Dawn’s Weight Loss Journey

Well. I am here…Three days in a row…

This is big for me.

I used to come to this site daily. Several times a day. Actually, I was more than a bit obsessed with it.

And I was the most successful then.

I lost 32 pounds in four months on this site.

Then I fell off the freakin wagon.

Been trying to find me a new wagon for the better part of a year.

Recently, while describing some life acheivments to a friend. I said “I have pretty much accomplished everything I set out to do…With the exception of my weight loss…”

I think that, more than anything, brought me back here…

I dont want to be a failure. Its not in my nature. I am an acheiver. A perfectionist. A go getter…

The other thing. The death of my father.

Tomorrow is the five year anniversary of his death. That means I have been fighting this battle for four and a half years. For it was his death that put me on this path in January of 2004. That is wayyyyy too long…UGH…

So here I am. I have no plan. Baby steps. I have promised myself to come out here every day, and as time permits, I will blog, read blogs, respond to blogs, and maybe just maybe, participate in the forums. In that order.

Thanks to Stephanie who commented on my last blog…

She mentioned feeling something pulling her back. I feel that too.

I kept thinking it was the demise of my marriage that was holding me back. That once I got that cleanned up, I would be able to take on the world.

Well. The divorce was final April 2nd. My ex and I get a long fine and both of us are more at peace than ever before.

I am happy. Peacefull.

I have even met a new guy. A real sweetheart…

But something inside that I can not pinpoint seems to be holding me back from moving forward…I have no idea, truly, what it could be.

As stated. I know how to do it. I have done it. I was successful at it. I am still proud of the loss I maintained. But I dont know how to get rid of the 15 pounds I regained and continue to loose down to my goal. I just seem to have no motivation or passion…And I have no idea where to look or how to find it…

Ugh…

Take care and good luck!