Replacement Lenses & Wardrobe Malfunctions…
I have been composing this blog in my head all morning…And I am not even really sure where or how to begin…
Have you ever just woke up one day and felt different?
Well. I shouldnt say I woke up that way. Its been building all week. And I could definitely feel it. But this morning, it seems to have surfaced…
I feel like somehow, someone slipped into my room this week and replaced my eyeballs with new ones…
I seem to be able to handle life so much better these days. Look at situations completely differently. And I am learning to let go so much quicker…
And for some reason, I am completely and utterly focused on my end result. I dont care how I get there or what route I take. I can see it.
Yesterdays honesty blog helped a lot. And I am going to update my ticker and post CURRENT full length pics here shortly so I can continue to be honest with ME.
So. Let me try to pull this blog together.
Have been back on track now for about 6 weeks. Mentally, I am there…
Physically, well, lets just say I am incredibly impatient for my body to catch up to my dertermination and mindset. In my head I am already back at 180…In reality, I am soooo NOT…LOL…
This is a crucial point for most of us.
I NEED to see SOME results or I will get discouraged and give up. I know this about myself. So I am finding every little positive I can these days. And I know by doing this, eventually, the body will catch up…
Last night I had a wardrobe malfunction. One that could have sent me over the edge and back to the starting line.
I was going out last night with an old friend I hadnt seen since May. Of course, I wanted to look good, because right now, I am feeling good…
Had the outfit picked out all week in my mind.
Came home after work, threw on the skirt I wanted to wear and SLAM…It didnt fit!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!
I was truly and honestly SHOCKED.
I JUST WORE THIS SKIRT IN JUNE ON VACATION IN FLORIDA!!!!!!
It fit FINE. I looked cute in it in fact…
I could not get it zipped…
I couldnt beleive it. I know I had gained about 11 pounds between June and my surgery in August. But I had NO IDEA it would mean a difference in pant size. Most things are still fitting…
Not this skirt.
Well. My initial gut reaction was sadness. Depression. Anger. Frustration. I wanted to cry.
Had my friend not been there with me, I might have.
But I was in such a hurry (I was running late) that I truly just tucked it away in the back of my brain and frantically returned to some jean capris I had.
I truly had every intention of coming back to this and dwelling on it. OCDing about it. And perhaps become depressed about it. Truly. This was in my plan!!
Well…
Oddly enough. I went out. Had a great time. A blast in fact. Felt cute. Felt happy. Felt sexxy. And this morning, by the time I did look over and see the skirt hanging there, I had already moved on…
With my new lenses it didnt seem quite like the earthquake I thought it was…
Could it be that I am a bit of a drama queen when it comes to weight loss?????????? No…NOT ME!!! 
HAH…
For this morning, truly, I was like “Who cares?? So it doesnt fit today…Soon it will.”
Very strange feeling for me…I am so used to berating myself!!!! I am forever my harshest critic.
So I decided to hang the skirt on my door. And try again in two weeks.
I decided NOT to give in to the urge to derail.
Its just a skirt.
I remembered when I first bought it, it wouldnt even come up over my hips, I was a size 22 trying to fit into a 16…
But gradually I fit into it. I remembered this this morning as my brain was POUNDING from my over indulgance of alcohol last night…LOL…
I decided NOT to focus on the last three months and the pounds I gained.
Instead, I looked far far back at where I started, and then I looked off into the distance at where I want to be…
And I knew I could and WOULD get there. And I felt true and honest peace. And I also felt HAPPINESS.
There is nothing better in this world then the feeling of peace in happiness with yourself.
Then, with my head pounding, and running on less than four hours of sleep, I got my butt up and out of bed. I ran my errands. Cleanned my house, and then I went to the gym. I had a GREAT workout. And I felt remarkable.
Every little thing I did today, put the skirt further and further away from my mind…
That skirt could have been the damn fat fairy telling me to give up and go eat a donut…Could have been a demon saying “Give it up girl. You are fat and will always be fat”. It could have been lots of things last night. In a moment of weakness.
But somehow, without me knowing, my inner strength surfaced and I was able to see….
Its really just a silly little skirt…
LOVE it…your attitude I mean, and your blog. It gives me hope that one day the positive thoughts will be what wins out, not that dang fat fairy that I seem to invite into my world all too often. GOOD FOR YOU!!
You are awesome!! I love your positive attitude!!It’s contagious!! And yes… that skirt WILL fit soon!! As a matter of fact it’s gonna be to big for you to fit into to!! It will be falling off and you’ll just have to get the a new one!! I feel so happy just reading your blog!! I feel happy when others feel happy and yours did that for me today!! Keep up the positivity and know you are definitely on the right track!! You go girl!!
What a great blog….so inspiring. You have discovered the power of positive thinking! You keep it up, I have no doubt that skirt will be too big before you know it. Stay happy, that’s what life is all about.
Girl you rock. I am so proud that you didnt let this get to you…you kept a positive attitude! One thing is for sure, looking back gets you no where.
Little story for you.
When I was going to the gym. I was late going one day. When I got there, it was just me & this one other guy. I heard mumbling (didnt know if it was aimed at me..being half deaf)and I was like..excuse me. The guy was like..”talking to myself”. Oh, ok. I was standing there drinking water..he stopped his workout for a minute and he said….”i was just telling myself..this is so ridiculous! I used to be able to do so much more..and now look..barely do anything” Poor guy was pretty upset..I told him…I used to be able to walk 5 or 6 miles..and now I can barely make one…the thing is…we have to start where we are at today..and the good thing is..we get stronger and better with time..looking back doesnt get us anything. He looked at me..said your right, gave me a smile and started working out again.
Bless you, cause you have already learned..no looking back..and no sense in beating yourself up..girl, those simple ideas are worth everything.
With that positive attitude and inner strenght…you will make it!!
Love Debbie
You’ll get back into that skirt. It will probably be much too big by next summer!
The important thing is you have grown wiser and stronger on your weight loss journey. Now when something doesn’t work out, you no longer immediately seek solace in food.
Onward and downward (weight that is) supergal Dawn
Juliette
I am where you were after your surgery right now. The shock of gaining weight due to immobility is brutal. Seems so unfair.
Thanks for posting this. You will climb out and will wear that skirt again.
Oh Dawnie, way to overcome, that naggy little defeating voice. SOOOO proud of you! You will not only get into that skirt, it will get too big!!
Your postive attitude is wonderful, and such an inspiration to me! Watch out, girl! Before you know it that skirt will not fit because it is too big! You go, girl!
Big HUGS!
So glad to hear that you fought that fat fairy demon!!! She is just the most wickedest being of all, I tell ya. I have been conned many a time into believing her lies! No more!!! I am so proud of you for the progress you have made.
Keep it up!
Wow….what did you do with my Dawnie?? LOL!
Anyhow, you said this:
“I NEED to see SOME results or I will get discouraged and give up. I know this about myself.”
OMG—can I relate??
Your entire blog was speaking VOLUMES to me because I can sincerely say I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT having been there myself many times!! Argh!!
I’m glad to hear you had a good time and that these days, you’re keeping positive!
Great blog! This has happened to me very often in my near past and I (unlike you) do fall apart and berate myself. It’s nice to read this and know that someone is handling it the RIGHT way. Good job Dawnie….you’re totally right…it’s just a silly little skirt!!!