UGH…Buddies…I need help!!!
Okay…So…I guess I just dont handle stress and chaos well…
I mean, I am strong person, and always end up back on my feet, but in midst of change, I completely and UTTERLY freak out…Most of this is due to my OCD. My mind is a constant mess….
So, I am really in the middle of a break down here and I need some help, advice, whatever…
Approximately two weeks ago it started…
Prior to that, I was good. I was staying on track. I was on target. Motivated. Resolved. Etc.
Then, all of a sudden, several major life events happen, and its like everything I know to be true just falls out of my head. I lose ALL SIGHT of what my goal is. I have no outlet for my OCD or my stress.
My first reaction is to eat. ALWAYS. Even working out makes me want to eat. And I am sooo frustrated…
Briefly, as to not bore the reader, here is what is going on:
Long distance job search: I have had a very good hit from a nationally recognized company. On paper, I have EVERY skill they are asking for. And I have ten years of experience doing it. I had TWO hour long phone interviews with two separate groups. They flew me down and I had TWO face to face inteviews with two groups for a total of FIVE PEOPLE. I provided FIVE professional references, two of whom I KNOW they called. I also offered THREE supporting docs in the form of TWO letters of recommendation from previous bosses, and an award I won at my last job for outstanding achievment. NOW. This week I get a call saying they want me to come back and meet with ONE MORE PERSON…UGH…Really?? What more could they POSSIBLY need to know about me.
I will do it, because I need a job before I move, but buddies, the whole process is STRESSIN ME OUT. I had to go sink 75 dollars on a suit, because “Off line” I was told this is a pretty important person. I am also soooo not a suit gal…I have been wantin ONE for a while, for this purpose, but wanted to wait till I had lost more weight so its not a waste of money…
So..
On top of that, I am, in no particular order, dealing with this:
Meeting the boyfriends kids for the first time next weekend. This is a big deal to me. We have been dating for six months. I have NEVER dated a guy with kids, nor do I have them. Little people scare me… 
Meeting a new large group of beer guys next weekend for the first time. (I think this is my self image issues here)
Looking for apartments and/or houses in the area I wish to relocate too.
Worrying about finances like crazy with a move upon me, airline tickets, clothes, housing assesories, etc.
Trying to find the cheapest safest way to transport my belongings from Ohio to Florida
Trying to figure out WHEN this will all go down (Soooo many unknowns!!!) Most of my major decisions are waiting for other things to fall into place…And, well, patience is not a virtue of mine…UGH…
Fighting with my insurance company and my hospital over a three hundred dollar bill that I have been fighting about since MAY…UGH.
Dealing with my CURRENT job as we upgrade to a new computer system and yearly open enrollment for benefits.
And finally, trying very hard, to remember why it is I am here, and why it is so important in the midst of all this, to eat healthy, and exercise daily…
But so far, I am failing miserably.
I am NOT a smoker, yet, out of desperation, I bought a pack this week. HOPING that having a cigarrette in my mouth would prevent me from putting FOOD in my mouth…
Is there any of you out there that can offer me any kind of advice to help me shut my brain down. Relax. And just learn to let go of those things I can not control??
I do know, in the end, I will end up where I need to be, and I will be okay. My history has proven this to me. But here, now, in the midst of all of it, I cant see the light at the end of the tunnel…
Than you all…
You’ve got a lot on you…I dont do well with multiple things coming at me. I get very overwhelmed. One thing that does help me is to get outside, a drive or better yet a long walk thru a place that brings you peace. For me, it is in the trees, the woods. This time of year especially because the air is cool, the woods are quiet except sounds of nature, the sun pouring thru the treetops. I feel very at peace and for me very connected with God.
Not that you can do this, but one of the most peaceful places for me was driving thru the Smokey Mountains…maybe your place is the beach or a lake.
Hoping you find that peaceful place and wishing you good luck on this final interview!!
I like Debbi’s advice…also, I block out the world by coming into my computer room…shutting the door..cranking up my music and playing a game…anything that will keep my mind busy but not with the problems im dealing with…a nice long hot bath with a book or music…hang in there girl..you will make it through all of this..Sorry I wasnt more help. Debbie
Wow, you ARE on stress overload!!! You need some distractions as said above, like music, reading a good book, breathing techniques, and walking help me.
I have OCD too and eating is my answer to everything. It’s so hard to be in stressmode and not eat! I know! But you need to do something else besides eat. We are conditioned to eating to soothe our pain and relax us. Try a bubble bath, or get a journal and start writing about your stress and see if it helps. Talking to us about it is a great way too. I always feel better opening up.
Hey Dawn,
You have a lot going on there. Wow. Very first suggestion, relax and relax some more the throw out the cigarettes. Clear your head then address one issue at a time. If you think about everything in one lump some it’s very overwhelming - which I don’t blame you because I would do the exact same thing. I stress a lot and have a mild case of OCD too. But Rodney is always there to help calm me down through stressful situations; and I’m learning how to deal with it better then ever.
Maybe you can write down everything in a timeline so you know what to do first and last.
I don’t have children of my own and Rodney is the first relationship I’m in that involves children; although only one is here in California and Rod’s mom adopted him. Just be yourself, like how you are here and I’m sure the kids will take to you very well. Same goes for the friends you are meeting - be you and you’ll charm them off their feet.
The job, I think you are a shoo in for it. So get a cute suit, go there and you’ll win hands down.
Good luck!!!!
Wow! Sorry you’re so overwhelmed right now!
I’m not sure where your faith lies - so the advice I give you comes from my perspective. Hope it helps…
Last spring, I felt like we should relocate our family to plant a church. My husband thought I was insane and left it at that. I gave him a couple of months without talking about it and then asked him to send his resume to a couple of places where we wanted to move. All the while, I was constantly praying that God would just put me where HE needed me. I am His tool. This life isn’t about ME and where I want to be…it’s about doing HIS work. It was really difficult to leave it all in God’s hands. I wanted to control it all, but I knew that would get me nowhere. My husband sent his resume to one company. They called him and after 2 short phone interviews, they offered us $3000 to move within the following 2 weeks. WOW! That was a major eye opener for me. If I leave it all in God’s hands and live my life for His purpose, He will provide me with what I need.
*sigh* I don’t know if that helps at all. Sorry if it doesn’t. It’s all I know to say
Good Luck!!!
Honey put down the cigs pick up a ton of packs of gum or sugar free hard candy. Do you deep breath? That is so helpful. You have so much stress right now not to mention a ton of life changes meeting your b/f kids wow that is so much stress right there and the job. Try to tunnel that stress through sweating. Get onto the treadmill or whatever. If you have the money get a tan in or better yet a massage to boost your circulation and feel good endorphines.
Believe me I am a perfectionist and when my routine is messed up I eat. The gum thing and brushing my teeth before I eat has helped.
Ohh my goodness does it sound like you have alot on your plate!!!! I can’t blame you for stressing out, I’m in a simaliar boat with you, I’ll be moving in the next couple of months from NY to SC. And I’m TOTALLY stressed out, espcially about the job part so I can relate to you on that. If you want some one to talk to, send me a message. At least if your typing you won’t pick up a cig! haha
Holy $#!%! Dawnie, breathe!! You are going to give yourself a coronary! Let’s see—for starters, you sound just like me about 3 months ago and I dunno about you, but I seem to always pile more crap on my already overloaded plate of life!
I’m no guru, but let’s take one thing at a time here—
The fact that the head honcho (at least this person sounds like the head honcho) wants to meet with you is a GOOD SIGN!! I know from working in a place where we would receive thousands of applications for only a handful of positions, that meeting with the big guy is just a formality—meaning that you probably already have the job in the bag!
As far as meeting the boyfriend’s kids goes…just be yourself. You have expressed to me that you feel blessed to have the opportunity to be part of these children’s lives and that will radiate—the worse that can happen is that they don’t like you, and that is understandable, with time and effort, you will win them over. You are a good woman and the children will see the love you and their dad have for eachother–trust me when I tell you that is something children notice and something that wins them over—this is a tough one, you know that, but brace yourself and be prepared to get to know them, take interest in what they are interested in and you will see how if they don’t like you right off the bat, they will grow to love you!! Have a little faith my friend!
About meeting the beer guys—here’s a little psych trick I play on myself—-go all out, pull all the stops to make yourself feel sexy—the day before and the day of, exercise hard, eat healthy, do all kinds of girlie things, do your hair nicely, wear a nice perfume, do your make-up….everything that makes you feel feminine and sexy—in other words, fake it ’till you make it and trust me, by the time you meet the guys, you will feel confident. If this works for me (and trust me, I am no girlie-girl), it will work for you!!
Anyway….there’s a lot more on your blog, but I will leave it at this for now…..just ONE thing right now—throw away that pack of cigarrettes—trust me, if you’re not a smoker, the nicotine will only make matters worse. The first cigarrette will help you feel relaxed and in Heaven, like you can handle it all, but TRUST ME, I know from personal experience, you will feel literally SICK after one or two cigarrettes!! So throw that pack away—NOOOOOOOOOOWW!!
Thank you very very much…ALL of you…Some wonderful words here. Much for me to think over. I am trying DESPERATELY to channel this into a productive workout…A stress releiver…I am going to just keep trying…Talking to myself. Talking to others. And I repeat constantly “This too shall pass”.
I am not a religious person persay, however, I do beleive people end up where they are supposed to be and with who they are supposed to be…So I have that attitdue about this job. If its meant to be it will be…
But in the mean time…MAN…It is stressin me big time…
Thanks a gain everyone for answering my call for help!!!
I feel you, with all that has been going on with me, I have been tempted to throw in the towel, but we owe to ourselves to hang on. I can’t tell you to throw out the cigs, I have not been able to do that.
But you have gotten some great advice. We need to remember to slow down, breathe and relax. Do you know about 6, 7, 8 breathing? My therapist taught me, it helps. You breathe in for a count of 6, hold it for 7, and let out for 8. do it 10 times. I am gonna reastart this, too. Will be praying for you.
Girl I can totally relate with the OCD. When too many things come at me at once, I freak. I eat, I lose sleep, you name it, I do it.
I AM a smoker and I’m saying, put down the ciggs and pick up an ipod or a book. Go work all this stress off with sweat. Go any place that is relaxing and do just that, RELAX. The breathing excercises are awesome, I do them myself. I have self meditation mp3s on my ipod that I listen to before bed some nights to just “let it all go”.
I agree, it sounds like you’ve got the job in the bag! Good luck on meeting the kids, I’m sure they will love you! & by all means, go all out for meeting the guys!!! Hope you find your serenity this week my friend