The number 13…
Today is my 13th wedding anniversary…
13 years ago today, I was preparing for the biggest day of my life…
I can remember it quite clearly, actually…It was a beautiful, crisp but sunny end of October day…
It is no surprise to those of you in my circle of friends that this last year has not been the greatest for Steve and I… And that we have been separated for the last two months…
Yet, today, on this anniversary, I find my self reflecting on the last 13 years…
I met Steve when I was 20. So very young…I thought I was old. I thought I would NEVER find a good man… We met at the Limited… He walked up to me, while I was staring helplessly at a copier, and asked if I needed help… And the rest, they say, is history…
I dont think he knew quite then how much help I DID need, or would require through the years…
13 years…
When I think of all that has occured in those years, I am astounded…
I have lost two children…If I had carried my first to term, he or she would be 14 now…I cant even fathom having a 14 year old…
We have lost several pets. Grandparents. Aunts. Uncles. Friends. My father. I have gained a sister. I changed jobs. I gained 13 nieces and nephews! Soooo many things…
When I think back through the years, there have been moments of anger. Frustration. Tears, sure…But there has been many more days of laughter… Silliness… Late nights in bed, laughing. Singing songs. Endless games of Rock, Scissor, Paper…And the endless arm wrestling tournaments. 13 years and I have yet to win one!!
These are all “Steve and Dawn” things…Most of you wouldnt understand…
So as this 13th year arrives…And I decide which path I must now travel, I guess I am just proud…Proud of the last 13 years of my life…
I will not allow my current situation to skew my view of all those other years…I dont want to look back in regret. I dont want to end up hating the one person who I have always looked up too…I dont want to destroy the 13 GOOD years…It is not worth it…
I met and married one of the kindest. Smartest. Creative…Silliest men ever met…I dont regret one single day of my life.
Sometimes, stories just end…And it is always sad…And a bit disappointing when you get to the end of a really good story…
So as I reflect on these years and contemplate the coming year, I will say this…
Happy anniversary Stevie… We have come far from those two people standing by the copier… I barely recognize either of them. Time has changed us both, it seems…
Where our story will end I do not know, but I have no regrets, and I will always always look at you as the best thing to ever have happened to me…
Thank you for 13 years…
Dawnie, your blog today moved me to tears, in fact, I am weeping as I type. These are not tears of sadness, they are tears of understanding. I know you and Steve have tremendous love and admiration for one another, sometimes, that’s ALL you need in a relationship, sometimes, it’s not. I have been struggling with similar situations myself, as I have shared with you in the past. I’m happy that you are able to recognize the wonderful and well-spent time you and Steve have shared. Although we don’t know if this story has a happy ending or not, my hope is that whatever path you choose to take, will lead you both, well-deserving people on a happier, more enlightened destination. My prayers are with you & Steve on your 13th Anniversary!
Wow if I was reading this about 3 years ago I wouldn’t understand what you were talking about LOVE for each other. Hence the fact I got a divorce after 3 years. I don’t think I was ever IN love with my ex, we were young with a baby. But I have good news the guy I am with now has showed me what love is supposed to be like. Try and make the best of the day and good job on the weight loss!!!
Today is a good day for you to reflect on your past. Nothing wrong with enjoying the good times you have had with your husband. Think hard about what you want out of life. Be strong and the rest will figure itself out with time!
Good reflection, Dawnie, you moved me to tears. You are an amazing, strong woman, so proud of you! Hang in there, I know from experience I still think about the good times I had with exes, too, it is natural. Just be good to you, and embrace each day! Love ya!
Even if you dont know where the future will take you, and really do any of us? its so wonderful that you can look back and remember all the great times.
Enjoy your day remembering how blessed you are.
Lori
Wow!!!
I remember meeting Alex too..
I think you are doing a brave thing by not regretting.. Regretting would mean you did not take the lessons from the situation you had.. And God knows where y’all will be in the years to come.. Reflecting on a relationship is hard, but well worth it..
I wish you and Steve the best!
Very moving. Much respect for holding it down for 13 years. Kudos, Dawnie. Your blog on this subject comes at a time when I am just about to formally commit to a relationship that I believe must and will last me my lifetime, what’s left of it. I went through a separation 3 years ago and I didn’t make it to 13 then. I made it to 9. Knowing all sorts of things that a relationship can bring and how a union of two can take on so many different forms after a while, I am being very silent and introspective these days. Probably you’re right. The bad memories should not taint the good ones. Maybe I will be able to do what you did after another 3 year had passed.
I am happy that you can reflect on the good things of your past 13 years! So many people only focus on the bad, when you know there had to be good times too if it saw you through 13 years! No matter where you go in the future I am sure it will be bright and sunny, because you have such a postive outlook for your future!
You are such an inspiration to me!
Congrats on 13. THat is a number that has eluded me so far. #1 ended at 12 1/2 and #2 is currently standing at 12. I am waiting to celebrate “You have been my husband the longest day, which will be on November 20, 2007.” Which is when we will surpass the 12 1/2 mark. Yeah, for us! 13 should be coming up soon.
Yeah for you and all your great memories.
Debbie