A blast from my past…
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Good Saturday morning Buddies-
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I kind of hadn’t planned on blogging today, but was inspired to do so, so I thought I would blog quickly before heading to the gym and then cleanning my condo…
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Lets face it…Blogging is funner then BOTH of those activities! 
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So here’s a little story to share with you…
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It should come as no surprise to you all that I am kind of a myspace geek…I love it, and have been able to reconnect to several childhood friends due to the wonder of the world wide web…
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So last week, I get a big kick in the gut, when I was contacted by a very very old friend of mine Mark…
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Now Mark was one of those friends of mine who was kind of always around, yet somehow, always in the background…Does that make sense???
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He was actually the best friend, of MY best friend Derrick…
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Derrick was my first “male” best friend ever…I had known him for years through his sister Tracie…But when I was 19, somehow or other, I gave him a ride home from my girlfriends house, and we became inseperable for quite some time…Truly, he was my best friend and only my friend…We had some wicked good times together…
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Well, often, I was the only one in the group that not only drove, but had a car…So I had to always cart these folks around…So when Derrick and I would go out, Mark often tagged along too…
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Derrick was killed in a car wreck in October of 1996 at the age of 21, and I havent seen Mark since then…
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Soooo…on to happier news…And the point of this rambling trip down memory lane…Mark and I reconnected last week…And how truly bizarre it was for me to see that this little boy has somehow become a man…How does that happen, really???
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We have emailed and chatted and what not, and truly, it has been delightful reconnecting…But the most amazing thing he said to me was “I love your pictures…You are absolutely beautiful, but then, I always thought you were, even way back when…”
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Now, I dont share that because I am on an ego trip…I share that with you because it gave me pause for reflection…
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So I was talking with my husband Steve this morning about the irony of that…
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I never noticed him “Way back when”…I never noticed a lot of boys back then, because I never thought I was all that cute, even back then…Even though I was…When I look at pictures of me back then, I feel incredibly stupid for not realizing my potential at that time…
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I think I mentioned in a previous blog once that I have FELT FAT for as long as I can remember, especially in high school…Never dated much, never had many boyfriends…You know the story…
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So to hear him say that after all these years, well, it just made me wonder…I wonder how many people we did affect, unknowingly back then…I wonder how many people looked at some of us, liking us, but not knowing what to say or how to say it…How many of US had crushes we were afraid to let anyone know of…
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Its kind of funny when you think about it…
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And kind of sad to think of all the missed opportunities we probably created because we were soooo hung up on what we THOUGHT we were…
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Anyway, it was rather interesting…
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And I am glad I took my trip down memory lane…But ever the one to look forward, I have decided there is no point in wallowing in what I didnt know back then…
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So I am going to try to carry that knowledge with me through the rest of my life and just pay a little more attention to the details that surround me…
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I have wasted soooooo many years being someone I am not. Being in a body that never seemed to “Fit”…I am soooo tired of wasting time…It is far to precious…
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So I am movin right along…I am gonna remember the past, because its important to do so, but I am going to look towards the future with renewed enthusiasm as to what it will bring…
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Take care buddies and have a wonderful weekend!
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Dawn
Good Saturday morning to you also! Have a nice workout at the gym. Take care.
Great blog Dawnie. Unlike many people on this journey I was my heaviest in high school and have thinned out with age, what I call, aging like a great wine theory.
My toughest time when it came to believing in myself were in high school and college. It took a lot of hard work but I’m at a better place and looking at the future with enthusiasm is key! So right, always so thought provoking Dawnie, what would we do without you?!?!?
Dawnie my Darlin..
See I told you.. sexy NEVER left!! we just had to remember that we have it.. and you are quite the catch.. I am sorry to hear about your friend.. But hey at least he is in a much safer and happier place now.. Glad that myspace can help ya reconnect.. Trust me it does that for me to..
Have a blessed day!
Interesting thoughts Dawnie… I met up with a couple of girls at my last class reunion that had crushes on me and I didn’t know it.. Of course they were really really not cute back then.. And well they weren’t to cute at the reunion either!!! LOL
So maybe it is better that we don’t know about some crushes!!! Anyway this was a thought provoking blog!! Good job!! Have a great workout and I hope your cleaning goes well.. And have a great Saturday too!
I hear ya, and had a similar experience a few years back. One of the guys from high school told me I was the prettiest girl in our class. I was still having a hard time believing it til Micheal went with me to my 30 year high school reunion. He grabbed someone’s annual, paged through the pics of my graduating class, then said yeah, the guy was right.
It took confirmation from my husband to make me believe it, and that’s only because Micheal is not one for false praise or flattery.
Isn’t that the great irony of life? Usually we never get to know the impact we have on other people’s lives.
I think we all have people in our past that had feeling for us that ran much deeper than we ever realized. I had a moment like that a few years ago when I ran into an old classmate while out with my girlfriends one evening.
I had a crazy crush on this guy Mike, we knew each other…but not that well. I remember that he wrote in my yearbook, in 1990 ’I don’t think you know how much people look up to you.’ After we got to talking the night I ran into him I mentioned it, and how sweet I thought that was and how I never forgot it.
He said that he wished he would have written what he was really thinking, which was that he had a serious crush on me. He said that he thought I knew because everytime I was singing in a show in school, he was always there. I almost cried when he told me that he could tell by the diamond on my hand that it was too late for that, but he would settle for a dance instead.
We danced to ‘Easy’ by Lionel Richie, everytime I hear that song I think of him.
I’m glad you got to have that moment too Dawnie, it’s so heart warming and so very very good for the ego.
PS: You are very beautiful my dear.
Wonderful blog! I think that you are absolutely right. We go through life having no idea what kind of affect we have on others. You obviously affect others in a positive way, and not just because you are pretty. Have a great weekend.
Thank you for your booster.
Thank you for sharing so much of your self. Your blog was amazing!
Have a great day!
Thank you for this beautiful blog!! What a great blog and yes, very enlightening as well!! Doesn’t it feel wonderful to reconnect with people from our past? We grow into such different people than we were, or some of us don’t grow at all. Something similar happened to me when I reconnected with an old crush this Summer. Sometimes, when I reconnect with people from the past, things somehow make sense. You know, our present makes sense.
Sometimes we wonder what if….only to realize that God was always looking out for us.