Dawn’s Weight Loss Journey

Happy Monday Buddyslimmers of the world!

Well, it has arrived…MICHIGAN week is here…Now to some folks, this is no big deal, but to a true Buckeye fan, this week is the countdown to the biggest game of the season… 

  And yes, yours truly can hardly sit still!!!!! It is going to be a mad, crazy week and Saturday’s game is going to be a nail bitter I predict!

Soooo. I am going to work out really hard this week and be on my best behavoir, because in addition to a Buckeye Party I will be hosting on Saturday, I am also going to my FIRST ever NHL Hockey game on Friday night! WOO HOO!!!!(I am very very excited about this, can you tell?????)

So I will have two tough nights this week, but I am going to do my best to make wise choices while still indulging in drink and some food! And still having a good time…

Other than that, its been a rather boring Monday…I have been reading your blogs, but havent had a lot of energy yet to respond!  I am working on it though, promise!

I hope you all have a wonderful week and I will check in later if something exciting should happen!

GO BUCKS BEAT MICHIGAN!!!

(Sorry for my Michigan dwelling buddies!)

~Dawnie

Good evening buddies!

A late blog for me, I suppose! Its 7 ish here in Ohio…

So I had my immediate family as well as the in-laws over today for a traditional Irish Feast and a slide show viewing of our trip to Ireland…

It went off wonderfully well…Everyone LOVED the Irish Lamb Stew and the Potato Leek Soup…The apple pie was divine…Not homemade, but YUMMY!!! (Yes, I did indulge in that one) But I worked out really hard this morning to prepare!!!

So here is the funny thing…My mom and her sister, my Aunt were here…And man…I now know where much of my weirdness comes from…

They both said they had to pee, and I only have ONE restroom (Condo), so they headed upstairs together, and I yell up, “Ummm, you might want to wait on each other!” and they turn around and say, “Oh, we pee together all the time! Sometimes we even sit on each others laps!!!” I mean, HELLLOOOOO…That is not a visual your daughter and niece wants! I mean it is NO wonder I am a messed up child! With that kind of freakiness on my family tree!

Anyway, the madness is over now…And I sit here reflecting on why I cleanned my house for two days straight and prepared like HOURS worth of food, for about 4 hours of fun, only to find I now have to clean my house again! Does it never end?!?

I did fairly well on food, the piece of pie was my only vice…I bypassed most of the other stuff, cause really, after cooking it, I really didnt want to eat it!

And I packed up every left over and sent them off to new respectable homes! i do not need that temptation in front me…But it saddened me to let the pie go…Really. I was WAY attached to the pie!

So that was my Sunday…Not much else to report…

Hope you all had a lovely weekend…

Love Dawn

Okay…

So, this really isn’t an X-rated blog…If you were looking for that, then please move on! But its gonna kind of sound like that I am afraid!

So, this morning I am laying in bed, alone.(DH was in other room, no we didnt fight, everything is cool, I just have a lot of trouble sleeping sometimes so I go in the spare room!)

And I wake up slowly, all warm and cozy to the sound of falling rain…And it was really really peaceful…

And my hand is laying on my belly and I am trying to decide if I should get up yet, or go back to bed…

And then I notice my hand, and my belly, and it struck me how different my belly felt! I mean, it kind of threw me for a loop that it was actually MY belly?!?

Now, as I have stated in previous blogs. I am clearly still fat. I know this…But I am really really starting to NOT feel fat…Which I think is about 90% of this battle friends!

So I explore my belly, my hips, my legs, my sides, all of it…Just checking everything out, and well, I was simply a little out of sorts afterwards, because for the first time in a long long time, I FELT OKAY to me!!!

Yes, there is still a slight fat roll. Yes, my stomach will NEVER look like a rock godess’es…But, I am really okay with that!

And so, I guess I just wanted to share some of that with you guys, because I have had a lot of positive remarks about my success lately on my blogs…And I have had a lot of emails saying “I wish I could…”

And what I really really need you to know, is that you can! Each and every one of you…

I have been fat, no, OBESE for over 14 years!!! 14 years of not fitting into clothes, snide, rude comments, 14 years trapped in a body that didnt belong to the person I felt I was inside…I have been there…Being out of breath after climbing one set of stairs, NOT being able to do more things than I could do based on my weight…Hiding out NOT meeting new people or trying new things…14 years MOSTLY wasted…

NOW…I dont do anything I dont want to do until I am ready to do it…I am as bullheaded as they come, let me tell you…But with that trait comes the flip side of it, that once I decide I want something, I go ALL IN, until I acheive…

(Yes, sometimes I do fail miserably, but if I fail, I fail in grand style!!! and it is rare once my mind is made up!) 

So I guess I just want you to know that I am no different from each and every one of you, really, and if one of us can do it, we ALL can do this…How we do it will differ, time frames will differ, success rates will differ, but we can all do this…

And I just wanted to say that this morning, on this cozy rainy day…I am not alone on this journey, and neither are you…With the help and support of all of you, I am getting to the finish line, and I hope very much that  you will allow me to help you get there too!

Have a great Saturday all with your friends, families and what nots!

Thanks for listening, and may you all do your own self exploration too, and may you embrace every flaw you find!

Love Dawn

HAPPY FRIDAY Everyone!

Hope you guys all have a ROCKIN weekend…

My Friday weigh in went extremely well and I am very very pleased…

First, I broke through to the next set of numbers!

Second, I am now only 7.5 pounds away from my 10 in 6 challenge for the wedding…

Third, I discovered today that my BMI has officially dropped over 10 points since I started…So that’s way cool…

I am down three pounds on the week which puts me at 187.5!!!!

WOO HOO!!! I am so very excited I could just explode…

OH. I also got my new cell phone last night and it is STELLAR…LOVE IT! It’s a pink razor phone…LOVE the pink!!!

And I know…I know…I am soooo not with it, but its my FIRST camera phone…YAY!!!

Now no one will be safe from my lense…I am a photo geek!!!!

Oh, AND…Last night as I was walking my dogs, my pants kind of slipped down over my hips!!! HAH! Because they are too big!!! Work out pants, mind you!!! TOO BIG…WOW…Who knew?!?

Here is hoping that each and every one of you have a joy of your own today!!!!

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!    ~Dawnie

Okay. Quiz time:

If you can tell me who said that, you get a gold star…

If you can tell me in what movie it is clearly quoted in, you get a big giant wet kiss on the lips!  (I know, just what you gals want, huh???)

Okay…So…Laughter is the theme of this blog…

Today is a beautiful day here in Central Ohio!!! Every day at lunch I drive to a nearby park to eat lunch and then walk…

Why does she drive, just so she can walk??? Well, because I kinda work in a not so safe area, so its better to drive to the park which is right around the block, but casually resides in an upscale neighborhood…

So…On my way to the park, I stop at a store here called Giant Eagle…I am in search of food, you see… 

So I stop at the deli and get some Turkey…And at the end of the isle are these little, umm, flatbreads…So I pick it up and I am reading the nutrition label and I am getting sooo excited, because they are sooo healthy!

So I go to the check out lady and she said “Did you find everything okay?” and immediately, I go into this long drawn out excited tirade about these flatbreads, and how excited I am, and how I cant wait to tell my “Buddies”!!!!!

And she is like “Your buddies???” and I try to explain to her that I have ALL these buddies that I share info with, and she litterally looks at me like I fell off the bannana truck!

But, undaunted, I head to the park…And I make my little roll ups and they are soooo good…They are cut into the shape of ghosts by the way, some Halloween left overs…So I kinda felt like I needed  a little juice box to make my lunch complete!!! I kinda felt like I was 6! WOO HOO for six year olds!!!

And then I get me shoes on, and me headset on, and I go for me walk…And I am jamming to PINK-MIZUNDERSTOOD…

And I am still carrying around this darn flatbread wrapper so I can read all the good stuff…So I am trying to walk, and I am trying to read, and I am trying to jam to my girl Pink, and as I am reading the label, I get so excited that I kind of stop and flap it all around and I start talking out loud, NOT realizing that due to the headset, that I am talking REALLY  really loud! Soooo…

These two joggers run by me, and at this point I am just stopped dead in the middle of the path reading my damn flat bread label and talking OUT LOUD about how excited my buddies are going to be!!!

Well…These two joggers look at me like I have lost my ever lovin mind! They are clearly thinking I have “Make beleive” buddies I must be referring too! And to see the looks on their faces, well…I admit…I BURST into spontaneous laughter!  

I couldnt have stopped it if I had tried. They sincerely thought I was a whacko talking to myself in the park (No comments from the peanut gallery please!)

Well, the harder I laughed, the crazier it all seemed…So I sat on a nearby bench…And as I was sitting there trying to compose myself, I swear, ABSOLUTE Girl Scout honor swear,  an acorn dropped on my head from the tree above…Which then made me laugh even harder as I tried to analyze why this acorn just fell on my head!

Was it a sign from God? And if it was, what did it all mean? Should I NOT tell my buddies about my flatbread? Should I NOT be in the park laughing? Should I have chicken or fish for dinner? Or maybe, it was just a damn clutsy squirrel trying to rob me of my delight!?!!?

So I get up to finish my day, and I stop by the pond to feed the ducks the remaining flat bread…And I can tell you for a fact that THEY LOVED IT!!!

So buddies, the moral of this long and rambling tale is…REMEMBER THE LAUGHTER…AND try “KIDZ FLAT OUT WHOLE WHEAT FLATBREAD” 60 calories per piece with 4 grams of fiber…YUM!!!!

Is it possible that the changes I have been striving for have actually started becoming habit????

Its really hard to believe, but I think my head has finally got it!! (And trust me when I say my head can be one scary ass place!)

Sooooo, Its no secret now, due to my rather large mouth, that I have had a fairly crappy week…

It is getting better, and thank you to those of you who have shown concern…I will survive (Insert Gloria Gaynor’s voice here!)

But here’s the thing…In all the times past…Even AFTER starting my weight loss journey, I would inevitably turn to food…I would fight it, but eventually, I would just fall off the wagon…Even if I wasnt drowing my sorrows in a bucket of chicken wings, I would still stop journalling or stop counting calories…And I ALWAYS stopped exercising…

But yesterday, and this is really HUGE buddies…I didnt think about food at all…I thought about exercise…I immediately went and exercised to ease my tension, frustration and sadness…And I exercised several times yesterday…Probably a bit obsessively, actually! (Who, her? Ms. OCD??)

Did it help? Well, not immediately…But in the long run, it will…I just know it…

And frankly, it didnt even hit me until today that this did not/has not derailed me!!! And I got kind of excited…Because it means that this way of life has now become a habit to me, and will be much easier to maintain once I get to goal…

So even though it sucked to have life intervene in my plans this week, I am almost…ALMOST glad it did, because it showed me first, how strong I am, and second, that this time is absolutely for real for me…I WILL GET TO GOAL no mattter how many damn pot holes I fall in…

And now…Please stand by for a very special thank you-

All of my buddies have been wonderful, as always, and your kindness and emails of concern have been soooo appreciated, but I have to give a really big loud thank you to Ms. Erika, who not only made me laugh yesterday, but also got wayyyy more than she bargained for when she asked me what kind of pothole exactly did I fall in?!?! HAH!!! YOU ARE THE BEST!!!

Take care all~Dawnie

Ummm. Okay…So Its really down and out in Columbus, Ohio, but that just doesnt sound catchy now does it?!?!?

Confession time:

I was not going to blog today. I did not blog yesterday. I had made up my mind not to blog for a while, and was even leaning towards staying away from here for a bit…

Why? Because I am having very very bad week…Not weight wise, but life wise…

And I felt it would be too much of a downer to come on here and wallow in my sorrows…But then I was reading Kari’s and Nikki’s recent blogs, and I realized something…

We dont always have to be positive all the time…

This weight loss journey, as with life, is stocked full of Ups and Downs…Lots of downs actually…Lots of pot holes and pitfalls…

And I bet every single person here has suffered at least one…

So I decided to come out here anyway…

Yes folks, I fell in another damn pot hole today. And it hurt…And for a minute (okay, maybe longer) I didnt WANT to get up…I couldnt see through the pain…

But I came out here, read blogs, checked in on everyone and I found myself relating to many of the stories…And I found myself smiling (ERIKA!!!) and I realized that pulling away from the support in your life is not good. EVER…

So here I am…Nothing spectacular to report, no poetic thoughts today, just wanted to say thanks to all of you for being around…

Dawn

Well, here it is Sunday morning, and I have just had another A-ha moment…So what does she do? She runs downstairs to share it with the world… She should probably STOP doing that, because the world probably doesnt really care!! Hee hee hee…

Anyway, I seem to be having these daily now, and I honestly dont know why…I have always been a reflective person, but seriously…I feel now I am having daily ephiphanies about life, love and the persuit of happiness…

Here is what I dont get…

I am still quite fat…By anyone standards, I am actually Obese…Not slightly overweight, not chunky, I am Obese. I HATE that word by the way… It just sounds…Well, it just sounds mean…

But here’s the thing. I dont really “Feel” fat anymore…Well, most days I dont…I still have my bad days, but the good days have finally started overriding the bad! And I just never thought that would happen…

Here are two of my “A-ha” moments this weekend:

First, as you know, I went out on Friday with my sis…We had more fun than two girls should have, and thats about all I will share with you there!  

But seriously…I went out, and I felt good. I felt cute…No, I felt really HOT…As a matter of fact, my husband asked me three times before I left the house about my jeans…(Yes friends, I think he was a bit nervous to let me go, but he did well) It was kind of cute actually…”Umm, are those new jeans? “No, dear…” “Ummm, how long have you had them?” “Over a month now dear”…”Ummm, you look really really good in them!” “Thank you dear…”

And off she went for her grand adventure…For the first time in ever, really, I didnt feel like the “fat” girl…Even though I clearly was…Especially sitting next to my tiny little sister…

I went out, I met a lot of nice, truly nice people. I found myself talking to both men and women, and genuinely enjoying just being with people…Laughing, interactting…My sister left me several times to go out and smoke, and I even enjoyed sitting by myself. The old me would have been mortified…The new me just used it as an excuse to start talking to the person sitting next to me…And it was just fun…It was fun to be looked at, to be noticed and to be talked to…And that was a big moment for me…

And now, this morning, I pulled out some items I picked up yesterday…I am really having a clothes trauma as of late…Nothing fits me anymore…FOR the better, mind you, but its really hard to find things right now, and unfortunately, my work has rules (guidelines if you will) about coming to work naked, so thats really NOT an option!

And as stated in a previous blog, I NEVER try on anything at the store…So this morning I start trying on things…Another size 14 skirt…Fits perfectly…I bought a 1XL shirt that does not…And I bought several other items in simply the XL size, as thats who I have been for the last 14 years…

Old habits are hard to break…Apparently, even though I am still fat, and well, Obese, I am no longer an XL…At least in most things, because every darn thing must now go back because they were too big, except for the size 14 skirt…

But I am still fat…I know this…I also know now more than ever before, that I wont be for much longer…I have turned the corner in my journey, and I am heading towards the end of the road…

It was quite a moment…The moment when you recognize that you are no longer the person you have been in your head…That moment you look in the mirror, or down at your body, and you say “oh, I get it now…She has changed…Inside and out”…That moment where you finally say to your old self, it was nice knowing you, and thanks for being there, but its time for you to go now, as there is someone else here to take your place…

So later today, I shall pack up my XL’s, and I shall happily take them back to the store, and I shall warmly embrace the girl I used to be, but I will fondly kiss her goodbye, and then I will warmly welcome the woman I am becoming…

Take care buddies and have a lovely Sunday afternoon whereever you are in Life or on your journey…

~Dawn

Happy Friday Lady bugs (And gents!)

I am very excited for today…

First, its FRIDAY!!!

Second, I get to leave work early!!! YIPPEY!!!

Third, I get to have lunch today with one of my bestest friends who is always excellent company and fun to be with!

Fourth, I get to go out tonight with my younger sister for some dinner, conversation, and some golly gee good times! We are going bar hopping for the first time ever together! Just her and I…VERY EXCITED…

Dont worry buddies,I will drink light beer and try to keep it to some degree of moderation!!

HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A SUPER WEEKEND!!!!!!

Love Dawn

Okay. First of all, how lucky are you guys that I am blogging twice in one day????

Thats a first!!!

But, this is a night for firsts!!! I had to jump on here and share…I did, I did…I am sorry! But my happiness does run over!!!!

So two weeks ago I ordred two new skirts and a top from JC Penney. Work clothes, because none of my “Business Casual” attire fits anymore…

I order on line of course…Size 16. Thats what I am currently…(I thought) so I get home tonight, and my clothes are here, and I am like WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY excited, because, its kind of like Christmas, you know…

So I try on the first skirt, and its TOO BIG!!!! So I try on the second skirt, and its TOO BIG!!! They are both adorable, by the way, but HUGE!!!! I mean, OH MY GOD…This has never in my entire life happened to me…They arent just a little big, they are way big…

I have to return TWO things because they are too big? I mean, what the!?!#$%!! This just doesnt happen to me…WOW…

So apparently, at least in skirts, I am now a size 14!!! I have honestly NOT been a size 14 since the year I met my husband…WAYYYYYY Back in 1993…WOW…So these skirts are going back, and I am re-ordering a smaller size…WOO HOO!!!!

Okay, thanks for letting me run off at the mouth…I shall now get off here and go to the gym to rock the elliptical a bit…

HAVE A GREAT NIGHT WHEREVER YOU ARE!!!!

Love-Dawn

Thanks for listening buddies!