Dawn’s Weight Loss Journey

Thats right. I am coming out of the closet…

BUT FIRST…

My last rant about the freakin negative blogs-

ENOUGH ALREADY. GOOD FREAKIN GREIF!!! Get over it and move on and quit bringing the whole damn site into this silly drama.

Handle it like adults amongst yourselves. If you cant, then talk to Dr. Marc. Really. I am amazed when I click on the age of some of these people involved in this drama.

Good golly!!! Do you not have more REAL life stuff to worry about than that?

So frustrating…

Okay. Rant done..

Now. Back to my closet…

Thank you to Miss Jo. I am now going to credit her for my closet departure.

In writting to Jo this morning I disclosed something I havent disclosed in a long long time…

My actual weight!! WOO HOO!!

It was odd seeing it in writing…

I removed my weight ticker some time ago. Out of embarrassment. Disappointment. And anger. At myself…

Even though I have always been a fan of complete and utter honesty with yourself and others…(Hello kettle…I am the pot!) LOL…

So. I am going to add it back after my next official weigh in in October at the doctors.

But, I will now share publically what I shared with her privately…

I have sadly, regained a lot of weight…

28 pounds to be precise.

YEP. 28. Read it and weep. I sure did.

Starting weight: 242 (January of 2004 I might add)

Lowest weight: 180 (February 2007)

(I hit 179 for a moment, then I blinked and gained a pound!)

Now…I hung out at 190-195 for most of last year. Divorce. Health issues. Blah blah blah. You know it all. I got comfortable again. Plain and simple.

And then, in March when I threw my back out, it got worse. I also started taking a new birth control pill that has a documented side affect of serious weight gain…

From March to August I gained over ten pounds!! EGADS!!!

Holy fat girl batman!!!!

So.

The day I went into surgery, I weighed 211.

Thats when I hit my OMG wall…

Now. I had, at one point in my journey, gone back up to 218 back in 2006. So I was still smaller than that. But WOW. To reach ONDERLAND and then return to the 200’s. I was in complete and utter shock the day of my surgery. Its probably a good thing they soon put me under. I might have gone a bit postal otherwise!!!

But when I came out, I was more determined than ever to not see 211 again.

I am now at 208 and GOD WILLING, on my way back down.

My first goal is to be at 200 on October 6th. This is a reasonable and do-able goal if I push myself.

My second goal is to be at 185 by January 1st. This too is more than reasonable.

I am doing things differently than before. I have thrown out my structure.

Thats right. This OCD gal who loooooooooooooooooooves structure, and is a big fan of Weight Watchers and counting calories, is kinda treading new waters.

WHY? Just to see what I have learned…And to see if change is good.

So. For the moment. I have put my food journal on hold. Those of you who know me know that I am a HUGE HUGE HUGE fan of food journals. So this is a biggie.

I have stopped counting completely. Calories and points.

So what AM I doing?

I am truly and utterly trying to be FOOD AWARE. That means I am listening to my brain and my body.

I make conscientious and healthy food decisions. Lots of fruits and veggies. Lots of low fat low cal snacks. I am eating FREQUENTLY and all day long!!

I am reading label after label.

I am eating ONLY when hungry, and I am eating just enough to fill me up.

I am working out 4-5 times per week and aiming for 6. I am doing walking, elliptical, and weights. For a total of an hour per day.

This is completely new to me.

I want to test myself and see if I can do this.

If I get on the scale in October and have lost nothing, then I have decided to go back to Weight Watchers. They started my journey, and hopefully, they will help me finish.

So there you go.

Its all out now. No more secrets. No more lies.

I am outta the closet now.

And I am so grateful for the love and support of all my buddies on this WEIGHT LOSS board!!!

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good morning slimmers…ITS THURSDAY…WOOT!!!

So, I must be completely out of the loop here…(This is not surprising…I tend to exist in my own little brain most days!)

What is all this drama going down on buddyslim?? Since when did buddyslim become a battle ground about morals and ethics and religion?? To each his own, right?

WOW…My head is spinning from the blog reading I did this morning.

I have been a member of this site for over two years…

Seen people come and go. Myself included. But talk of apologies. Fights. Etc… Calling people out on your blog?? WTF???

Well,  its very counter productive to what we are all here for. Support and weight loss. Right?

I have always held to this one simple principle at buddyslim.

My blog, although posted public, is a container for MY THOUGHTS. MY FEELINGS. It is a way for me to vent, heal, move on. It helps me. And by posting, if it helps at least one other person, than it was worth it. But first and foremost, my blog is written for me…And me only…

If you dont like it, dont read it.

It has always irritated me when people apologize for a blog they have written…Why would you apologize?? Has our society become so freakin sensitive to the words of strangers?

They are your thoughts and you are allowed to have them…Dont EVER apologize for that…

Sure, you should remain open to feedback and growth and self improvement, but oh my!!

I have all kind of buddies here. At one time I had a lot more. I closed my account a year and a half ago for personal reasons, and whipped them all out. SLowly have been rebuilding. Have met some AMAZING folks on here.

I could care a less if you are a catholic, a buddist, or an atheist. It has nothing at all to do with me and my weight loss journey.

I dont care if you are married, divorced, or in some underground sex ring. It has nothing at all to do with my life and my journey.

I dont care if you work, stay home, have ten kids or none.

I dont care if you do weight watchers, atkins, or Jenny Craig.

If I can not relate to you or your blog, I simply go to the next one…

I am here to lose weight. To have a safe place to contain my thoughts and feelings about that. And find the support of a handfull of good people on here. My definition of good is not going to be yours. AND THATS OKAY.

I dont need every single buddylimmer on here to be my buddy. There are plenty of peeps here to go around. Certainly you can find ONE person to relate too…

This is a weight loss site. First and foremost. Right?

So maybe if we spent less time fighting, making up, etc and more time eating right, getting off the computer and out of the house and EXERCISING we would all be a bit thinner, eh??

People…Life is too freakin short to get caught up in a bunch of high school drama on a weight loss board.

Its September 11th. Remember that. And go out and start LIVING the life you want to live…Be who you want to be…Because in an INSTANT it could all be taken away from you…And how sad that you wasted precious life energy on things that in the end, simply dont matter…

Take care all!

E LIM INATE the negative…

Do you guys remember that song?  It springs into my head from time to time…

“You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between

You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium’s
Liable to walk upon the scene”

Anyway…

I am ACCENTUATING the positive…

 But I FIRST must mention the negative…

Went to the doctors yesterday for my 4 week post op…Good news, I was released to return to work…Bad news…Negative: The scale said I was UP TWO POUNDS from my initial consultation with her two months ago…

My initial reaction was sadness and depression. Couldnt help it. I have been trying, I felt, rather hard…

But then I remembered my weight the day of surgery…Just a month ago…And I was actually down THREE pounds from the morning of my surgery…YOu see, I had gained weight between my first consultation with her and my surgery date…

Actually, reading the scale the day of surgery is what kind of shocked me back into action. It is/was the largest I had been in THREE years…

So, to lose ANYTHING, well…I WILL TAKE IT..

Sooo…Three pounds, in a month, at first glance, is nothing…BIG FREAKIN DEAL…

Then, I decided to pick out the good news…

*I am down three pounds. Period.

*I have been AT LEAST 50% less active just due to recovering from surgery. Normal every day things like getting ready for work, walking back and forth during the day, etc…All those little things that burn calories…Yes, I have walked and worked out, but my daily activities decreased dramatically.

*A vast majority of folks actually GAIN weight during a recovery…I did not…

One of my biggest fears going into this surgery was gaining back 15-20 pounds. THIS DID NOT HAPPEN…

So, with all that…I think I will take the three pound loss!!!

So yes. I am back at work today. And yes. I am not that much different than I was a month ago, but darn it, I am still going to focus on the good…

I go back to the doctor in ONE MONTH and my first little mini goal for myself is 8 pounds. I want to be down 8 pounds next time I step on her scale…

I KNOW I CAN DO THIS…

I MUST DO THIS…

I am still on track with my plan…I am working out 5 days a week…Not as hard as I like because I still must pay mind to my back and my body…But I am doing it. Elliptical, treadmill, and arm weights…

I have added in a 20 minute walk per day too…At lunch if I can, in the evening if I cant…

In addition, I have stocked up again on my fruits and veggies. Returned to basics by packing my lunch bag full of healthy snacks. Reduced eating out. And basically, just started over with the tools and basics I already knew…

I know I must not get discouraged. Discouragement is what ALWAYS derails us…

I must continue just doing what I KNOW is right, and eventually, the scale will catch up with me…

I am excited again for my weight loss for the first time in a long long time…

Dealing with chronic pain was a nightmare and I feel for anyone going through that. I am soooo releived I got releif with my back surgery.

And I am stoked to be back on the path to health and fitness…

Take care all!

HOLY Buddyslim, Batman!!! Some long lost buddies have returned!! WOO HOO!!

 I am stoked to see Nikki and Mary back…Mary, you look HOTT HOTT HOTT…

Did we all return to help each other out again?? Who knows…But the flock is returning…

I go to my first post op appointment tomorrow…Have been out four weeks and I am READY to go back to work…

I have done well on my weight plan. Havent weighed myself. Dont want to yet, but I am doing what I need to do…

I cant quite seem to fall in love with my food journal again yet…So I am kind of thinking of putting it away for a while just while I focus on teh exercise and eating…

Once the doc clears me tomorrow, I plan to return full force to the gym for an hour a day. I have committed to that until years end…I am actually excited…

My other big news is I am planning a rather large move…

I am packing everything I own and moving to Florida by the end of the year…

I am scared to death…And excited too…

I have always wanted to travel and explore…I have been in Ohio all my life except for a small blurb in North Carolina.

I have no husband now. No kids. Nothing really holding me here…My family knows and supports me…And thats good…I think they are all just waiting for a free vacation destination!!!

So over the next three months I am focusing soley on dropping my weight…And my move…Finding an apartment…A job…New friends…HAH…

I am very excited about it all…

Good luck buddies…Hope you all have a successful week…