating around here, I have seen it…

A website where you can find local 5 and 10k WALKS and runs…

I cant remember what it is. I want to sign up for a few in December and January for the Orlando area…And I cant remember what its called…

I looked on google and cant find it…UGH…

HELPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello everyone!

I have been MIA for over a week. I apologize to you and to my Pink Ladies. I kind of pulled myself off for a two week period…But it still sucks.

I am packed and ready to go!!

This time next week, I will be writting you from sunny Florida, and NOT snowy Ohio. Thats right. I woke up to a dusting of snow this morning. UGH.

So here is the gist. I just couldnt keep up with everything while managing this move. So I willingly pulled myself off my diet, exercise, and blogging for a period of two weeks. Just until I got moved and settled. I didnt feel great about this, but, I was losing my ever loving OCD mind stressing about it all…

So, while life has been a bit calmer, overall, I do NOT feel good. I do not feel healthy OR happy. I have not been overeating per say. Just dont like the loss of control I feel now. And it has motivated me more than ever to get going. To get moved, settled and back on track IMMEDIATELY.

See. Thats the weird thing about this journey. When I am working out, and NOT losing weight, I feel ten times better about myself. Even though I am the same weight…I hate not doing anything. It makes me feel like I am saying WTH…Come on fat. Please. Come lay yourself right on my belly and my thighs. We’ve got the room!! Ugh…

So…I just wanted to check in real quickly to say I will most definitely be back FULL FORCE next week. I have a plan and I am ready to activate it.

I will have a new home. A new climate. A new support system. New goals and motivation. And god willing…A NEW JOB. (I have two interviews lined up…)

So, while I do not feel great about myself, I always try to stay upbeat and positive…YOU HAVE TO…I can not let depression settle in or I will give…

I was looking at old pics of myself this weekend. And although I am not where I was, down to 179, I am also not back where I started, 250 ish…So this is something…I am going to attempt for the first time ever to post pictures in my blog…LOL…

So you too can see that even though I may not be down to where I want to be, I am further than I was 6 years ago. And that, my friends, is something…

Above: Me and my ex husband Steve, August, 2002, I am close to 250 pounds here.

Below: Me and my now boyfriend Brian, in September of 2008. I am probably 205 here…

So yes…I am not the 179 I once was…But I will be…Soon…I will be back there..

Take care all!!!

Well…It is with a very heavy heart I write tonight…But write I shall…For writting is my outlet…And my outlet leads to healing…

Tonight I learned that a local news anchor here in Ohio has passed away…Losing her ten year battle with breast cancer…She greeted me every morning with a perky smile…I have watched her for FOUR years. DAILY. She greeted me with a genuine sense of joy. Happiness. And she NEVER hid her illness, or played the victim. In fact, she made others feel comfortable…For more on her story, you can visit here: http://www.10tv.com/live/content/station/stories/2008/11/07/heather_pick.html?sid=102

Friends. She was 38 years old…THIRTY EIGHT…She leaves behind a husband, two children, and sooooooooooo many friends and family members who loved her…

And so as I watched the news coverage…I cried…

I cried for her. I cried for her husband who must now find a way to raise two very young kids without a copilot. I cried for those children whose entire life changed today in a heart beat. They will forever be defined by losing their mother at such a young age.

And through these tears, I saw a quote flash on the screen. From Heather herself…”DONT WAIT”

You see, we all SAY we want to live each day to its fullest, but rarely do we. We all say we are grateful for all we have, but then we bitch and complain that we want this or we want that. We all SAY that we want to make a difference, but then we get caught up in life, and forget that…

We get stuck.

So what DO you do when mortality slaps you in your face??

Well, most of us would do one of two things…We would curl up in a ball, feel sorry for ourselves, and sit back and let the sickness come…OR, we would go out IMMEDIATELY and start living each day as if it were the gift it truly is.

Why is it that we go through life thinking we are invincible? That we are going to live forever?

Why do we say “I will do it tomorrow?” when in fact, there is NO GAURENTEE of a tomorrow??

Friends, every day, we are living on borrowed time…And at any given moment, we can be called up…And thats it. Its done.

So my thoughts tonight are this: WHY ARE WE WAITING??

For love? For life? For health and wellness? Why wait? Why not DO?

I have tried, since the death of my father in 03 to embrace this philosophy…For that too was a lesson in mortality and the shortness of life…I do well…I do things now I never would have. Take more risks…Live a little less “Safely”…Because I know life is ever so short…And I never want to look back in regret…

I dont want to ever wonder “What if” or “If only”

But I need to do more…Fight harder…

I got a bit sidetracked this year…And I am fighting with everything I have in me to get back to my journey…It is much easier to give up, and walk away…Much harder to stand and fight…

But fighting I am…Finding my way back to my original journey. My journey to better health…Both physical and mental…To get back to volunteering…To get back to a happy and full life…

To embrace the life I have been given. To be thankful for every breath I take. Every person I have loved. Every friend I have made. Every life I have touched.

Death is certain friends. For all of us…

So I leave you with this: What are YOU waiting for?? If there is something you want to be doing, you best get about doing it now. DONT WAIT!!!! Because in a heartbeat, it could be gone…All of it…And what legacy will you have left behind?? One of half fullfilled dreams and promises?? Or will you leave behind a legacy of love, success, and a life well lived?

You cant control the end date of your life…But you can control the content… 

I am very sleepy today…

Stayed up late watching this “Historic” election…

Here is what I am going to say about it all…

I am hopeful that now my country can come together. Heal. And fix itself.

I am at peace with the choice made by my fellow Americans. I dont think any one is stupid for making their choice. That is what is so awesome about this country…We have the RIGHTS and the POWER to do these things.

We are so freakin blessed, even in these hard economic times, and many of us dont even realize how blessed we are.

Whether you voted based on race, religion, or because thats what your family has always done, at least you voted. (I HOPE!!!)

Of course, I HOPE you voted based on overall issues that matter to your family and your country. Not because someone was black, or a female. But to each his own.

Regardless of what side you chose, I cant imagine you are not incredibly proud to have lived through an election that was going to bring historic change no matter who won.

I wont say who I voted for, because it doesnt matter. Today we have a new President Elect, and, well, it is done.

But I am incredibly proud that I was alive to see this. And I hope now people will quit slinging mud. And quit being mean and stupid. And just come together, and support this new leader. Give him a chance to prove you right or wrong. He is facing an uphill battle of epic proportions.

I will also publically state that I have the utmost respect for John McCain. ANYONE who spent 5 years in a POW camp earns that from me. Period.

He TRULY is an American Hero and has MORE than proved his love for this country. His speech was gracious, and respectful. And our country needs that…

So for all of you who are sad today…Please…Get it out…And then rise above it…

For all of you who are happy today…Please…Have compassion for your fellow Americans…Realize they are disappointed. Give them a little time, and do not gloat. It gets us no where…

So today, I am, as I have ALWAYS been, proud to be an American. Proud of my country. And so incredibly grateful that I was born into this country with all the world at my finger tips if I choose it…

Make no bones about it people. Our country is wounded. But she is NOT dead. Together, we can help her rise to greatness again. We can not allow Egos and Pride to hold us back from growth and healing…

May you all look around you today and find one thing to be thankful for…And I hope you find many…