Life is but a dream…
Row row row you boat…Gently down the stream…Merrily merrily merrily merrily…
Life is but a dream…
Okay…Have NO IDEA why that song popped into my head! Or why I jotted it down as the title…Perhaps I have lost a marble or two??
Anywho…
It has ALWAYS amazed me how the mind works. Mine. Yours. Ours…
I swear, if I could do it over again, I would study the human brain…Fascinating shit in there…
Mine needs to be preserved for future generations…So they can see how weird a mind can be…LOL…(No, that does not give any of you the right to disect me brain and store it in a jar on your desk…)
As usual…I have been deep in thought…
It amazes me how we can go from one place to the next in a matter of days, hours even, in our minds…
Three days ago, I hit rock bottom, mentally…
Today, I awoke in great discomfort…Back was telling me I had done far too much yesterday…But I sit here smilin…
Why?
Because I choose too!!
I feel great. Mentally clean. Determined. Focused. Ready to go…
Dont know where it came from. Or where it has been, but my motivation for not only my weight loss journey, but for my life, is back…
The power of positive thinking is indeed a wonderous thing…
Its like, I woke up Sunday from a very long dream…And finally decided to get on with my life, and WHAM, today, thats precisely what I am doing!!! Nothings really changed, but my attitude…
HAH…I suppose you could say I gave myself an attitude adjustment! WOO HOO!!! (A much needed one, I am afraid!)
I reflect back on a year ago…
This time last year I was in a very dark dark place…The lowest I had been in a long long time…I lost one of my dearest friends…No, I didnt misplace him, we just mutually agreed that our frienship had become a bit toxic to each other, and we both chose to say goodbye…
My heart broke as we both walked away…And a severe depression set it…
But I awoke each day, still, my stubborness for once, providing me the only amunition I had at the time to live…
And I started my journey back…Back to me…
Its been a long journey…But for every pot whole I hit along the way, there was also some remarkable rest stops!!!
In a year, I have cleared one hurdle after the other…Not without pain or incident, but cleared none the less…I faced Judge after Judge…People, friends, coworkers, who felt the need to tell me what I did and didnt do right…Answered question after question…Heard disappointment time and time again…
Always, I remained as honest as I could be, and answered them directly…Explained when I felt I needed to…Apologized when that was needed, and through it all, I stood, and faced them with as much grace and dignity as I could muster…
I took my blows…And I remained standing…
One year later, life is good…Finally…
Perfect? Oh, HELL NO, but, its okay.
I am alive.
I have a job.
I have a car.
I have a roof over my head.
I am still the girl I was…Cute. Smart. Witty and oh so sexxxy!!!! She is still here! She just got hidden a bit!
I have no doubt I made the right choice last year…Had I known how hard the next year would have been, I might not have…
Had I known that my weight loss journey would completely stall, I might not have…
But, it is what it is, right???
And today, I am okay. I am no thinner today then I was on Sunday, but for some reason, I feel AWESOME…I KNOW I will do it this time…I can feel it deep down in my soul…I KNOW I will get this weight off…
I KNOW my life is now on the upswing…
I have a wonderful circle of friends and family who do thier best to support me, even when they dont understand me…
I have a wonderful new man in my life who has also faced my judges…Walked right into a firing range and faced them with grace and dignity…And simply by being himself, proved them wrong…
I remain, still, good friends with my ex husband, and I am glad we are both moving on…I wish him soooo much joy for putting up with me for soooo many years!!! LOL…
I am not an easy gal to love…For I know this all too well…
But love me they do…
And you know what?
Today, I love myself too…
Yeah yeah…I am still fat…And probably will be for a while…But I have drive and determination…
I have always had this…
This is what took me from a low income, shitty ass, neighborhood in my little hometown to where I am today…
This is what has taken me from waiting tables to being an office professional (And please, that is NOT a slam against waitresses!!! I had a lot of fun doing that and still miss it from time to time)
This is what has allowed me from going from my highest weight of 250+ pounds to where I am now…
This has helped me overcome the loss of my father…The loss of babies…The loss of friends…
This is what has made me the woman I am today…
Drive and Dertermination…
This is the difference between those that THINK and those that DO…
I have ALWAYS been a woman of much thought…But I am also a woman of much ACTION…
And this I am very very proud of…
A woman of much action ! - i LIKE it - certainly sounds as if you have been down the dumps and back…! Whoo hoo - ur getting all the other areas in your life okay - I wish you luck with the weight side of life! YOu can do it - lady of action!
Wow…..very inspirational. It actually sounds a lot like my life, we have a lot in common. I am inspired by your strength and determination….you go girl!
Love that attitude, you are such an inspiration, keep it up.
Dawnie, Dawnie, Dawnie….what can I say to you? I will be honest: You are one amazing woman, a woman I am proud to know and even more proud to call a friend. I am happy to know that you’re in a good place right now and that you’re moving right along—this is what’s important in life, THINKING, but more importantly DOING! I have never doubted that you would reach your goals, all of them, just like I also know that I will achieve mine. Sometimes we let life get in the way and we concentrate on the dark clouds which surround us instead of making the best of our situations…I mean US and OUR in general. I UNDERSTAND you…as we have discussed in the past, we have a lot of things in common….our situations have turned out differently, but you should know they were/are very similar. I admire for having the courage and the strength to take stock of your life, live by your decisions and walk away with your head high, looking into the bright future that awaits you!! Now that I am back, you are forbidden to leave Buddyslim because I surely have missed you!!
I am so happy to see that you’re doing so well mentally and emotionally! :o) You’ve been my buddy for so long on here and I’ve seen you go through so many ups and downs, it is nice to see you in a good place now. You deserve it!