Another thing accomplished
So. About two years ago, once I had shed several pounds, I realized how much of life passed me by while I was fat. I used my fat as an excuse to NOT do most things…Mostly out of fear of ridicule, but also, some things were physically impossible…
Well, I decided I no longer wanted to be that person.
I wanted to do things. A lot of things. I wanted to live life. Not watch it go by. I wanted to make sure when I go meet my maker, wheter it be sooner or later, that he (or she) would say “You did good kid”…
So I kind of made a list in my head of things I want to do before I go…
But mostly, what this translates too, is that the things that scare me the most, I force myself to do…
This can be hard sometimes, because, sometimes, I have to make sure I am NOT doing something I dont REALLY want to do. (My marriage is a great example of this) I had to tread very carefully when working on this one. To make sure I am not using my list as a reason to toss a 13 year marriage…I imagine I will always have some doubts…
But for the most part, this has led me to do many things over the last two years that I would have NEVER done 60 pounds ago…And it feels great…
So this weekend I did something that I was absolutely petrified about. I traveled two hours north of here, by myself, to meet some fellow beer lovers from Cleveland. People I had not met, only talked too…I was sooooo scared…Scared to go by myself. Scared to go into a bar by myself (Where I was meeting the first one) Scared. Scared. Scared.
To the point of getting sick to my stomach…
But. I did it. I walked into the brew pub. Sat at the bar. Ordered a drink. And then, once I got settled, went in search of this person. Yes, it was awkward occassionly, but overall, I had a great time. Ended up meeting four of the guys and even two girls. Had a blast. Not exactly what I thought it would be, but it was fun.
And now, in retrospect, I am like, what was the big deal??? Really?? Why am I so afraid all the time of doing new things? They almost ALWAYS end up okay…
So, I am very glad I did it. And am going to work on NOT getting worked up as much prior to something like this…
But I will say, that for any of you just starting on this journey, take this to heart…Life WILL change for you when you shed the weight. You will discover things about yourself you didnt even know existed…But man…No matter how hard this battle is, and it IS…The results go sooo far beyond “I just want to look good in a swimsuit”…
Yes. That is certainly a good by product of weight loss. Who doesnt want to look hot? But man. Health wise I am in better shape then ever…No longer winded just walking up stairs. AND I AM STILL FAT!!! But in great shape…But for me, its been the internal stuff that has shown me the true meaning of this weight loss…
So good luck to all of you…I hope you find that person inside!!!
That is so awesome… glad you had a great time.
Wow, good for you! I think all of us at some time or another have used our weight as a security blanket to hide behind, as something to distance ourselves from other people or our fears of failing and rejection. It’s really great that you overcame your fear and put yourself out there! Thanks for inspiring me to do the same
I just love you Dawnie. Proud of ya too chicky! I get worked up about the same kind of things and often let my fat keep me down too! Well no more darn it! Have a great day woman!
Watch out! Your self confidence is showing! VERY PROUD OF YOU!!
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us Dawnie. You know, your blog was inspiring to say the least…I think we can all relate to the fear we have of “living” and how we use our fat armor as a shield from pain, ridicule or whatever else ails our hearts! Thanks my friend, you’ve done it again!