Dawn’s Weight Loss Journey

 

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?Success is loving life and daring to live it?? ~Maya Angelou

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I love Maya Angelou. She is one of my favorite writers. So full of wisdom she is.

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Friday, when I got home from work, a card and small gift were waiting for me courtesy of my husband, of course, to congratulate me on finally reaching the 170?s?On the card was the above saying?

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And inside, these words:

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?You always dare to do more?to achieve more?to be more??

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And of course, he added his own words of praise and support?This was all very sweet, and much appreciated, especially since my day at work on Friday turned out to be rather crappy!

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I have reflected on these words a lot this weekend?Because when I read them they went right to my heart. Because I have always tried to love my life, whatever it entailed, and live it to its fullest?When things were thrown at me, as they often are in life, I would falter, for a moment, but always, I marched on?I have, through the years, pushed my fears aside, and stepped out on the ledge many many times. Afraid of failing, absolutely, but more afraid of not even trying?

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How many of us put off this weight loss journey more then once, because we were afraid? How many of us have fallen off the wagon, more then once, and were afraid to get back on?? How many of us, deep in our souls, are not even so much afraid of failing, but of succeeding??? Because we all know that often success brings changes?And changes bring fear?I bet there are many of us?

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I spent all of my 20?s afraid of trying to lose weight?Afraid I couldn?t do it?Afraid it would just be too hard. Afraid I would fail. I was afraid to do new things, or meet new people, or form new friendships. I hid behind my fat like a suit of armor?Fear, used in that manor, is not good?

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Then when I was 31, my father passed away. Very unexpectedly. He had been overweight his whole life. Diabetic. Heart problems. High blood pressure. I became afraid that I would end up just like him and die before my time?Fear.

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In this case, the fear pushed me to finally begin this weight loss journey.

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In the early days, I used this fear of dying as my battle cry. When times got hard and I wanted to reach for that burger and fries, I would simply think of my dad, and what he wouldn?t give up to have a chance at life again?I cant be certain, of course, but I imagine he would give up a burger, if he could do it again?

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Fear, used in that manor is good?

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So, again, I am back to this card?

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A simple card. Hallmark. $2.49. This card probably means more to me then anything else given to me in the last year?Because it is validation for me. Validation of a philosophy I have tried to adhere to in my world. At all costs. That it came from my husband is no great surprise. He often knows me better then I know myself, I think?

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With this simple card, he validated my journey?Almost four years in the making?And he let me know that he noticed?Even when others don?t, that I do dare to live my life?By my rules. My standards. My guidelines?

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Somewhere along the way, in the last four years, I stopped letting fear rule me?I take much greater risks then ever before. I try things now I would never have tried before. I love quicker, and more deeply now, because I am not afraid to do so. The fear is there, ever lurking in the background, but I seem to have found the power to control it better then ever. To step outside my box, while keeping it locked within?

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So I guess the message of this rambling blog today is, if its fear holding you back?From anything?Weight loss, family business, jobs, life, etc?Don?t let it?Please don?t?Life is pathetically too short?Way too short to let fear be the reason to not try. We must, all of us, at least try?

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Buddies, I hope that you all conquer some small fear today! And I wish for all of you to have your own validation soon, and the will and strength to dare to live your life!

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Happy Monday!

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Well, as the blog title suggests, I am indeed, FINALLY movin? right along?

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I got on and off the scale three times, in disbelief?

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I have finally, after three months, reached the 170?s!!!!

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I can hardly believe it. I felt yesterday as if I was destined to be 180 for life?UGH?Now I am four pounds from my next mini goal. And I think I will reach it soon?

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Here is what I did different:

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* I had a good friend give me a wake up call and a truth telling.

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* I increased my calories from 1200 to 1300 per day.

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*  I remained faithful and committed to my exercise, and I am now essentially exercising three times a day?Which equals roughly an hour and a half per day.

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*  I laid off the beer.

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*  I revamped my food journal and started back to basics by measuring my food and looking up, on line, the actual calories of everything that went in my mouth.

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*I stopped lying to my journal, myself, and others?

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I will continue to do these things for the next few months to see if I still can keep going.

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Buddies?I can?t even tell you how I feel. I have sat here for the last few months, reading blogs, forums, etc?Seeing some of you lose 3-5 pounds per week?And I just kept sinking lower and lower wondering why my loss had slowed soooo much?I just couldn?t get it?

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I truly felt I was doing everything the same as I had been doing since the fall. I did?

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It was only when someone outside my own box had the courage to step up and be honest with me, to give me a different perspective, that I realized that no, I had not been doing the same?I had little by little slacked off on a lot of my key elements?And added in new somewhat harmful things, without making any further adjustments to my plan. I suppose I knew on some level I was doing this, but I refused to acknowledge it?

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So I am glad to now be FIRMLY back on track?I am very much looking forward to reaching my mini goal and enjoying the 70?s for a while. I hear they were GROOOOOVY!!!!

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So the lesson for the day kids, is, if you have NOT been losing weight for some time?Take a good long hard look at yourself?Call in a trusted third party if you have to, and most of all, be honest?With others, yes, most most importantly, to yourself?

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Fozie, this ones for you:

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Movin’ right along in search of good times and good news,
With good friends, you can’t lose,
This could become a habit.
Opportunity knocked once, let’s reach out and grab it,
Together we’ll nab it.
We’ll hitch-hike, bus, or yellow cab it.

Movin’ right along, foot-loose and fancy free.
Gettin’ there is half the fun; come share it with me.
Movin’ right along (doog-a-doon, doog-a-doon)
We’ll learn to share the load.
We don’t need a map to keep this show on the road. 

Movin’ right along, we’re truly birds of a feather,
We’re in this together, and you know where you’re goin’.
Movie stars with flashy cars and life with the top down.
We’re stormin’ the big town.
Yeah! Storm is right, should it be snowin’?

Movin’ right along, foot-loose and fancy free.
You’re ready for the big time, is it ready for me?

Movin’ right along
Movin’ right along

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~Movin’ Right Along (Kermit and Fozie)

 

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Woo hoo!! Buddyslim has returned! I was completely devastated without my beloved buddyville today!!!!

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Life is going well!! (well, except for the tumor business)

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Last night we attended our monthly Condo Board Meeting again, and FINALLY we were told we are getting my very favorite elliptical fixed. FINALLY!!!! And, in addition to that, we are getting a new treadmill and a new elliptical. (I mean, it?s only been 2 ? months!)

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This will make THREE ellipticals and two treadmills?This makes Dawnie very very happy?And when Dawnie is happy, the whole world sighs in relief!

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So?Last night, I put on my workout gear?Now, I prefer to work out in the Capri type sweat pants. Usually the low waisted type with draw strings?

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So I have this pair on last night, and blessedly, they are getting too big on me?So I end up pulling them up most of the time?(I don?t mind, really, because, isn?t that burning more calories, repetitive pulling up my pants motion???)

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Well?I notice that my stomach kinda ?feels? funny?And by that, I mean, I felt something under my skin?(I swear it buddies!!!)

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So I poke, and prod, and wiggle all around?Trying to figure out what it is?I go work out, then proceed to sit in the condo meeting?The whole time feeling my stomach about, oh, every three minutes?

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Now?My OCD has already taken root in my evil little brain?

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And I am like. OH MY GOD. I have a tumor. An ulcer. Stomach cancer?Belly button rejection. Something. Something is not right.

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PLUS my stomach was a bit sore?I assumed this was the cancer spreading?And I start to panic in my head?I plan it all out?How the doctor visit will go?How I will deliver the news to my family and friends?Even how my funeral will go, because, of course, in my head, I have the worst, most unusual, and totally fatal version of stomach cancer?Truly. By the time I get home I have myself dead and buried and haunting some of you!!! (And you KNOW who you are!!!)

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So my concern must have shown on my face or perhaps after 14 years he just knows how crazy I am, at any rate, Steve asks me what?s up??? I say ?I think I have a tumor??He was like ?What????? and I repeat? ?I think I have a tumor!!!?

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So, I have him come over and feel all around my belly?I?m like ?Do you feel it? My tumor? Feel how hard it is??

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He laughs and says ?Dawn, that is NOT a tumor?That?s your stomach muscle!!!?

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Now, in my defense?I have been doing stomach crunches nightly. But I changed them some a few months ago?I started doing them slightly different?Well, I didn?t feel the change was working as well as in the past,  so just Sunday, I switched back to doing them the old way? And immediately felt a burn, which is good?

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Well, I am not entirely convinced that he is right?But it does make sense. My stomach was sore, and the hardness wasn?t concentrated in a ball, like I imagine it would be?Sooo. I am going to say that for now, I don?t have a tumor.

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Apparently, I have a stomach muscle, or some more fat has dropped off revealing the muscle?Something happened this week to make me notice it, that?s for sure!!!

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Still, though, I think I shall ask my doctor when next I see her to check my stomach?JUST to be safe!!!!!

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Most likely, she will laugh at me too?

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Well, I sure hope you all have a great night! I am heading off here to go do MORE stomach crunches?Gotta get that stomach flat flat flat?Bathing suite season is quickly arriving!!!

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Love you all and I missed you guys like CRAZY today!!!

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Cheers!

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Dawnie

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Happy Tuesday buddies! I hope this blog finds you all doing well!

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Well?I am in a pretty groovy mood today?Not quite sure why, but heck, I am gonna embrace it?

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So last night the husband took some new pics of me. I wanted some pics in shorts to put on my personal webpage?

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Well, the problem is, I am down to one pair of shorts that fit?Seriously?I just bought new shorts last summer, and all of them are now too big?This is overall, good, but frustrating, as now I MUST go out and buy new shorts?And really, that is such a burden, eh girls?? To be forced to shop??

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Luckily, Steve took mercy on me though, and said we will go out Saturday to get me some new shorts?YAY!! And yes, he comes with me?He is ever the great husband that way?We actually love shopping together?Shhhh. Don?t tell his friends?He might get teased!!!

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So, anyway?

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Last night I come inside from the photo shoot, and change back into my workout clothes?And I am standing in the foyer, looking at my self in the full length mirror?And in my head I start criticizing the things I don?t like about the person staring back at me?

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Well, Steve slides up behind me and looks at me in the mirror?

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Ahhh?We have a moment?Truly, where his eyes meet mine in the mirror?

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And he says ?Dawnie, you look really really nice these days? And I say ?Yeah, but?? and he stops me?

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And he stands behind me, and moves his hands down my body (Get your minds out of the gutter buddies!) but he moves them down, from top to bottom, using them to illustrate his point ?Look, here you have a waist you didn?t before?Look at your hips and how much smaller they are, and your legs, well, your legs are hot?? and on and on?

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And I was reminded again, of how funny God can be sometimes?Because sometimes, I feel God shortchanged me when he doled out my father?But he more then made up for it when he doled out my husband?

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I am sometimes less then kind to him?And I often try his patience?And I rarely give him the kudos he so very much deserves?I often want more more more then he gives me, failing to see what wonderful things he DOES do?but what he did for me last night, can not be put into words?

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He made me stop and see the TRUE reflection and not the one I had convinced myself existed?And for that, the man is genius and a true king among men?

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So I am posting here a pic. To illustrate to you and to me, that I am not the girl I was yesterday?That I do indeed  like the girl I am today, but who will I be tomorrow??????

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I simply do not know, but I am increasingly anxious to meet her?

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Take care buddies, and if you have been blessed with a truly good spouse or significant other?Make sure you tell God thank you?And while your at it, make sure you tell them too?

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Happy Monday Buddlyslimmers?Am I the only one that has ever mistyped our title so that it says buddy SLIME???  Hah hah hah! I do that every now and then, and thank God I have caught it! But it always makes me smile when I do it!!

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So, it?s Monday!!! YAY!!! Okay, really, I am not THAT thrilled for Monday, but I am glad a new week is here so I can remain on plan and get to where I need to go!

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It was absolutely beautiful here in Central Ohio this weekend, and I spent as much time as I possibly could outside?Soaking up the sun!!! It was delightful! I am now a wonderfully tan goddess!

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So yesterday, Steve and I have this grand plan?We were going to go to the workout room at 9 (when they open) and workout for an hour. Then we were going to go home, leash up the girls, and then take them all on a trial run through of a 5k (3.2 miles)?We wanted to do this for two reasons?

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One, we have our first 5K coming up mid May and wanted to make sure we were in shape for it?Second, we knew we were having steak last night, so we wanted to make sure we worked out REALLY well, so we could enjoy our steaks!

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It was a great plan?In theory?

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Here is how it really happened?

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Miss Lucy, my oldest, fattest, and most decrepit dog, has a lot of issues?We think she has doggie asthma (if there is such a thing) because sometimes, when she gets going outside, she starts gasping for breath?

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This happened one time last summer, and Steve, bless his heart, had to carry her back home?A 35 pound dog!!!!

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So we knew it was iffy at best, but we headed out before it was real hot, we packed water, of course, and I guess we thought she would do better because I have been running her every morning for 15-20 minutes with no problems?

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Well, about two miles into our marathon, Miss Lucy decides she can not take it?Starts making a horrendous noise, gasping for air?We give her water, and she calms down slightly?But she sat on her haunches and looked right at me as if to say ?I shall go no farther mom??

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Now at this point, I am more worried about her then finishing my walk, of course?We were also two miles from home, so we knew there was no way she would make it back!

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Now, I think it was a combination of the weeds, her age, the heat, and the fact that she is carrying about 5-7 pounds more on her frame then she should?But for whatever reason, she was struggling for breath, and well, that?s just scary?

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So Steve decides he will run home and grab the car and come back for us?So I am able to get her to walk just a little farther up the road to our park. And she and I sit on the banks of the pond to await Steve…

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I really didn?t mind, because it was soooo pretty out?The geese were in the pond, and our first batch of goslings had hatched, and Lucy and I sat and watched them for 20 minutes?They were cute cute cute?Playing in the water?It was very peaceful?I just kept petting her, and talking to her, and eventually she calmed down?

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So finally Steve arrives, and I throw Miss Lucy in the front seat, and Steve says ?Watcha doing?? and I say, ?Well, I can?t have you folks breaking my stride, now?I wanted to walk a 5k today, and so I shall!? I sent him on home with the dog, and I continued on my walk by myself?I was soooo glad I did?

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With the walk and the hour long workout yesterday, I felt no guilt what-so-ever, enjoying my delicious steak last night! Especially, since I ate less then half of the darn thing anyway, and yes, I wrote it all down in my journal, and even with the steak, bread, and wine, I came in right on track with my calories?

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Soooo. I feel really great today. I stayed on plan ALL weekend?I exercised and remained active ALL weekend?And I woke up this morning and ran with Miss Lucy again, so I am on track to have a 100% on plan week?

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So hopefully, on Friday, I will have good news to report. I sure hope!!! TOM has packed his bags and should be heading out today, not to be seen again in these parts for another 28 days! THANK GOD?He was relatively well behaved this time, so I can?t complain, but I don?t think I have been this excited for a weigh in for a long long time. I hope I don?t set myself up for disappointment, but I do feel like this COULD be my week!!

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Keep your fingers crossed kids!

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Have a safe and happy week!

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Dawnie

 

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Ahhhh…Happy HAPPY Friday to all my buddies out here in Buddyville!!! It promises to be a delightful weekend here in Central Ohio…YAY!!!

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Well, today is USUALLY my weigh in day…However, I did NOT weigh in…Why?? Because Damn TOM showed up yesterday… He just annoys the hell out of me…(and my husband, I might add!!! ) So I just dont do that to myself. I KNOW I am up at least two pounds as I ALWAYS am when he comes. Because he brings every piece of luggage he can find, and he makes a complete mess out of things…And yes, please note I refer to him as “HE” because, lets face it, who else could be so cruel to us women, but a MAN!!! So I just dont weigh in…Because it just depresses me, and well, its Friday, and I have no desire to be depressed today!!!

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Okay…WIth that said, though, I have had long talks this week with myself, my spouse, and a good friend about this whole weight loss thing…I have litterally been at a stand still for three months…I dont even think its a plateua, per say, because I lose and gain the same 5 pounds, so clearly SOMETHING is going on…But it really had me bummed this week…

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As normally happens with these self reflections, I quickly realized that there are some things I SHOULD be doing that I am not…I AM doing some new things exercise wise, and all and all, I feel my exercise is on track…However, my food plan has not really changed in over a year and a half…I think my body has adjusted to it, and is no longer cooperating with the food…

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Soooo…After talking to these folks (my self included) I have formed a plan to change things up a bit…And I am very excited…

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Which is why I chose this blog title…Because although I havent had any NEW loss in over three months, I have continued to change the shape of my body, my soul, and my spirit. I FEEL deep in my core that I am on the right track…Heading in the right direction…Even though it seems to be taking me a while…So with all that said, today, I feel strangely fine…Even with TOM here…(Call the press, seriously!!)

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So I am in a good mood today…I have promised myself, and told my husband he is on strict orders to make sure I stay true to my promise, that I will have 7 full days 100% On plan both food and exercise…To arrive NEXT Friday for a weigh in, that will HOPEFULLY be a good one…

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I will fill you in on my new food plan next week, after I give it a trial run…

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On another note, my dearest sister, Michele, called me this morning at 5:30 a.m. She had her airline tickets in hand and will arrive in Columbus on Monday June 11th!!! I am EVER EVER so excited buddies…THREE years its been since I have seen her…And she is HOME for good!!!! YAY!!! This has made me the happiest young lady on earth today!!!

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I hope you all have WONDERFUL weekends!!

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Stay strong. Stay healthy, and by all means, STAY HAPPY!!! ~Dawnie

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“She’s got it all worked out I’m afraid
And your time is arranged
And it’s strange but you’re feeling fine
She’s got it all worked out I’m afraid
And your life is arranged
And it’s strange but you’re feeling fine”

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~Semisonic (All worked out/Feeling Strangely Fine)

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I guess I am rather boring today…Dont have much to say about weight loss or life right now…

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But I wanted to post this article I read yesterday here in my local paper, The Columbus Dispatch. Why am I posting it?

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Well, because I have heard and watched a ton of feedback, finger pointing, and what not in relation to this Virgina Tech Massacre…Immediately people condemed the police, the School, etc…Everyone wants to blame someone, because it makes it easier…Everyone wants to be REACTIVE instead of proactive…Many people want to make immediate changes to schools across the nation based on this one persons nightmarish interpretation of our freedoms…I personally (And this is JUST my oppinion) do not think thats the answer…

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I think, if we do that, then he wins…And our children, and future children, lose…

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Acts of insanity will always be with us; the question is about healing

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Wednesday,  April 18, 2007 3:33 AM

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By marc fisher

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Students, children really, captured the sounds of gunfire on their cell phones, and in minutes, the blasts were on radio and television. Professors, substitute parents of a sort, listened to the gunshots, some grabbing students off the sidewalks, others, trapped inside their offices, were unable to help.

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The firing continued for half an hour.

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As their friends died, college students, some of them not long removed from being tucked into bed each night, leaped from windows, and took off their sweat shirts to press them against bleeding wounds, and carried the injured out into the open, searching for safety.

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But there was no safety to be found Monday morning on the campus of Virginia Tech. In a society that floats on an ocean of information, the tools of technology kept spewing data, but the bits added up to no meaning. There was only an endless loop of unanswerable questions.

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Hours after so many lives had been shattered, there was no motive, no name, nothing but an assurance that the bad man was dead and that he had acted alone.

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So we were left with random images and sounds from a morning of random terror. Kids living on their own for the first time received only this guidance, an official e-mail, hours too late: “A gunman is loose on campus. Stay in buildings until further notice.”

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Over and over, we saw the video shot by a student who had not yet been warned to stay inside, and students, parents and the rest of us demanded to know why the first e-mail from the college did not arrive until two hours after the first shootings. This in Blacksburg, Va., the place Reader’s Digest called the most wired town in the nation.

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Over and over, we heard the recording of the shots. Students reached in their dorm rooms told us they were spending the day searching the Web for good information.

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There was none to be had. Instead, we recycled the same expressions of horror and anger and sympathy.

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Immediately, too many people tried to tie thin strands of information together to use in support of their particular causes and beliefs — for gun control, for campus security.

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But although we’re good at measuring horrors against one another — this is the deadliest shooting in U.S. history — we’re too hungry to ascribe meaning where there is only something far more unnerving: No meaning, no message, just random rage.

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As a soldier in Germany during World War II, Kurt Vonnegut, the great American writer who died last week, witnessed horrors even worse than the Virginia Tech killings. He reported what he’d seen, applied his intelligence and imagination to those incomprehensible human acts and came up with this: “So it goes.”

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If we could only understand, we could feel safer. It’s the random that terrifies. The terrorists know that. In 2002, the snipers that terrorized the Washington, D.C., area fed on that.

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The mad act of a solitary killer — a dead one who carried no identification — randomly slaughtering innocents in the most optimistic phase of their lives, at a place that is entirely about creating possibilities, creates vastly more victims than the murderer managed to shoot.

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Months, years from now, the pain and fear this man caused will diminish the lives of a generation of young people, just as the Columbine shootings did nearly eight years ago to the day: Adults who grew up free to become masters of their surroundings, plotting their own innocent childhood adventures, will once again tighten the screws on their own offspring.

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Security will be ratcheted up yet again. Schools and parents will assert ever-more constant surveillance and control over kids. And the freedoms that children enjoyed virtually throughout the history of civilization will seem ever more like something out of a distant work of fiction — the backwoods rambles in Mark Twain’s stories, the revelatory misadventures that J.D. Salinger’s Holden Caulfield grabbed for himself, the road to places unknown celebrated by Jack Kerouac.

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The relative handful of losers who emerge from some noxious soup of dysfunction with unchecked rage will be with us always. The question for the rest of us is whether to let their insane acts so diminish the lives of young people that the only frontiers left for them to explore are the virtual ones they travel through by click and scroll.

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Marc Fisher is a metro columnist for The Washington Post.

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marcfisher@washingtonpost.com

 

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DRATS!! I hate double chins?I hate ALL double chins, but mine in particular?They are just nasty little creatures?And they completely change the shape of a person?s otherwise lovely face?

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Why in the hell does fat need to collect there anyway???

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Now, I should start by saying that I have been obsessed with double chins well before I even had one?My sister and mom tease me to this day for something I walked around and did, a lot, back in my youth..

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In high school I didn?t even come close to having a double chin, but I was sooo worried about getting one, that I did some funky neck exercises I had heard about in Readers Digest?(Yes, I swear)?

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To achieve this, I had to throw my head back as far as it can go, and repeatedly open and shut my mouth to feel the pull of that neck muscle?And then DAILY, I would feel my chin to see if had grown or shrunk?I can not even tell you how much time I wasted worrying about a chin that did not exist!!

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So, no big surprise, when I found out I DID have one, I was quite shocked, angered, and sad?It was many many  years later, after I had gained more then a significant amount of weight that I even realized that somehow between high school and marriage, I had gained not just one, but TWO double chins?

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So then the games began (And I know MORE then one woman out here will know EXACTLY what I speak of)?

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?Smile Dawn, I want a picture? Cool, but can you raise the camera HIGHER then my face so that you are looking DOWN on me and my chin looks smaller??? Truly, this became my repeated response?Or holding your chin out at a ridiculous angle so that your face appeared smaller?

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In addition to that was my demanded right to be the first one to look at all newly developed pictures?Picking out the ones that did NOT show my double chin became a game to me?And more then a few pictures were destroyed in this process?

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So I am blogging about this for two reasons?

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First, my Brother in Law, Rick, the one who is a Marine and will be home soon, asked if I could go through my pictures and send him some for his retirement party?So this is what I did last night?Went through a rather large, unorganized tote of about 400-500 pictures looking for pics for him of us as a family?

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In doing so, I also pulled out some rather crappy looking ?Fat? pics that I want to post, or at the very least, hold onto?You know,  in case Oprah calls me and wants me on her show?You know, you gotta have the absolutely WORST pic of yourself should that happen, so the WOW factor is better when you walk out on stage!!!!

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Soo. I found this one picture of myself where my face is sooo incredibly round, and my neck is non existent?It looks like my shoulders just reached up and swallowed my neck, and left this blob of skin directly under my chin?Yep?A perfect picture of my triple chin?I show it to Steve, and he is frankly flabbergasted that its me?I think he has blessedly put that out of his mind, that I really truly was that fat?

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The second reason???

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Even though I have lost over 60 pounds, and I no longer hate having my picture taken (Quite the contrary, actually, you may have noticed!) But I am now, once again, obsessed with my double chin!!!

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I was fairly certain it had gone away?But NO!!!  I saw it in a picture this weekend?And I am ever so devastated?I mean, COME ON!!! Is it too much to ask for my chin to just be normal??

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I will take 5 pounds on my hips, if I could dispose of the one pound hanging off my chin?Okay, so maybe it?s not that bad, but it sure feels that way?

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I mean, how small must a person get before you lose a chin???? I mean, to me, it looks really really gross and disgusting?How can you lose so much weight and still have a double chin??

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Oh. Yes. Right?Because I am still fat?

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I keep forgetting that! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr?

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Well, buddies, I have resolved to ditch the double chin once and for all this year?BE GONE to you, my chin, I say! You are not WANTED or NEEDED around these parts?

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May you all be blessed with only one, very beautiful, chin today!

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YUCK! I think this is about 2002…Holding my niece Lilly…This is gonna be my Oprah pic!!!

 

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Truly, no lie! It does shine bright here in Ohio today…I watched the extended forcast and it does look like things are gettnig better weather wise for us here…This makes me ever so happy!!

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I am back on track this week with both my morning run and my lunch time walk…

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My weekend was pretty darn good…Talked the husband into going shopping with me on Saturday since my friend bailed on me, and we had fun…We bought beer!! And beer is always fun!!

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I worked out hard both days, using new machines, and boy o boy, does my body feel it today…My butt, hips, thighs and knees are feeling the pain of a differnt new workout today…This is good, tho, right???

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Yesterday I attended the birthday party for my little niece…I did have the dreaded hot dog, but other then that, I wasnt too bad…ANd I worked out really hard prior, so I am hoping by weeks end, the affects of the hot dog are long gone!

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Thats about all for me kids…A rather boring Monday morning blog, I suppose!  Sorry about that!!!

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I did talk to my sister in Japan on Sunday…We talked for two hours!!!! Egads! Holy high phone bill, Batman!!!

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Its all good tho…I am ever soo excited to have her coming home…They dont know when yet, because, well, its the military, and with the military, you dont know anything until the very last minute, but she hopes to be home by the third week in June!!! YAY!!!

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Have a great week all!

?I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They’re quite aware of what they’re going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don’t tell t hem to grow up and out of it
Where’s your shame
You’ve left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can’t trace time

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I’m going through?

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~David Bowie (Changes)

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Well, buddies, I suppose it should be self evident, this blog is about CHANGES!

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I will start off by saying I HATE CHANGE?Period. Never have I been one to be very adaptable or flexible. Trust me. I have had more then one boss tell me this?And the worst kind of change? The one that is forced on you?UGH?I hate that the most?When this happens, I react like a caged tiger?I bare my claws and I growl and squeal, and fight like mad against it?

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The good news???

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Once I get it through my rather stubborn skull that the change is what it is, I usually make peace with it, embrace it, and 9 times out of 10, I am happier with the change then I was before?So why then does she fight it, you may ask???? Well, I think it?s out of habit?

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So, I reflected this morning on the fact that once again, I could not get on my beloved elliptical?So I had three options facing me. I could go back home and come back later. I could sit and wait for Mr. Joe Cool to get off my elliptical, or I could just jump on a different, new machine?I chose the later?I got on the stair climber?

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Now. I have used this before from time to time, but really, its like soooo 1980?s!!! And truly, I can do 5 minutes before I am dying?(For anyone NOT familiar, it repeats the motion of climbing flights of stairs?) But I get on, and I say to myself, ?Self, set that timer for 10 minutes and suck it up??So I did?And you know what? I could feel DIFFERENT muscles being used?And it wasn?t as bad as I thought it would be?Here is a case of a forced change, that ended up good. I now think I will add 10-15 minutes on this outdated machine to my elliptical workout?And I did eventually get on my elliptical to complete my work out?

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Buddies, I have faced a lot of changes in the last year?Some are obvious?Weight?Two different jobs?Marriage?Letting go of some old friends, and being blessed with some new ones?Some changes were internal, not able to be seen?Changes I made to myself?

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Some I fought with everything I had in me, because at the time, I thought it was the right thing to do?Some I just accepted and moved on from?

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I am getting ready to face yet another huge change. My sister will be coming home to Ohio, from Japan, after 7 years!! My older sister?My best friend. Truly. I have not seen her in three years?And we have not lived near each other for 7?This will truly be an adjustment for all of us?But this is a change I am anticipating?And welcoming?

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So why this blog?

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Well, I have changed a lot this past year?I believe, over all, for the better?It was rough getting here, but here I am non the less?I am not even close to the person I was at this time last year. And I am glad?

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I found out this week that a very dear friend of mine, doesn?t really like, nor understand, the new me?The changed me?She wants the old me back?She doesn?t understand that she no longer exist?And I don?t think she is dealing well?So now I must decide if this friendship is worthy of fighting for, or if I have simply out grown the friendship?The decision makes me sad today?

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Because in my heart, I know the friendship itself, actually died off a while ago?I know in my heart, that I have not been there for her, nor she for me, for a long long time?And this makes it hard to get a friendship back on track?

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I truly don?t know if I even want too?I have many other pressing relationships in my immediate vicinity that DO warrant my time and attention?People who HAVE been there for me for a while?These are the people I want to be with these days?My husband?Two very special friends of mine?My beloved family?I want to give these folks what is left over of me, after I have gone about my daily deeds?

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You know, I recently asked my husband, with some sadness, because our marriage has truly been tested this year in a number of ways, ?Do you think we will ever get back to what we once were?? and he replied ?No, Dawn, we wont. We can?t go back?BUT, who?s to say that what we were, was the best thing? Maybe NOW is the best we will be?? And he is right?None of us know what changes will force other changes and what the final outcome will be?

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And I am ever so happy to report that he has been firmly re-established as my best friend, and I do think we shall come out of this tunnel better and stronger then ever before?This was a change that needed to happen?

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So perhaps it is time to just let this go?Maybe I will be blessed with some new friends soon, that will make up for the few I have lost along the way?Maybe my sister coming home signals the start of yet another wonderful chapter to my life?I simply don?t know my friends?I guess the decision just weighs heavy on my heart today…UGH…

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I thank you all for reading this rambling tale?And I am glad I have gotten to know soooo many of you out here…

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Stay strong, stay healthy, and stay true to who you are?

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Have a GREAT weekend guys and gals!!!

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Love-

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Dawn