Dawn’s Weight Loss Journey

OKay. So I was sitting here thinking…Trying to come up with a witty, charming, and oh so intellectual blog…But I fear I just dont have it in me today! I know you guys will be terribly disappointed!!  

So instead, I will share with you one of my more dorkier moments in life…

So last night, I was laying on the floor doing my stomach crunches…I dont know if thats REALLY what they are called, or if I do them correctly, but I basically lay flat on the floor and lift my legs straight up using only my stomach muscles to do so…

I have done this pretty much EVERY night for the last three and a half months…I can tell you, it hurts like heck, and my muscles are always sore the next day…I do four sets of 10 and then I will do four more and hold them for a count of 20…

MAINLY, because I dont want any loose skin…

I know, more than you ever could have wanted to know about my workout routine, huh???

So back to the gist of the story. I am laying on the floor last night, frankly, exhausted and not really WANTING to lift my eyelids, let alone my damn legs…But I did, I did…

And as I was doing it, just to kill time, I kind of felt my stomach…And lo and behold, I DO BELEIVE I HAVE A MUSCLE UNDERNEATH THE FAT?!?!?! I about died!!

I called out frantically to the Husband to come and confirm my discovery…And yes, he felt it too…Just below the last layer of fat lies a nice muscle waiting to emerge!!!! WOO HOO!!!!! We did a happy dance of joy!!!!!!!!!

Also, I found out that I have hip bones too!!! Two of them to be exact…Did you guys know that there are bones underneath the skin??? I dont think I have seen or felt mine since Jesus was a child, but I am happy to report, they do exist!!!

So…I have a long way to go, for sure, but how fun to discover parts of your body you never knew existed!!! YAY!

Here is hoping you all have your own discoveries very very soon…

I LOVE YOU BUDDIES!!!!!!!

Dawnie

Okay my little buddies…

I have a secret. On December 9th I will be attending a Celebrity Wedding in Chicago!

Okay, so it’s really the wedding of a CHILD of a celebrity, but still, pretty big deal…It will be a fancy smancy deal…And out of respect for the family I will NOT tell you directly who it is…

You are allowed to guess, however, and if you get it right, I will tell you, but not on here, privately in email! You never know what kind of crazies hang out in cyber world!!!  Hee hee hee…

Okay. So two months ago I ordered two fancy dresses on line, because we have been invited to the rehearsal dinner, the wedding and the going away bruch/reception the following day…All three things pretty big events…

I ordered the dresses sight unseen…They arrived, they were gorgeous, they both fit, but one BARELY…I looked kind of like a stuffed sausage!  But I wasnt concerned…

So this weekend, my DH made me try them on again, because he had never seen them on, and he said if they need altered, I must do it now…

Well, I am happy to report one dress needs altered severely!!!! WAY too big now…WOO HOO!!!!

The other dress, well, I no longer look like a sausage, more like a slim frankfurter!!! But with some clever tricks of the trade (Girls, you know what I mean) I should be able to make myself less sausage/frankfurter like by then…Disguise those fat rolls!

Anyway, overall I was pleased, as was DH…And I am hoping I can loose 10 more pounds by then! Its exatly 6 weeks away, and I think I can do it.

So thats my own new challenge. 10 pounds (OR MORE!!!) by December 9th!!!!

Say a prayer for me and KEEP ME IN LINE all of you! Do not let me fall off the wagon!!!! PLEASE!!!

Happy Monday all!!

Dawnie

So…Today I officially crossed one FEAR off my list…WOO HOO!!!

If any of you are familiar with the show “My name is Earl” you will appreciate that I felt just like him when I got to cross it off…

Anyway…To fill you in…(Because I know you are just DYING to know!!) Hah! I joined a walking club in September…

The New Albany Walking Club to be exact, and the gist of the group is, that they meet every Sunday morning at the Country Club (oooh la la!) at 7:30 a.m. and go for different measured walks. 3.5, 5, and some 10 mile walks…

Well, I joined, paid my dues, and have yet to go…

Yes, I had good reasons (NOT!!!) It’s way too early…It’s way too cold…I am way too tired and cranky! It’s Sunday! (Ummm, isn’t Sunday a day of rest???)

But this weekend I heard Nikki in my head asking me why I REALLY didnt want to go, and I had two other reasons…I was afraid of going alone. And I was afraid to meet soo many new people at once…THAT DAMN FEAR AGAIN…GEESH!!!

And I decided that was just not good enough to not go…Especially since I already paid and all…

Soooo. Your buddy got her butt up this morning, suited up in her favorite walking shoes, and headed out to join this group…

And you know what? She lived to tell about it!!!!

She walked 3.5 miles today, and was the LAST one to finish, and yes, she walked completely alone, but she didnt let that get her down…She wanted to quit more than once, but she kept going…She just put all of you in her head and her heart and she felt less alone…

SO THANK YOU ALL OF YOU…For helping me cross the first fear off my list…I estimate I have about 9000 more fears to go, give or take a few! Depending on how long the good lord wishes to keep me around…

Here is hoping that you all get to cross one off today as well!

Love~Dawn

First of all, THANK YOU for those of you who took the time to read my madness, and for those of you who responded, a very special thanks!

I suppose I should have thought some of that through before posting, but like Mindy said this week, sometimes you just have to get things out there, in writting before you can start working through it…And I like to think of this as a safe zone to do so…

So I am sorry if it was a bit deep buddies! I am… BUT YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST. YOU ROCK…ALL OF YOU and I am sooo glad we have each other…

And Nikki, you said it best…I want to enjoy the ride for sure!!!! No matter what my desitnation, I am definitely going to start enjoying the scenery more along the way, and stop rushing to the finish line…

HAVE A SUPER HAPPY FRIDAY BUDDIES!!!!

Oh…

P.S. I lost all three pounds of my vacation weight and am right back sitting at 190.5 now!!!!

I want to lose three pounds by next Friday!!! Lets see what happens! WOO HOO!!!

Well, I probably should think my thoughts through a bit before I start typing away, but for some reason, I really felt the urge to put these thoughts down tonight, so here goes…

My boss gave me a book to read today…Its a famous book, and many of you have probably heard of it, or even read it…Its about how to deal with change…And its called “Who moved my cheese?”…

Well, I read the book in under 20 minutes, and overall, the book was a bit silly. I mean, the basic principle of the book is one I really already know…But a couple of things definitely jumped out at me…This line in particular did:

“What would you do if you werent afraid?”

Well, I am sad to say, being the OCD personality that I am…I started focusing on that question…And I started making a mental list of all the things I would do if I werent afraid. Afraid of failure, afraid of rejection, afraid of success, afraid, afraid, afraid…

The list was pretty long…

This made me sad, because I like to consider myself fairly open to change and new experiences…And I thought I conquered my fears fairly well in life…

So to counter that list, I made another! (OCD!!!)  I made a list of all the things I have done in the last 2-3 years that I would  NEVER have done before…The things that I tried even though I was afraid…And there were some big ones on there…

rn
• Changed jobs after 7 years with the same safe company. rn
• Started losing weight after 14 years of hiding behind it… rn
• Started doing 5 and 10k’s even though I have never been an atheletic person rn
• Cut free of some “Toxic” relationships. rn
• Reached out and found some new friendships

Etc…Etc…Etc…

And this list grew a bit too…But not enough to ease my mind…Dont get me wrong, I am very proud of these changes, and stand behind every decision I made and fear I conqured…But its not enough for me because the things I am NOT doing due to fear still far outweigh the things I have done…

So here I am typing out here in cyber world to a group of strangers and sharing with them my OCD thoughts….It has all put me out of sorts tonight…

Because life is too short to let fears hold us back…I dont know when my number is going to be called, and when it is, I want to look ahead with absolutely no regrets about the life I lived…

So I have decided in the next few months, I am going to start tackling the fears on my first list…I dont know how yet or how long it will take. It will definitely be a work in progress. And I have no doubt that this is definitely the start of more and more life changes for me, that I have realized encompasses much much more then just weight loss…And that in itself is yet another fear!

Because often, when you embrace change, and start facing your fears one by one, you end up maybe having to leave the world of comfort that you have built. You might have to leave friendships, relationships, jobs, etc…And thats tough tough tough…

And some people in your safe zone simply wont understand and wont be ready to move forward or change with you due to their own fears… So there will be some tough choices ahead for me, I think…

And probably for some of those I love too, I guess…They will have to decide if they want to stay with me through my journey or do they want to stay behind where its safe?

But their journey is their own, and mine is my own…And thats about as simple as it gets, I guess…

I dont want to be afraid anymore...I want to brave the unknown face first, and take my stumbles as they come. I think I would rather walk into the unknown hopeful that something more is out there, then to sit back in my safe haven never having known…I dont want any more “What If’s?” or “If only I had known”. NO REGRETS…

No buddies, this doesnt mean I will be jumping out of an airplane, or running off to Vegas to join some cabaret show…At least not YET!

It simply means, little by little, I am going to stop letting fear overide the need and the desire to change, to move forward, to explore, to make life the adventure that it truly should be…

Because really, we never ever know…We can plan, analyze, and plan some more, but still, the outcome is rarely what we anticipated…As the book also said “The reality is almost always less scary then the fears you have imagined”.

“What would you do if you werent afraid????”

I think I am going to think about this line for many days to come…Thanks for listening buddies…

Have a great night and very sweet dreams to you all~

                                                                                                 Dawn

HAPPY HAPPY WEDNESDAY Buddies!

Hope you all are having a groovylicious week!

Mine has been stellar so far,  I must confess! I actually got right back on track MUCH quicker than I gave myself credit for…YAY ME…(She now gives herself a pat on the back!)

And its given me many pauses for reflection…

You see, I have been on this journey for a LONG time…Well over two years…Too long, really, if I am being honest with myself…

But I now know without a doubt, that this time its for real, and I shall reach the finish line…For me, myself and I, and no one else…

Because in times past, I would fall off the wagon…When life got rough, or I just needed a break, I would simply fall off…Seems I was always looking for an excuse to get off, as opposed to staying on!

Now, I always got back on, but I took my good sweet time about it for sure!

Then in July of this year, I really got tired of seeing people sprint by me to the finish line, so I recommited…And since then I have done a complete overhaul of my life, my brain, and my body…

It hasnt always been easy…And its not done by any means. No way…But I am sticking with the project I call ME!

And now, for the first time EVER, I was able to break away for two weeks, to enjoy my vacation, and NOT let that throw me from the train…

I HAD NO FAITH IN MY OWNSELF. I automatically ASSUMED I would fail, again…And that, my friends, is a lesson learned. We must give ourselves more credit than we sometimes do…And just because we have done something in the past, does NOT mean we need to keep making the same mistakes. WE HAVE THE POWER TO BREAK THE CYCLE!

Man, it only took me 34 years to learn that!

So I am WELL on track now this week. Have been eating well, logging my calories, and exercising like there is no tomorrow! And really, I have enjoyed it. Dont really miss the freedom I temporarily gave myself on vacation. Prefer the structure now, actually…

Why? Because I deserve it, and, well,  frankly, I am worth it!

Take care buddies. May you have a wonderful wonderful week whereever you are!

Dawn

Okay…So its Monday…My first “official” day back to work…

I weeded through over 240 emails in record time…And now I sit here and stare at the 5 piles of mail on my desk wondering which one I should start with?! And since I cant seem to pick one, I just keep rearranging them into neater, prettier piles! And in that way, I feel like SOMETHING has gotten done! 

And now I have decided to Blog instead of work, because, after all, this place has survived two weeks without me, whats another 30 minutes????

So…I will admit it here to you all…I am NOT a religious person by nature. I have a huge problem with organized religions that really is too deep to go into here. Born and raised Catholic I gave up on that religion long ago…And I mean absolutely NO OFFENSE to all the good Christians here…These are my thoughts and feelings only…You are welcomed to yours…

I do, however, consider myself Spiritual, and have a true beleif that something exists out there that is bigger than me…I have had too many blessings and strange coincidences in my life to think otherwise…

So, why is she talking about this now, you may be asking yourself…Well, my favorite little buddies, this is why…

My life in the last year has been one giant roller coaster ride (no different than most of yours, I am sure!)…Job changes, life changes, financial changes, marital changes, weight changes…You name it, I have had it…And I have dealt with it the best I could…And I am still standing…Wobbly from time to time, but still standing!

So sometime in the last week, something has changed…I have come to find out that SOMEONE is up there listening to me…Trying to help me…Who it is, or what it is, well, I am not even going to presume to know…

But I reached an all time low about a week and a half ago…Things were sooooo far out of my control that I could not see straight…So I had an open honest heart to heart with myself and to those above who help us…

Almost immediately, I felt better, and by mid day of the following day, things were just clearer, simpler…And I had an answer to a very pressing question that has haunted me for months…

So I knew he/she/it? was listening and helping me and I was ever so grateful…

But who knew that they also had a sense of humor????????? Did you guys know that???

So in Saturday’s blog, I asked for a swift kick in the ass…But I had NO IDEA it would come not only from you guys, my dearest buddies, but also from up above as well…

I had EVERY intention of going shopping today at my lunch as opposed to my normal 45 minute walk…I need new shoes, you see, and my walking partner is out this week, so it was very easy to make that excuse…

Well, I ran out of the house today without my purse!!!! I have no money, no I.D., no cell phone. NADA!!! So now, I am forced to go for my lunchtime walk anyway…On my own…By myself, in the cold…But thats okay!!! I needed that push and I got it…

Apparently, God decided I needed the walk, more than the shoes, or else he just doesnt like Payless!!!

Take care buddies and thanks for listening to my ramblings…

I think I just may be okay after all…

Dawn

Well my dear friends out here in buddy world…Here it is about 9 ish Saturday night and I find myself having a hard time getting back into my DIET groove…

I was afraid this would happen after my extended vacation…I hope I can rein in this wagon before I go completely over the edge! EGADS!!!!

I am hoping it is just some jet lag…I had intended to work out yesterday and today, but alas…My butt has not made it far from the couch today…Does taking a nap count as exercise??? How about walking up the stairs several times today to pee????

Seriously, I have taken three naps today! I just cant seem to get motivated…I have not eaten much thank God, but I have got to get to the work out room soon…Before those evil pounds start to creep into me…

I need a swift kick in the ass…Does anyone have a really hard boot and a strong leg to do so???

Well, I guess tomorrow is another day…And all I can do is try, try again…

Oh, here is a somewhat disturbing thing…

Let me know your thoughts please…So husband and I had a really good talk yesterday morning, as we have been experiencing some pretty severe growing pains of late…But we will celebrate our 12th anniversary next Sunday and are trying desperately to keep on keeping on, you know…

Anyway, he mentions that he is kind of happy that I am less focused right now on the diet…He said he kind of liked the me he saw in Ireland who didnt log every morsel, or count every calorie…He said he feels like I have been soooo focused for the last few months on my weight loss and my buddies, and all that jazz, that I have shut out everything else around me…

Hmmm…I am really not sure what to think about that…I agree with him to a degree, but also feel I HAD to do that to stay on track…But geesh…I dont want to shut out all those around me, I just simply want to lose this weight once and for all…And to do that, I must put myself first, unfortunately…And I need to surround myself with folks who understand a bit…Is that wrong??? Gosh, I just don’t know anymore…

Sooo…In addition to feeling very tired and lathargic, I have been contemplating his words most of the day…

I still havent come up with any resolution…Just hoping I can get back on track quickly…

Say a prayer for me buddies…

Good night to you all and pleasant dreams wherever you are in this time zone of ours!

Signed~

Your most sleepy buddy, Dawn

Well, I did it…I took the plunge!

I decided to just jump on the scale and get it over with…I wasnt going to until next Friday, but…

VERY HAPPY to report a small three pound gain from my travels…This is NOTHING! I can have that off by next week, and I am determined to do so…

WOO HOO!!!!

You do NOT even know. I was CERTAIN I would be up 10 pounds…I actually danced a jig this morning when I got off the scale…Much to my husband’s amusement!!!

Oh, and ummm…I made a bet with a friend that I WOULD gain 10 pounds, and apparently, I lost, so I now must pay up!!!!  I hate losing bets…UGH!!!

Good luck to you all on your weigh in’s this week! And I hope to report a big loss next Friday…

WHEW…What a freakin relief!!!

Dawn

Okay buddies, I am home safely from Ireland!

I missed you all and hope you were healthy and successful while I was away…I have much reading to do now, it appears, to catch up on whats going on with you all!!! Thats my plan for the weekend…

IRELAND was absolutely amazing. I wont say too much here, but if you have a genuine interest in the details of the trip, please email me directly and I will be HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY to tell you all about it. I could rattle on for days, so consider yourself warned!

I could never convey here in one little post how life changing and wonderful this trip was…Truly one of the events of my life…

I will give out this though:

Ireland is absolutely beautiful. We went ALL around to both the Republic and to Northern Ireland and therefor got to compare the two cultures…The people, regardless of where we were, were absolutely the friendliest people I have ever met…NO ONE was rude to us the entire time, and they really do, for the most part, seem to consider themselves our sister country…

I will say I have never in my life seen soooo many sheep or pints of Guinness! Seriously, cant walk an inch over there without hitting one of those!!!

I will say we used a tour service called C.I.E. International Tours. They were wonderful!! Top notch tour all the way around, and very reasonably priced…So KUDOS to them!!!!!

Well, take care buddies. I will not even discuss with you my weight status, as it is currently unknown!!! HAH!!

I did my best to walk walk walk while there, and one day even walked16 Kilometers with my husband!!! But we did eat more than I have eaten in the last 6 months. HONEST…Bread bread bread, and the dairy products over there are to die for!!!! Soooo…If I am brave, I shall weigh myself today…If I am not, then it will wait until next Friday when I have had a week to counter act the affects!

At any rate, I need my buddies now! As I want to lose 10-15 pounds by mid-December for a very important wedding we are attending!!!

Thanks everyone…

Hope to talk to you again soon!

Love-Dawn