Rain drops keep fallin on my head…
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Happy Thursday buddies?It is raining bucketfuls here in Central Ohio?I was awoken in the middle of the night by my terrified Australian Shepherd mix named Annabell?She escaped out of the spare bedroom and scratched at our door until we let her in! She was terribly frightened of the thunderstorms?Silly dog?
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I of course, let her sleep with me then, and all was well?Except I myself was then awake for two more hours?Let me tell you?TV. between the hours of 1 a.m. and 3 a.m. is crap!! 
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Soooo?I am starting to feel mentally refreshed these days?(Is that a collective sigh of relief I hear from my buddies???) I know, you are all saying THANK GOD, she will now shut up about it all!!
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But alas, that is not sooo?
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Things are finally settling in my head?I feel more ?normal? these days then I have in a very long time?(Well, I use the word normal very very loosely!) 
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I have been working towards this for months, but it is only in the last few weeks where I have actually started to feel it?Sorry I pulled away from you guys for a bit?Just something I felt I had to do until I got my act together?I do hope you all understand?
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Things with my husband and I have finally broken through a bit?We have had some troubles for many many months?Mostly me, not him?Honest?But lately, I have started looking at him again?Really looking?And I sure do like him these days?And well, that?s good?We will be together 14 years in June, and, well, that?s a long time in my world for a man to stick around (Repressed father issues, sorry!)
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So things are looking up there?Finally?This is a huge huge weight off my shoulders and my heart buddies?Truly?He and I have been through sooo much, that it is truly amazing that we can still be best friends after all the crap we have wallowed through?And I am incredibly thankful he sticks it out with me?For I have not made it easy for him?(THANKS STEVE!!)
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Soooo. On to my weight loss?
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Kids, I am afraid to say I had a total meltdown last night. I have no idea why or how, but I went to one of my favorite Wing places last night, and indulged in my favorite wings for the first time, I kid you not, since last July?JULY of 2006!!! That is the last time I had a real chicken wing?See?I stay away from them as they are a trigger food for me?
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For some unknown reason, I decided to chuck my diet yesterday and went for the wings?And fries?And?
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It was bad?
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I ordered more food then I could even hope to put away, really?I only ate 3 of the wings, before I was full?And I ate a few fries, and about a quarter of a sub?I was full and miserable, and in the old days, I would have put it all away, I simply cant anymore?
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So, it wasn?t as bad as it could have been, but it was still more calories then I normally consume in a week, let alone one day?And when I was awake at 1 a.m., I was STILL miserably full?And I asked myself, after whining this week about how slow my weight loss has become, why I allowed that to happen??
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Well, here are my reasons?
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The equipment at my workout room is still broke?Going on a month now?So nightly, I have not been able to do my regular routine?I have had to switch to different things, and walks?Which granted, is still exercise, but it just doesn?t ?Feel? right to me?I am definitely a creature of habit?Love love love my structure and routine?When I lose it, all hell breaks loose!
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Second, I caught a really bad case of Spring fever, from a friend, who shall remain nameless?And I simply don?t want to exercise indoors as much when the weather is nice?Of course, today, it is not soo?
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I have been soul searching for many weeks now?About this weight loss?Reading your blogs?Comparing myself to you?Some of you have lost tremendous amounts of weight in just two months?Some of you haven?t lost anything at all in many many months?
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So I have been trying to figure out which group I fit in?Or if I am just my own group???
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From August to December I dropped about 24 pounds?Not too shabby?From January till now, I have dropped TWO?TWO POUNDS?Now granted, there was some severe re-gain and re-loss, but TWO pounds is the official result?
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So I say, WHAT THE HECK???
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Its me. I know its me?I just haven?t figured out how to fix it yet?
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This is where I am at today buddies?
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Thanks for listening! And may you all rock your weigh in?s and your work outs this week?
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~Dawn
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First let me say that I am really glad things are looking up in the marriage department, congratulations on making it to 14 yrs - you two have passed a milestone that is sadly becoming more and more rare. And about the wings, OMG, seriously OHMYGOD - not a chicken wing since when?!!! Ha ha, I, too, and addicted to them - garlic, honey, BBQ, oh yum, but unlike you, I have zero ability to abstain that long, heck, I can’t go a month w/o that indulgence. So, sugar pie, don’t be too hard on yourself for ONE night, I know it’s relative, yes yes, to you one night is a lot. But, I mean, c’mon, I have one of those nights like every month (if not more, actually, probably more…). And about fitting into some kind of weight-loss group, don’t even go there. Like you said, you are your own group. Can’t blame you for comparing - but this is your weightloss, your body, your calories, your exercise, your foods, why would the result be similar to anyone else’s?
You’re getting rain…we’re supposed to get a foot or more of snow!!! Aaarrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And you’re not alone…from May til about August, I lost 30 lbs, and since I’ve done the gain/re-lose and gone down an additional 2 lbs. And here I’m stuck again. So I can feel for you there. Maybe we’re our own little group!!!
And I’m still trying to figure it out!!!!!
Hey Girl, you sure have been thru some stuff.
I no the feeling about getting to know your sweetie again. I will be with mine 31 yrs in June, and sometimes he puts me down about my weight. Hey I still love him but can’t he just see what progress I am making??
Well I am only doing it for me and ME only.
He stuck with me when I got cancer and that has meant so much to me. It was just as hard for him to accept it as it was for me. But we both got thru it and he was there to help me when I got sooooo sick with the chemo. Plus when I lost all my longggggg hair and became bald, he still said I was beautiful.
Sometimes you go off your plan and I no you feel bad afterwards, but hey sometimes it just happens. Just get back on track the next day and it will all work out. Hang in there my friend. I no YOU WILL and CAN succeed. You have allllllll your buddies here to pull you thru it all…Have a great day….Huggs
I am so glad to hear that things are looking good again with your marriage for you. I know how that can be. My husband and I have been together since we were 14 year old children, going on 23 years now. We’ve had plenty of ups and downs. Plenty of times that I thought we wouldn’t make it through. But, it sure is nice after all that time, to look at him anew and feel such tremendous heart swelling love.
As far as the weight loss is going, it’s been really neat to see you go through so much soul searching, I always enjoy reading your blogs. You’re so good at pouring your heart and thoughts out here. I’m sure that it’s all helping you and that soon you will start to see the numbers begin dropping again.
Dawn you are such an inspiration to me and I love reading your blogs, whether you are venting or not. I know how frustrating it is to be “stuck” but you have to look back at everything you have accomplised thus far. Maybe the equipment being broken is a good thing- maybe it means you’re supposed to change your routine for a while. It could be that your body wants to do something a little different! I understand though, being a creature of habit myself. I can’t believe you went almost an entire year without some of your favorite food! I wish I had your determination. Stick it out- you can do this!
Great news on the marriage front Dawnie. I hope you find your way as far as the weightloss journey.
Great job on getting back on board with the marriage. 14 years is wonderful. I have only been married for 3 so if we make it 14 I will throw a party. Hey everyone has slipups on their weightloss evey now and again, don’t beat yourself up over it. And as far as what group you fall in I think we all jump around from one group till the next. I mean I only lost 30 pounds from August till week before last. Now I have lost 8 pounds in 2 weeks. I don’t get it. Anyway you are doing good keep it up you will get that weight off.
Dawnie, I think you are an awesome person. Although, we don’t know each other all that well. I am glad your marriage is getting better. That is always very stressful when it is not. Losing weight is one of the hardest things to do and succeed and I think you are a success!!
First of all chicky you have lost an amazing amount of weight and kept it off! That is so awsome! I am totally inspireed by your effort and will power! And to quote much repeated words…it always slows down tword the end. You can do this no matter how much time it takes. The occasional set back is to be expected. You will put yourself back on plan and keep moving right along..I have no doubts. You have a wonderful hubby and a great sence of humor.
And you know being a creature of habit has gotten you to where you are today. As far as the spring fever, go with it. They say it is important to weight loss to vary you exercise as well as your food intake to keep up weight loss. I beleive that. I range between 1000-1400 with an avarage of 1200 and though I am at the begining of the journey it seems to be working for me. So my advice is mix it up a bit while still staying on plan!
You rock!
I like the way you reflect about things. It always gets me thinking.
I can relate to the slowed down weight loss. I’m there too. With me, I know its ’cause I’m not working as hard. I just don’t seem to have the energy anymore.
Writing this to you helps. I’m going for a walk. thanks, take care.
Oh Dawnie.. I have not lost anything since December.. but everyone says I look skinnier.. So is the scale lying?
Have fun and indulge once in a while and WALKing is the best!
I’m right there with you, not at the same time of course, but I feel icky! About work. Not the actual work but the intersocial relationships. I need to revamp my whole attitude and I am determined to stay positive inspite of it all.
Sometimes we need to figure out what is going on with us, it is just that when the waters are murky, it’s so difficult, if not impossible.
Anyhow….about the dog. Poor Annabell, I am such a chicken when it comes to thunderstorms and lightning! I’m a mess when it comes to that stuff. Poor puppy!
Dawnie….I can clearly see that you are on a mission of self-discovery. Good luck and best wishes!