Reflections…
Well, I gotta be honest. I was originally going to title this Reflections of a fat girl… 
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But then I decided that it wasnt very nice to call myself names…I have done that far too long…And honestly, even though by society’s standards, I am still fat, I really am seeing myself different than that these days…
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I dont want to identify myself with that title anymore…
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So, while I am by no means a thin person, I AM currently a thinner person in relation to the old days…
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Anyway, I digressed from my reflections…
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So…I was just out running some erands. Preparing for my trip to Ireland next week…And while I was at our local Meijer Store, the cashier there carried on quite a conversation with me…And not your typical, hey, welcome to Meijer, conversation…This was a, here is my life story, kind of thing…
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Which is really cool, but it put me in mind of another recent event which kind of freaked me out for a day or so, when at another local store, a gentlemen was very kind to me on a rainy day and offered to walk me to my car with his umbrella…(Seriously, freaked me out that he was so nice to me????)
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So I was reflecting on my ride home about this…And wondering why all of a sudden people seem friendly to me…
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And I really have no answers here, but thought immediately that I would throw it out here in cyber blog world for you all to analyze for me!
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It seems in the last few months that people have either found me more approachable, more friendly, more easy to talk to…Thats what I have been thinking…Oh, nice, I lose weight and NOW you talk to me???
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OR, maybe, prior to this, the fault was somehow mine…When you are a larger person, you often ASSUME people are judging you so you hide behind that and maybe subconsiously put off signals that scream STAY AWAY…So maybe thats why I felt people didnt talk to me as much back then…I dont know, maybe its a combonation of these things…
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And I am probably thinking way to much about it…I usually do! 
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Because I definitely find people are treating me different these days. I get more hellos. More eye contact. Many close friends have observed that I am friendly, outgoing, and positive…
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To which I ask, ME??? Are you really talking about me? Because in my head, I am still the shy fat girl, that no body notices…I am finding it really hard these days to see myself as these trusted friends now see me…
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Its a truly bizarre thing, you see…
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But its also very exciting…Because maybe I have been her the whole time, but she just couldnt see her way out to existance…
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So those are my Saturday morning reflections…
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Thank you for stopping by, and if any of you care to analyze this scary brain of mine, I sure would appreciate it!
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Happy Saturday! GO BUCKEYES!!!!!!
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Dawn
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Isn’t at amazing how a cruel comment from a stranger can seep into our self esteem and work it’s way through us?like a virus? We take on that judgement and carry it along with us through out our day. However caring expressions of love and friendship from the people in our lives we give very little thought to. How is it that we are so apt to believe the negative and question the positive?
I believe that we draw back from the universe what we put out. Dawn, I am sure that the changes you see from the people around you is a reflection of the pride and confidence you are now projecting. I believe that a person will find what they are looking for. If?we walk through life looking for confirmation of our belief that we are not good enough, we will surely find it. Conversely, if you live with joy, ?you will find that too. It’s all about perspective. I think that you are looking at your life now with excitement and anticipation of better things to come. That kind of thinking is contagious, and radiates from within you now. Enjoy your new found experiences, revel in it, and when the opportunity presents itself, extend that kindness to someone else.?
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Dawn.. I truly think that as you lose weight you gain confidence.. People see that confidence in you and people are drawn to it..? That’s why you are getting all the attention now.. You not only look better you feel better and people see that!!? I see that for sure in you and I’m very happy to be your friend because of it!
Ireland!?!?? I wanna go!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like Scott and Erika?said.? It’s all about self-confidence and self-esteem.??Your idea of subconsiously sending?’stay away’ signals has?a lot?merit.? But?it has more to do with the way you see yourself than with your size.? I used to see myself as being a ’secondary’ human being.? I didn’t think I was as good as other people because of my size.? I’m still very overweight, but after I finally started seeing myself as equal to everybody else, people started treating me differently, even strangers.? People see what you want them to see.? If you want them to see a bitter fat person, then that’s what they will see.? But if you want them to see a confident, self-assured, beautiful woman, then they will see that and react to it.
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I feel that same way many times.? I think the more we exercise or do positive things like that, the better we feel about ourselves and we see the world in a much brighter light.? All of a sudden we are more open to people and they notice that.? They’ve always been there, we just never gave them a chance, even though we may not have known it at the time.? It feels like the world is more accepting towards us when in reality we are more accepting to the world.? I’m glad its working out for you!? I feel good now and have a more positive energy that others can see!? Congrats on the 49 lb weight loss– I hope to follow in your footsteps!!
I’m 100% on board with our writer, Erika.? It’s a new vibe you’re sending out.? YOU’VE LOST 49 POUNDS!!? That has to have affected you and your subconscious.? You’ve got to be carrying yourself taller, looking at people in the eye and smiling at them, right???? I’m sure you are……this has a deep impact on people and that’s what you’re perceiving from others now.? ENJOY!!!?