Dawn’s Weight Loss Journey

Happy Monday buddyslimmers?It is truly a great Monday here in Central Ohio?

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I am fairly certain that at some point this weekend, between Friday evening and Saturday morning that Body Snatchers, and/or Aliens snuck into my home and took the artist formerly known as Dawn and replaced her with the newer, improved 2007 model you now see before you?

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This, in my humble opinion, is better for everyone involved!! J

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Flashback to my GOALS for 2007?

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Number ONE: Continued weight loss?Frankly at this point, I have no idea how I am doing since I have stayed off the Scale of Darkness?BUT?I FEEL GREAT?I was working out on Sunday, and I kept staring at my reflection in the mirror. Steve says ?What are you doing?? and I say ?Well, I am looking at my butt, and it looks pretty damn good on this elliptical in these workout pants! I think I like my butt now!??Hah hah hah?Small victory!

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Also, both Saturday and Sunday were big food days for me?I don?t really stress about these when they happen, because they do, and I know I will recover from them?They are not frequent, so I can deal?

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I had steak on Saturday in the form of a nice dinner I made for my husband and I?And yesterday we enjoyed a complete ?DATE? day. Went to lunch, shopping, and to a hockey game?So I went into it knowing I was gonna eat things not entirely healthy?

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Here is the thing though. I really didn?t do so bad?Another small victory?I simply can?t eat like I used too?Even when I WANT to?I ate only half my steak on Saturday, and I didn?t eat much else all day?

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Sunday, I ate HALF of my burger?I was sad?I wanted the whole thing, but it wasn?t happening. I was already full and I HAD to leave room for bread pudding?(I bet you were all waiting patiently for that part to come in!)

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Here?s the deal. I LOVE BREAD PUDDING!

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I am with bread pudding what MOST women are with chocolate. It is my favorite dessert?I have traveled the world, the United States looking for the best of the best in bread pudding. Its not a HUGELY common dessert, so when I find it on the menu, I GO NUTS?Okay, I am already nuts, so lets say I go even NUTTIER!!

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The best one I have EVER had was in New Orleans at some little street caf? where it was DRENCHED in a delightful RUM sauce?But Sunday, I found my number two!!!

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It was a cherry/white chocolate bread pudding, and it was absolutely delightful. And I ATE IT ALL!! (Well, the husband helped) and I didn?t ONCE feel bad? WHY? Because, I have lost 61 pounds, and 9 times out of 10, I am good, on plan, and I skip dessert?So this one time, this one day, I was gonna LIVE?WOO HOO. It was worth it?And if I am up two or three pounds this week, I don?t really care. They will come back off and life will get back to normal?

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Goal number TWO: I am gonna make myself ?Right? this year?THIS my friends, is finally starting to happen. I feel soooo good about life right now, it?s remarkable. I have not been real excited about anything in my life for far too long?It has brought me, my family and my friends much sadness. I have DEPSERATELY tried to find it back?.But it has proved elusive?

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Well, this weekend, as I was cleaning, of all things, I found it. I FOUND my excitement! I had NO IDEA it was hiding on top of the very dusty and dirty Fridge!!!

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I don?t know how it happened exactly or why, but I started thinking of my future with excitement and general fondess. I have been truly blessed in my life recently and I had lost site of that?I have a WONDERFUL husband. A loving, close family, and the VERY BEST FRIENDS a person could have?How did I ever ever forget that????

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My husband and I had a delightful time on our date yesterday, and I am hoping that it is truly the start to a better year for us?We laughed?A LOT?And that has been missing for a while?

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Goal number THREE: I will find a job I am passionate about! Well, buddies, I cant share a lot of this with you yet, but things are looking up here as well. So keep me in your thoughts, today especially, as I have a very important meeting to attend this afternoon that could be the answer to this delima?

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So for me, life is good?2007 is gonna be a great year?I have declared it, so it must be true? RIGHT?!

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Thank you for being a part of it, all of you!!!!!!

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Dawnie

Happy Sunday Buddies!

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Hope you have all had a delightful weekend! Mine has been pretty stellar…

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I still havent weighed in…WOO HOO…Damn scale will NOT get me to cave…I dont feel AS fat as I did on previous blog, but it really is weird how much control the scale has over my feelings…

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I have absolutely no idea how well I am doing other then knowing that I am doing what I have been doing…Keeping my food intake at 1200 calories and working out every night…

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So I am hoping to see a loss on Wednesday, but am also preparing for a gain…YUCK…That will surely suck!!!!

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Anyway, I do feel the need to comment on Mary’s blog from yesterday…I too have a TON of  MIA buddies…And you do wonder where these people went…But I guess I feel a bit differently about the blogs then some people…

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I work full time, and luckily, I have a job currently where I can access the internet…This will not always be the case…So I do A LOT of my reading, blogging and commenting during the day, because evenings are for my chores, workouts, and family time…

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So I assume most of my buddies are in similar predictaments, so I guess I dont worry so much about people not commenting or reading my blogs…

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I guess what I am REALLY trying to say is that I appreciate the time that each and every one of my readers gives me in reading and or commenting on my blogs…I truly do…But I dont expect it…

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I get much amusement and encouragement from your comments…But I have always, ONLY, blogged for myself, as an outlet for my thoughts and feelings…Validation, if you will…And if I can help someone, just even ONE person by putting my thoughts and feelings out there for the world to read, then I feel even better…And I feel it is my mission in life, to do so…

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But I dont keep track of who reads and who doesnt, who comments and who doesnt, because not every blog every day from every person speaks the same to each of us…

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Nor can I truly respond to each and every blog on here…Just for kicks the other day, I checked out the buddy page…I hadnt been out there for a while, and at that time there were 6 pages of buddies on there who were “On line now”…Thats a lot!!!

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There are a TON of us on here now…And its just frankly too hard and too time consuming to get to everyone every day…

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So like I told Mary, I read EVERYONES blogs daily. I really do…But I just cant comment all the time. I do what I can, and if your blog speaks to me personally, or if I feel  you need a lift, or encouragement, or even a KUDOS, I will reply…Sometimes, if 10 people have already given you advice, then I dont, because why keep reiterating what they said??? Especially if I agree with them!

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So I guess I just wanted to explain how I see things and my system…

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I love you all!! And I wish you all much success today with staying on plan…

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I am off to work out…Then to lunch and shopping with the husband, and then off to an afternoon hockey game!!!! WOO HOO!!

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GO BLUE JACKETS!!!!

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Take care-

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Dawnie

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Week one report:

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Well, I completed one week of no weighing…Me and my army of one (Tammy)…Who I think is caving even as we speak?!?!

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At the end of week one here is how I feel…

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FAT FAT FAT!!!

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Seriously…I feel completely out of control, even though rationally, I have done nothing different this week…

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I know this is the scale speaking to me…

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So part of me wants to weigh in in the WORST way to just make sure  I am still on track…

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The other part of me says NO NO NO…Wait until the 14th (WOOHOO…Valentines Day! Show me the love! ) Just so I can see if I DO have a loss…

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If I do, then I know the scale is an evil little monster and my dependency must be broken…

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If I GAIN then I know that even though the scale is not always the BEST tool, it is a tool that I will need…

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Way to use myself as a guinea pig, eh????

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But I can tell you, just how I am feeling and how Tammy has reported feeling, I can tell you that it is TRULY an addiction and completely MENTAL…

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Because apparently we both feel fat and out of control!!!

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Thats about it for me today…My new pic is up, as you can see! There are others in my profile for your amusement…

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I am tired and crabby today because I drank TOOOOO much and stayed out tooooo late last night at my concert…Apparently, I am not as young as I thought I might be…SURPRISE!!!

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The show was AWESOME though and a good time was had by all…

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Take care buddies…

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I am gonna go take a nap!

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Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

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Dawnie

 

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Soooo many things to blog about today, and so little time! HAH!!!

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First off, I went to lunch with my boss yesterday and she did the most cleverest thing ever! I just had to share it!!! I even said when she was done ?Oooh, I need to blog about that!!!?

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So we were at Max and Erma?s and I was eating my favorite salad of theirs. And it comes with a breadstick?Normally, doesn?t phase me, I remove it and ignore it?But yesterday the breadstick was calling my name something fierce!!!

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So I eat my salad, and she must have noticed me eyeing that damn breadstick enviously? So I see her out of the corner of my eye, as she lifts a couple Sweet and Low packets?And I think to myself ?Why does she need those with her water????? and she proceeds to pour about 4 packets over the breadstick and then she rubs it in as well!!!

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I was like OH MY GOD!!! That was truly awesome! She said ?Well, I saw you eyeing it, and quite frankly, I was too, so I tried to find a way to make it not worthy of our attention?? and it worked! Who wants a garlic breadstick covered in sweet and low??? Not I?It was WONDERFUL of her to do an intervention with me?And I am gonna use that trick in the future!!! YAY for good bosses!!!

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Okay, Blog part Two!

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This morning I was FRANTICALLY looking for an old notebook of mine. I had written a few ideas in it last year about my upcoming 80?s party. (FYI. I am throwing myself an all out 35^th birthday bash in May with a Flashback 1980?s them! You are ALL invited!!!!!)

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So I head to the T.V. armoire?This is where Steve and I have the dreaded ?Junk Drawer?. It?s really bad kids?Once a year, we clean it out, and I have NO IDEA how it gets soooo loaded with junk! So I pull out the drawer looking for my notebook?

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UGH?It was a freakin mess?I found two UNOPENED bills from a year ago! Tons of magazines and even a stupid video tape that I have NO IDEA or recollection of ever receiving it?

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Did I find my notebook??? NO?(I shall keep you posted on that, as I know you all will lose sleep over it!)

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But I did find a Journal I started 3 ? years ago!!!! It contained my very first weight loss steps and how I felt at the time?It was CRAZY reading that!! I read it to Steve this morning over our coffee?We got a kick out of it?

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See, here?s the thing?I have recently gotten a little down with my rate of loss?I see some of my buddies losing 10-12 pounds after just 2-3 weeks, and I am like WOW!!!!! And I know we aren?t supposed to compare, but I do?We all do?

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Well, I read my opening entry and my follow up three weeks later, and in my first two weeks of weight loss, I had lost 9 ? pounds?By my 6^th week, I had lost 23 pounds!!!! That was remarkable?I had seriously forgotten ALL of that?I had forgotten how quick the weight comes off at first?I also forgot that I was doing so well and shortly there after took my first fall from my wagon?BLUCK?

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But here was an interesting note?At the bottom of the journal entry, week 6, I scribbled this note: ?I am hungry ALL THE TIME, and I don?t know if I can do this??

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I had forgotten how hard it was starting this journey?I hear some of you newbies talking and I am soooo not there any more that I have forgotten how to relate to you?Man?Do I ever apologize to you all?Because once I read that this morning, I remembered!!!

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It was DAMN hard?The hardest thing I had ever tackled?And I WAS hungry?Its hard going from ?Hey, let me eat whatever the hell I want? to NOPE? ?Can?t have this, can?t have that!?

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But what I hope you all get out of this blog, is I don?t feel that way now, nor have I felt that way in a VERY long time?My eating is soooo under control, soooo much a habit now, that I am rarely, if ever hungry, and I don?t ever feel deprived?

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So there is hope guys, and that?s why I wanted to share the story?I read my own words this morning and simply re-confirmed what I already know in my heart?I am no longer that girl at all, in soooo many ways, I have changed?

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So?Today?s theme song??? From one of my favorite bands, BLUE OCTOBER. I am seeing them TONIGHT and I am ever so excited?Have a great day buddies!

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?You see but lately I’ve been on my own.
Yeah one, but one by choice.
You see, that?s a first for me,
There’s only me, yeah there?s only me,
And now I realize for once,
It’s just me.
And I’ll find a way to make it,
There’s no one left to stop me.
Here I go.
Can we take it from the top?

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I’m gonna feel a peace in me,
I’m gonna feel at home.
I’m gonna make this cloud above me disappear, be gone.
I wanna feel a punch inside, my heart beat on the floor.
I don’t wanna hurt no more.?

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~Blue October (It?s just me!)

 

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So yes, I was inspired by both Madeliene?s blog today and Ken?s blog?

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First Madeliene?s:

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Truly, how wonderful would it be if there were an easy way? But you know what, there is NOT?If there were, America would not be in the Obesity Crisis that it currently finds itself. Period.

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I have said it before, and I shall say it again?There is no miracle, there is no INSTANT success?There is no short term diet here?

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You can not go into this thinking that, or YOU WILL FAIL?I am sorry, but that is the truth?

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You must make this a lifetime commitment, and your changes must be permanent?

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And yes, you will have to deny yourself things?If you don?t, then you will be right back where you have always been?

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You must make sacrifices and changes?Whether it be time for a workout, saying no to eating out three times a week, or turning away from the fridge when hungry?

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These are things you will need to do?These are the things you will need to explain to those who don?t understand in your circle of friends and family?You are gonna have to learn to say no?To them, but more importantly, to yourself!!!

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It is hard?Especially if you are just starting your journey?We do not like to deny ourselves anything here in America. We think we have earned and deserve that cheeseburger and fries?And maybe we have, but we also have earned and deserved the right to live a long healthy life?And to do that, the cheeseburger must be replaced more often then not by grilled chicken or fish?It?s a fact?

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Nothing good comes easy?NOTHING?People who take the easy way out learn nothing about the ride?I am a firm believer that if you work your ass off for something, you are certainly going to appreciate it more, and hold more tightly to it, fight for it, if you will, in the end?And you should, because you worked so hard to get there!!!!

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No, there is no easy way?And once you acknowledge that, and accept that, I can HONESTLY tell you, the journey gets easier?

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Which brings me to Ken?s blog?About weight loss being a full time job?He is right. I learned this very early on?It was so hard?Journaling, pointing, reading books, reading websites, figuring out what I could have, couldn?t have, how many points is this? Or that? How many calories do I need to burn? How much water? Its exhausting, and its time consuming?

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BUT?Here?s the thing?

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Again, once you accept the fact that it is indeed, another full time job, it gets easier! It becomes a part of your daily routine. You stop fighting it, you embrace it just like any other role you have?Wife, husband, mother, father, sister, brother, friend?

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We all wear many many hats and hold many titles?Lifetime dieter should be no different?It just becomes another part of who you are?And please don?t kid yourself?It will be for life?Just like any of those other titles?

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You don?t stop being a parent once your child turns 18, nor will you stop being a dieter once you reach goal?

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It must always remain back there in your head, or you will eventually be right back where you started?

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Take care buddies, and I wish you all the best success today!

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Dawnie

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“Success and failure.  We think of them as opposites, but they’re really not.  They’re companions - the hero and the sidekick.”  ~Laurence Shames

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Good morning from below freezing Central Ohio?Brrrrrrrrrrrrr?It is sooo chilly here I had ice sickles hanging off me nose this morning!

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Well, it?s Monday and that usually means that I am crabby?

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I am not so much today, because I achieved three small milestones this weekend?Small and insignificant to you guys, I am sure, but to me, they are a bit worthy of mentioning?Especially since somehow, all three of them occurred within a 24 hour period!

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First, I reached my 100^th buddy this weekend! (Tammy from Brittish Columbia!) I was ever so excited about this, because I sooooo love getting to know my buddies and connecting a bit?I would love to meet some of you some day (Not you Scott, you?re too scary!)

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Second, and this is the best one, on another website I go to (A beer rating site) I reached my 100^th beer?Now, to some folks, this is absolutely NOTHING?There are folks out there that have tried over 2000 different beers?So 100 is nothing to them?But to me, it was pretty darn cool. Because I am new to beer tasting and beer appreciation?And I have only been a member of the site for 2 months?

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So to try 100 different beers in two months, well, its kinda cool?I got a little Gold Crown by my name now that signifies to other folks that I am now worthy! And a silly little song played! It was sooo cool I had to call the husband in to see how cool I had become?(In my own mind!)

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And then, I get on the computer this morning, and there is a message for me from ebay (Yes, I love ebay!) I have earned a gold star rating on ebay for my excellent feedback (100% positive feedback) this was followed by a certificate I could print! HAH! What a hoot! All because I bought a pair of jean capri?s last week?WOO HOO!!!

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So, even though its Monday, I feel like I had several little lifts already this morning! I hope that?s an indicator of the great week ahead!

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OH?And for those of you who watched the Super Bowl Half Time Show, you DID notice that Prince, the Purple King of Pop, sang my song??? I think he did that JUST for me?I am sure of it, actually?Just a brief little version of ?Baby I?m A Star?, but it was enough?

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Someone on another site I visit said he sounded washed up?I respectfully disagreed?While his first song was a bit rough, I think the rest of the show went well, considering it was in the freakin RAIN?I saw Prince a few years back in Columbus with his Musicology Tour, and let me tell you, that man is FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR from washed up?And if that?s what washed up sounds like and looks like, then I wanna be washed too!!

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Thank you Erika for sharing in my Prince adoration!

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Have a great week buddies!!!

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~Love ya,

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Dawnie

 

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Good morning buddies! I am ever so excited today!

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I had the whole morning to myself today, and MAN…It was rather delightful! I feel so very GIRLY!!!

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The husband left early in the morning to volunteer at our animal shelter, and I decided I needed the morning off! WOO HOO!

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So I got up, drank my leisurely cup O coffee, read some blogs, headed to the workout room for a KICK ASS work out…Then I headed off for a shopping expedition!

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Can I just say, it was a total party for one!!!

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I was absolutely desperate for some work pants…I work in a “Business Casual” environment, and NONE of my pants were fitting anymore…So I went out and shopped like a mad woman this morning…

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All size 14s, thank you very much!

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The truly amazing thing is though, as I was going through the jeans, I pulled out a size 20/22 (My starting size!!!) and I could NOT beleive I used to wear them…Truly…I couldnt relate to them at all, yet I wore that size for a long long time…TOO long…

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It made me VERY VERY grateful to be a size 14…I sometimes forget that… As I seem to be always on a quest for more more more…UGH…

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The gooder news is (yes, I know thats NOT a word Scott!) I think I will be out of my 14s in the next 10 pounds…I hope, anyway…I had a hard time finding some today that fit me well…

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Alot of them were baggy in my legs, prooving once again that me legs are getting smaller thanks to my workouts! (Yes, I tried squeezing into a 12 and it was NOT pretty!)

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So now I am off for a bit to color my hair with my lovely husbands help, I shall become the Blond Godess I was meant to be!!!

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In honor of the Super Bowl and one of my all time favorite artists, I will leave you with this theme song today:

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“Hey, look me over
Tell me do u like what u see?
Hey, I ain’t got no money
But honey I’m rich on personality
Hey, check it all out
Baby I know what it’s all about
Before the night is through
U will see my point of view
Even if I have 2 scream and shout

Baby I’m a (star)
Might not know it now
Baby but I r, I’m a (star)
I don’t want to stop, ’til I reach the top
Sing it (We are all a star!)”

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~Prince (Baby I’m a Star)

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Okay?I made a huge error last night and I have no idea why?

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Mindless habit, I think?

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I had what I often refer to as a ?Grazing? day or a ?Hey, I gotta tapeworm? day?I was hungry ALL DAY LONG?No?Strike that?Not hungry, but felt the need to mindless munch all day long?

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At first, I did well, I munched only on healthy stuff?Carrots, Light popcorn, etc?But for some reason, when I got home, it got worse! I worked out very hard, had a normal dinner, and was still feeling the munch monster?

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Now, it is important to note that in my old world, I did this about once a week?In my new world, it happens, oh, MAYBE once a month, even less?So it IS getting better?

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But even as I did it, I knew I was doing it. I looked at DH and said ?Why are you letting me do this?? his reply? ?Well, sometimes we all just have those days!? This, my dear buddies, is why he was fired from being my weight loss buddy months ago! Love the guy to death, but geesh, I needed an intervention!

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So as I ended up my night with two beers and a bowl of cereal (YES, I did!) I was feeling absolutely FULL and miserable?

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This feeling is what woke my happy ass up at 2 a.m. by the way?My body can no longer handle overeating, and that?s precisely what I did yesterday. I went over by about 300 calories.

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Now, in the grand scheme of my life, that is not earth shattering, but in the small confines of my new world, it was enough to make me rethink and regret my actions, as I stumbled to the medicine cabinet to grab the Alka-Seltzer!!!!

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So?Hard lesson learned last night for this chick?

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Now, there was one highlight to the evening, and of course, I will end on a POSITIVE note, because, well, that?s what I TRY to do! It is Friday after all?Geesh!

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So I am laying in bed, in misery, mind you, and have my hand on my chest?Not my belly, but between my rib cage and my belly?And it felt weird?Hard! So I said to the hubby ?Give me your hand, QUICK!!!!? So he does, and I make him feel it too?Buddies, it is yet another muscle?One I have NEVER felt in my life?I am far from having Abs of steel, but I do believe, I am getting some ab muscles for sure?Add those to the belly muscle discovered a few months back, and well, you have one delighted Dawn!

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Take care and have a great Friday kids!

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Theme song for today:

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?I’m Fergalicious (so delicious)
My body stay vicious
I be up in the gym just working on my fitness
He’s my witness (oooh, wee)
I put yo’ boy on rock, rock
And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got?

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~Fergie

 

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These are the things I do not care so much for about myself:

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?  I am impatient

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?  I don?t like my eyelids

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?  I have a fierce temper

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?  I am too sensitive

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?  I take things too personally

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?  I don?t like my belly

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?  I HATE my hair

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? And I deplore my severe case of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)

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These are the things that I like about me:

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?  My eyes

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?  My nose

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?  My heart-It?s softer then first assumed

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?  I like that I volunteer to help animals. They can not speak, so I speak on their behalf

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?  My loyalty

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?  My resourcefulness

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?  My sense of humor

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?  My stubbornness

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?  My quirkiness

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?  I like that I often do not lead, and I do not follow, I simply do my own thing

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?  I like that I am not boring or ordinary

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?  I like my legs

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?  I like that I act and feel much younger then the numbers say I am

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?  I like that I am not afraid to be myself in a world that often doesn?t allow us to be so

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?  I like my determination

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?  I am a hard worker

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?  I am a survivor

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?  I am fun

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The first list, I shall work on, always?The second list far outweighs the first list, and I shall focus on that as I continue on my life?s path?

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The point of this blog:

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All of us, on the outside, are as different as night and day?Different skin color, different upbringings, different beliefs, values, religions, sexual preferences?On, and on, and on?

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But inside, we are more alike then we could ever imagine?We all, inside, have fears and insecurities that we must conquer in order to survive and thrive in this thing called life?

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Theme song for today:

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?We are all the same
Human in all our ways and all our pain
There’s a love that could fall down like rain
Let forgiveness wash away the pain
And no one really knows what they are searching for
This world is crying for so much more

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We believe
In this love?

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~Good Charlotte ?We Believe?

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