The Tale of Me and Mr. Scale

Me and Mr. Scale used to be ever so close.

You might even say we were BFF’s…

We had a standing date…Every Friday…Neither of us wanting to disappoint the other, we ALWAYS made time for our date…

For so long we got along so well that we would even through in a “Quickie” here or there…Usually mid week…Just a little touch base to see how each other was doing…

This was our relationship.

For a very very long time…

Then a few years into it, Mr. Scale started overstepping his boundaries…

He started telling me what I assumed were just lies…

Our dates became fewer…Once every two weeks…Then once a month…Then ever so slowly, once every few months…

“What do you MEAN I gained 5 pounds?? How dare you…”

Over time the lies grew bolder…And more frequent…And I couldnt tolerate it…

How could I have a healthy relationship with Mr. Scale if all he did was lie to me??

So I severed my relationship with him…

Sure.

I knew he was there. Always waiting patiently. Watching me from afar. Hoping and praying that I would rekindle the relationship.

But I was stubborn. Unable to admit he was right. And I was horribly wrong…

Our connection ran deep…So of course when I headed to Florida he came with…But I stuck him in a corner and barely looked at him…When I came back to Ohio, he followed me here too. As any good friend would…But still…I would not crave…

Then came a moment of self reflection…And the humbling thought that maybe I was the one who had lied…To myself…And to him…Maybe he was being what a good friend should always be…Truthful…Even when that truth hurts…

So in October I reconnected with Mr. Scale. It was both a sad and a joyous reunion. He was happy to see me…And I felt good reconnecting with him. But I did NOT like what he told me…Still…It was good to see him again…

For he has always been such a good reflection of where I am at…

So together, he and I, we met every two weeks…Easing back into our relationship…And the results were great…

He was soooo happy to tell me shortly before Thanksgiving that I had lost 10 pounds…I think I saw him smile when I jumped up for joy….

Then the holidays came, and because our new relationship was so tentative, I kind of forgot about him again…It wasnt intentional…Not at all this time…It just WAS…

So last week I saw him there…Standing by the closet door…Watching me…Waiting…

And I knew I had to do it…

So I embraced him…Only to discover he was broken…Sick…No energy…He was unable to talk to me…I thought “Is this a sign from God that we are not meant to be?? That I am not ready to hear his truths?”

No…I needed to hear him again. I had to know what damage the holidays had done…I assumed the worst of course. I always do…I was certain I had gained 20 pounds in the  two months…

So I got him fixed…He just needed some juice…

The next day I promised to meet him in the morning…And he told me the truth…7 pounds…7 pounds from Thanksgiving till this week…

“Okay” I said…”I hear you and I know what I need to do now…Thank you old friend…”

I promised to see him again by weeks end…

And I kept that promise…

His reply? “2.5 pounds”…LOST…I was down already 2.5 pounds in less than a week…

I knew then, as on some level I have always known…That those who love us the most have the hardest job in the world…To love us and support us unconditionally, while also being called upon to be honest, truthful and loyal…

Mr. Scale has been all of that…He has taken more than his fair share of abuse (I mean, come on…I started out at 250 pounds…How would YOU feel having me stand on YOUR head???) LOL…

But every week, hell, every day he sits there…Ready to tell me the truth whenever I feel I can handle it…

I have tried it with him. I have tried it without him. And frankly, no matter what his truths are, I do better with them than without them…

So…

Here begins yet another chapter in the life and relationship of me and Mr. Scale…

Thank you, my very loyal friend…

Just a little different…

So, this time around, I am doing things just slightly different…

I have tried this before, and kind of lost it…But this time it appears to be working better…

Perhaps its because I am in a better place…

But I am trying to be VERY aware of what I am eating. WHY I am eating. And what I am putting in my body…

I truly TRULY want to be healthy. The weight loss is just a by product. For me, its more about gaining my life back in the best way possible…

So about four months ago I started shopping local, buying more farm fresh items from local farmers. More organics. Less processed food. Healthier and humanely killed meats…Etc…

I shop more often, for smaller amounts, so I waste less…This is really working for me…

I am trying hard to buy ONLY what I need for the week for my lunches and dinners, and then I go to the store again on Sundays…

I also have an incredibly bad habit of finding a food I love, then eating the hell out of it for months on end, until I am sooo sick of it I never want to eat it again…I am trying to NOT do that this time around…I rotate my fruits and veggies and my favorite finds so that I dont get burned out…

And suddenly I have found myself REALLY enjoying food again…And not in the way I used too…I used to just shove shit in my face because I was hungry…

I am still journaling, because my buddies know I am a HUGE fan of the food journal….If you dont have one, GET ONE…LOL…

And I am STILL counting calories…BUT…And this is the weird thing…I am not hung up on them like I used to be…

Used to be if I went over by a calorie I got depressed and mad at myself…

Now, because almost ALL the food I consume is healthy, I am not as concerned about that stuff. I pack my lunch bag FULL every day of fruits and veggies and healthy proteins…Egss. Chicken Breast. Yogurt. Light cheese.

I am not a 100% yet…Because quite frankly, its expensive to do this…But I think my food is now roughly 50% healthy, organics, natural…

I would love to be 75% by Summer and 100% by years end…

Now, I cant avoid processed food all together…I just dont think thats realistic. Unfortunately processed food is EVERYWHERE…But I can drastically reduce it for sure…

So thats kind of where I am…

Not really doing the scale yet regularly…Will probably ween that back in next week…I am actually excited about that…

I am feeling really good about my journey this time…Alot is different and I dont know exactly what or why, except that I took a TON of time educating myself this time around and gettinga plan that works for me…

Oh, and my newest fad??? I am totally addicted to these things…They are like my crack I swear!!!

http://www.specialk.com/cereal-bars/chocalate-pretzel/

YUUUUUUMMMY…90 calories…LOVE it!

Take care buddies and much success to you all!!!!

You gotta know when to fold ‘em…

In any game you play…Be it work…Be it home…Be it in relationships…Or with weight loss…

You’ve got to learn how to play the game in order to survive…And part of that is knowing when to bet…Knowing when to fold…Knowing when to just walk away…And knowing when to go all in, gambling it all, while hoping like hell you hold the best cards….

There is skill involved, a healthy dose of luck, and perhaps even some divine intervention…

I am great at going all in…Guts and courage I have a plenty!!! But, I am not always so great at knowing when to fold and walk away…

Admittedly…I am stubborn and hard headed…(I know, shocking!)

When I started my journey 6 years ago, I thought it was a done deal…Attend a few Weight Watchers sessions…Lose 65 pounds, and WAHLA! All my problems are solved!

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh…Not so much!

As many of you have found on your journeys, while you shed pounds, you often shed other things…Layers upon layers of self discovery await all of you on this journey…Sometimes you like what you discover…Sometimes you dont…

Sometimes the whole process just throws your universer outta wack…

Thats what happened with me…Somewhere along the way in my weight loss journey I decided to rebel against “Labels”…

Now, I should say I have never been fond of labels of any kind. HATE when people lump a group of things together just to put a label on it…I have always felt that life isnt really all that simple…Not so black and white…

So about three years ago I rebeled against every title I had…Most importantly my title of “Wife” or “Steve’s Wife” I didnt want to be her any more….I didn’t want to be “Steve and Dawn” or “Mrs. So and So”…

I felt sooo tired of titles…I didnt want to be “Fat”…

I wanted to be Dawn…And sadly, at the time, I wasnt even sure who SHE was…I just knew I had to find her, and all my titles felt heavy…So I had to escape…I was suffocating…And I felt my life depended on this…

I had all this change going on inside me and outside of me…Fat dropping away revealing parts of myself I had never seen…And I wanted to keep them all to myself. I didnt want to share my discovery or my new self with any body…

I didnt want to be a “Sister” or a “Friend”…I just wanted to be me…

So of course, what did I do? I accidentaly aquired new titles along the way…I found myself “Somebody’s girlfriend”…

And that suffocating feeling just kept eating at me…I felt like I was in a vicious circle….

So a three year battle insued of me fighting my way from every title I could…Lots of running…Lots of hiding…Lots of hurt…Lots of depression…Lots of analyzing…

And finally…

Growth…

Sometimes it is slow in coming…But it eventually gets here…

I decided in December to try my hardest to make 2010 a great year. I knew it would be hard. I had/have been in a pretty big depression for over a year….Untreated of course because I am stubborn and felt I could turn things around on my own….

Started in October with getting my diet and food back under control…Exercised…And little by little the clouds clearred…As the new year approached I decided to shed my title of Girlfriend…

How on earth can I be in a healthy relationship right now when I cant even keep myself straight most days? I cant…I was being selfish…It was not fair to me or to him…

This I DO know for sure…You are no good to anyone if you are sad and unhealthy…For how can you love ANYONE if you cant even love yourself???

You cant…And you shouldnt…So I shed that title…And as hard as it was…I have to say it is probably one of the best things I have done for myself in recent years…

In the last few weeks I have started climbing out of my depression at a wonderful pace…I feel HOPEFUL for the first time in a long long time…

I want to make this the year of ME. As selfish as that sounds to some, I know in my heart its what needs to happen. I need to put myself first and get myself right in mind body and spirit. I want to focus on my health. My weight. My mind. I want to start volunteering again. I want to save money, eliminate my debt, advance my career, and over all, just spend some time getting to know ME for once…

And somehow, over the last few weeks as I began to make the changes neccessary to accomplish these goals, I noticed something…

I was losing the game of Me vs. The Titles…

Because the simple truth is, you can not, under any circumstances, escape all your titles…

Sure, here or there you can let a few go…But almost surely, new ones come…

From the day we first enter the world, we have them…

I was a daughter from the moment I came to be…I was also a sister…I was also a niece and a grandaughter…

Later I became a student…A friend…A best friend…A co-worker…Eventually a girlfriend..And yes, a wife…

Titles titles titles…

I have realized I can not win this battle…And my energy would be much better used if I applied it to a battle I CAN win…Which is claming MY LIFE back for MYSELF…A healthy happy life…

So for now, I am foldin this hand…And I am walking away…

But not in total defeat…

I played as hard as I could for as long as I could…But I am also smart enough to know I was losing…The battle, and even pieces of myself along the way…

So one month into the new year and I feel truly wonderful…Happy? Not yet…But definitely content…I laugh more now…I act sillier now than I have in a long time. I am logging my food religiously. Eating healthy and enjoying it. I am two weeks into my NO EATING OUT CHALLENGE and I am doin super…Havent caved at all…And I am halfway there…

This WILL be my year because I have told myself it will be…And I dont want to let myself down…

Frodo had his ring…And I, my treadmill…

So my quest for a treadmill continues…

I kid you not…I feel like the the Fellowship of the Rings here…

But instead of some cute little Hobbits and dashingly handsome elves, I have just me, two useless dogs and a boyfriend in my fellowship…The fellowship of the TREADMILL…

I quit my gym in December because I assumed I would have a treadmill shortly…Umm…Not so much…

Since the end of November I have quested after the elusive treadmill..

First, it was my fault. I had to save money and research brands. Decide. Etc…

Then I did actually buy a treadmill and later had to return it to Wal Mart…Which then led to my newly declared lifetime ban on Wal Mart. Seriously. I used to be the occasional Wal Mart shopper. But after 7 days and 32 phone calls trying to get my money back from a transaction that THEY messed up, I am done. Sorry all you Wal Mart lovers out there. They suck. Really. They have totally lost their concern for customer service…

Okay. Moving on…

So now January is ALMOST done. I have the money saved and in my account and LITTERALLY burning a hole in my pocket…I WANT MY TREADMILL…

So then Sunday I stumble across a used one on craigslist…I had avoided buying used becuase I couldnt find a decently rated one and didnt want to buy a used crappy one…(Side note…if you ARE looking for a treadmill or elliptical I HIGHLY reccomend visiting www.treadmilldoctor.com He gives some straight up reviews!!!)

So I find a one year old USED treadmill. Good name. Good reviews. For HALF off the price of the same model new. I was stoked. Called the guy, he is right around the corner from me. I was going to save about 300 bucks because this one was already put together, no delivery fee, no set up fee…

I could then take ALL my saved money and buy a washer and dryer (The other items I am desperately saving for!)

Monday night he emails me and says he has decided NOT to sell it…

GOOD GRIEF!!!

So now my plan is to go back to Sears Outlet on Saturday to see what they have on the floor…

Then today, at work, someone mentions to me that we get a huge discount at sears through a business to business discount service. So I call the lady today…She is gathering up some quotes for me on both the treadmill AND the washer and dryer, but typically speaking the discount is USUALLY about 20% off of the wholesale price…

Which is really kind of cool…

So I go to see her tomorrow after work…

And god willing…I can have me a dang treadmill by the weekend…

You can have your damn quest Frodo…For this human is HOPEFULLY done with her quest!!!

Why do we always want what we can not have??

So just under a week ago, I decided to challenge my self to NO EATING OUT FOR 30 DAYS.

Nada.

No coffee. No vending machines. No fast food.

And I meant it!!!!!

In additon to that, this was my first official week back from the holidays…Back to my food journal. Back to 1200 calories. Back to healthy and lots of organic eating.

I am not gonna lie. The first two days were ROUGH. It seems no matter how many fruits and veggies I ate, I was still hungry. I felt like I had a worm on Monday and Tuesday. I just couldnt stay at 1200 calories. I think I had 1300 on Monday and 1450 on Tuesday. Not great, I know, but I learned a long time ago when you are hungry you need to eat, or in the end it will cause a binge of massive proportions…

I now think this was just my system once again readjusting…

 Because by weeks end I felt fine, and on Thursday and Friday I barely reached 1200 calories and was more than full…So weird how that happens…

This is a funny side affect though of my challenge…Why is it that once I issued my challenge, do I now seem to crave fast food ALL DAY LONG. Seriously. I dont eat it alot, but now that I know I CANT have it, I want it!

I saw an Arby’s commercial the other night and almost started salivating…Went to Target last night and had to pass Starbucks and it took everything in me NOT to get my Skinny Vanilla Latte…God I love those!

So I feel really good…I havent started back on my exercise. Thats next on my llist. But the food is falling in line nicely.

For any of you following my treadmill saga, I still dont have one…I am close, but dont have one yet…LOL…I am sure I am overanalyzing it to death. I just need to buy one and be done with it…

Well, hope you all have a great successful weekend!!!!

Take care buddies!

A big old dose of tough love…

And a whole slew of emotions…

So I am at work on Thursday and I get a text message from my sister that says “Hey sis…Not sure if you knew, but I was admitted to the hospital yesterday for chest pains”

So my very first emotion is ANGER followed closely on the hills of Frurstration!

Seriously. My sister is in the hospital and NO ONE thought to call me on Wednesday?? I was home ALL NIGHT.

So I call my mother and give her a nice old slice of my mind. Granted. Right off the back she apologizes for not calling me. So I kind of forgive her, but come on. I am my sisters only sister basically. We live an hour a part. She is 40 years old. I want to know whats happening!!

Then the fear sets in. And I start to worry about her. I get the updates. Blood pressure through the roof. Dizzy spells. Chest pain. EKG is abnormal. Blood work is abnormal. Fun time.

Then about two hours later my mom calls me at work to tell me they have decided to tak my sister in for a Catharization. Now. I KNOW its a fairly standard procedure, but I cant help but start to worry. My sister is NOT healthy…And my father died at the age of 57 from a very similar scenerio. So I leave to go to the hospital and be with my family…

So, to make a very long story short, the catharization showed no blockage…And back to the Obstervation unit she goes…

Then a doctor pops in.

A nuerologist. Buddies. I dont know if she was put there at that precise moment for me or my sister to be honest. For she did her test and then came right out and addressed the pink elephant in the room.

My sisters weight…

My sister has fought her weight most of her life. Just like me. But she did MUCH better for much longer than I. She lost 110 pounds back in 2005 and kept a lot of it off for a long time…But she started gaining about two years ago…Then, this fall, she had a hysterctomy, and in the last two months, has gained 25 pounds!!!

The doctor feels the sudden weight gain is the culprit…

She says when you gain or lose weight rapidly, it hurts your heart…Your body has to adapt to rapidly to those changes…And it puts stress on your organs. Your lungs. Your heart.

So my sister ends up in tears because the doctor pretty much tells her that losing weight is no longer an option…Its a must. And, well, lets face it…None of us want to be told that, right??

So Doctor leaves. Sister is crying. Her husband is getting frustrated with her. Her teenage daughter is trying to comfort her…And then I speak up…

I mean, you knew I would, right?

I grab her hand, and I look right at her and say “Now Shel…You didnt REALLY need a doctor to tell you you were fat, did you??”

My niece gasps “Aunt DAWN!!”

And I look at her. I look at my sister. I look at my mom and say “Listen. Its hard to hear. Trust me, I know, but lets face it. YOU ARE FAT. You have a fat sister. And a fat mother. And if dad werent already dead because of HIS fat, I’d tell you you had a fat dad…”

And I have tears in my face as I look at her and say “LOOK AT YOU!!! You are 40 years old. Hooked up to heart monitors. You already have kidney disease and are on a Cpap machine to breath at night. YOU ARE NOT HEALTHY and its no longer a choice for you to lose weight. ”

It was rough buddies. I was crying. She was crying. But in the end, I spoke the truth out of love and concern for her life and she knew it.

I have already lost my dad before I was ready. I dont want to lose my sister too. Because my mother gave up on herself long ago, so I am certain she will soon be gone. She is morbidly obese and a severe diabetic and does nothing about either…

Why is it soooo hard to tell the truth?? Its not like she doesnt know she is fat. Heck, I see it myself every day in the mirror. You know??? Why sugar coat it. Why baby her?? She is now fighting for her life…This isnt for vanity. This is for her life. No need to pussy foot around if you ask me…

It was a HUGE eye opener to me as well…

I HAVE to keep fighting. Or I will end up like my dad. Dead. Or like my mom and sister. Sick.

Either option is really not acceptable to me…I’ve got wayyy too much to do…

So as sad as I am for my sister and the battle she must now fight, I am SOOOO glad I was there to see it. To hear the doctor. To talk with her about weight and obesity and how hard it is on a body.

And I had a VERY successful week…

I am on day 6 of my NO EATING OUT challenge. And even while at the hospital I didnt cave. I brought my lunch into the hospital and ate what I had packed that day…

I am now more motivated than I have been for a very long time.

I am 37 years old…Every day I am given is a MUCH better gift than a damn chicken wing…Its really soooo not worth your life people…Nothing tastes that good that its worth giving your life for…

Challenging Myself…

Well, I have never been much for challenges here on buddyslim.

 I am not sure why, really…

I think for me, they just have never held much appeal…I feel like it puts more pressure on me, and inevitably, I let myself and my “team” down…So for the most part I have stayed away from them…

I know they work for many, but I could never find the motivation in that form…

But last night, after a very strange few weeks, I have decided to issue a challenge…

To myself!!!!

I looked at my bank account on Sunday and was appalled…Due to some late nights, a lot of stress, lack of time, no groceries, etc…I ate out, or picked up food a total of SEVEN times…OUCH!!!!

Now…

That included fast food twice. The deli at work twice. The grocery store twice for pre packaged food from their deli, salad bar, and one “Casual” dinning experience.

Seven times and nearly a 100 dollars spent!! Thats my bi-weekly grocery bill!!! Easily!!!

I dont care how you cut it, that is appaling…

To be fair, I do NOT do that very often, but the fact that I did it at all is rather annoying…

So yesterday I took myself to the store. Stocked up like crazy, then on a whim, forced myself into a challenge…

For 30 days I will not eat out at ALL.

NOTHING.

NO FAST FOOD. NO DELI AT WORK. NO VENDING MACHINE. NO STARBUCKS. NO CASUAL DINING. NOTHING OF THE SORT…FOR THIRTY DAYS!!!!!

The weekends will be hard, because its easy to be out running errands and then just pick up something to eat…

And, to be honest, even though I really dont eat out a whole lot, when you issue a challenge like this, suddenly, you feel you need to go out every night!!! But I beleive I can do this…And I bleive it will be the perfect “cleansing” I need…

I was back on plan today 100% and it felt great…

So day one down…

Only 29 more to go!!!

A lesson in listening…

So two weeks ago, on a total whim, I decdied I was going to do the Hocking Hills 2010 Winter Hike.

This is a 6 mile hike through 4 State Parks. Rough terrain. The hike is held regardless of weather. Rain. Snow. Ice. Its a go.

Now, I have done 6 mile walks before. On pavement. And even those push my body to the limits.

So I kind of knew this one would NOT be a breeze…But I was ready for the challenge.

Now…Ordinarily, I consider myself in pretty decent shape…Even for a fat chick…

I work out fairly regularly and am pretty active. Normally…

However, this winter has been exceedingly cold and snowy here in Ohio, so I have not really worked out much in the last two months…

Still…

I felt it was time to see what my body could do…

Now, as previously mentioned, the last time I attempted this walk, I was 16 years old…And that time I ended up in tears because I was hurting so bad…

Folks…There is a HUGE difference between walking on pavement…And walking on a path, up and down, through woods, on snow, ice and mud…

So we did the hike…The scenery was absolutely gorgeous…The pace was pretty steady…And I was surrounded by about 3500 other hikers…

We made it to the three mile marker, and actually had to quit…We had an injury in our group…(NOT ME!!) and she just couldnt go on…

I was actually okay with this, as my body was hurting…

And for once, I listened…

Yes. I probably could have pushed it…

And finished.

But, my knees were hurting bad…And my body was telling me to stop…And this time, I listened…

So when my friend, at the ripe old age of 33 said she couldnt go any further, we all agreed to stop half way…3 miles was still an accomplishment…

So today I wake up…And my calves are sore…My feet are sore, and over all, I can tell I used a lot of muscles yesterday…

I am not miserable by any means, but my body is telling me it was used yesterday.

And that makes me happy…

But what I DONT understand, is I ask my BF Brian how he feels…He who NEVER works out…He who has NEVER gone hiking…And he says, “I feel fine”…

I say, “Nothing hurts?? Not even a little??”

“Nope”

And I am a little perplexed…

Granted. He works on his feet all day long, as Manager at Home Depot. He walks back and forth all day long. But still…He is not a tiny man…

How can this be?

I truly dont understand…And I am even a bit frustrated to be honest…

I dont understand how hiking could NOT make you use different muscles than working…

But anyway…

The walk is now history…And although I didnt get to do the full 6 miles, I did 3, and I feel okay about that…A great way to kick off my winter…And hopefully get myself back on my weight loss journey firmly…

So I urge you all to test your body’s limits…And do things you THINK you can not do…But please…When your body whispers back…Make sure you take a moment to listen to what its saying…

Cause damage to your body could set you back months or even years…

To be or not to be…OR…

Exercise…To do or do not…

I think there might be a misconception in the world as to why some people exercise…

The basic mathematical equation behind weight loss is VERY simple and frankly, not really debateable…

You must expend more calories than you take in.

Period.

There are no magic beans.

There are no short cuts.

You can pop every pill you want…Follow any diet you want…

But the concept behind EVERY diet is the same regardless of what label we plastered on it. Even bariatric surgery reduces your ability to take in more calories. EVERY diet can work. EVERY diet will work.

If YOU follow it strictly…FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE…

Yeah…I hear ya…That seems to be the point where we all kind of struggle…

Now.

You CAN lose weight by merely exercising and NOT changing your diet.

AND

You CAN lose weight by merely dieting and NOT exercising

I have seen it happen and know it to be true.

But I am a firm firm believer that to be completely FIT and HEALTHY you must have both.

Notice, I did not say thin.

Exercise is not merely a weight loss tool.

It is a way to completely re-shape your body.

I know this to be a FACT because I lived it.

I was never really a fan of exercising. And I will never be. But for me, it is a necessity.

Have you ever watched a documentary on the human body? It really is a masterpiece. It’s a machine of wondrous proportions doing things for us we cant even fathom.

Why would we treat it any differently than any other wondrous machine we own???

It is a necessity for me, because at my best, I felt the best when I was exercising. And NOT because I exercised and then went out and ate a burger. No. Because when I exercise I feel empowered.

Exercise was NOT an excuse for me to go eat more…Exercise, as crappy as it was some nights, was a way for me to give back to my body in the only way I knew how.

I feel every muscle in my body moving. I feel my body shifting and changing. It clears my mind. It clears my soul. And I feel strong and fit. My heart feels better, my lungs feel cleaner, and I can almost feel the strength growing in my muscles.

There was a time when I had no ass. That’s right. I was flat cheeked…

Over the course of time, by using my elliptical, I got an ass. A very nice one at that. I very lovingly refer to my elliptical butt in several of my blogs. When you battle most of your life against your own body image, finding something you are proud of is a rare moment indeed.

I was proud of my elliptical butt. And while it might be slightly buried right now under a layer of fat, I know its there and will resurface in due time.

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes. That will be my ass…LOL…

Consistently exercising over the last six years of my life has allowed me to complete one 5k after another and even a few 10k’s.

I can go for weeks without exercising now, and then get right back in the game with just a brief adjustment period.

I can honestly say, even at my current weight, I am healthier and more fit than my “Thin” friends. I know this because I leave them in my dust when they exercise with me whether in the gym, on a 5k or a hike through the woods.

Thin does NOT equal fit. And that is a HUGE GIANT misconception amongst many.

So yes. You can sit on the couch, behind your computer, day after day, and achieve great weight loss by merely doing nothing but restricting calories…

But are you fit? Are you truly healthy? Your heart? Your lungs? Maybe…Maybe you are…But the science behind it says probably not…

And yes…You could spend 4 to 5 hours in a gym every day…And achieve a body that’s like a machine…But how realistic is that for MOST of the world??

Its not…

There is always a middle ground…

In weight loss, religion, politics…And in life…Aiming for somewhere in the middle…Taking the best of both worlds and combining them…That is where its at…

How nice would the world be if more people tried harder to meet in the middle than by declaring themselves owners of their own land and be damned if anyone thinks different…

The world is not so black and white. Not by a long shot. Sure, it would be easier if it were, but, well, there is a whole lotta gray in there!

I think when subjects like this come up I get frustrated for several reasons.

First, I am a defender of your blog being your blog and you have the right to say or not say whatever you want…Even when I disagree.

But within that right is also the right to social responsibility.

I believe along with being honest to ourselves and others. Being true to our morals and our beliefs. We must also be aware of who may be out there reading…And its not so much WHAT we are saying but HOW we are saying it.

Yes. People read what we write. Who knew, right? LOL.

I read some of these blogs that go into rants or raves about exercise. Certain diets. Pills. And I am dismayed. Not by your views, because I hate some of those things just as much as you, but its how your message is being delivered…It makes me sad. And disappointed.

I don’t WANT someone to always tell me I am right. Or pat me on the back. Or think that every little thing I do is magic. (Now that song shall be stuck in your head all day!)

If I am having a bad day, or I gained a pound, I want you to tell me to get off my ass and put the chip down, and get my ass to the gym. Don’t sit there and tell me “Its okay…Its okay…” Because its not.

Tough love. We all need it but few of us know how to give it respectfully.

I have more respect for my friends and family when they DON’T agree with me, then go about telling me why. Respectfully. I LOVE A GOOD DEBATE. And I love to discuss these things with people rational and intelligent enough to know the difference between a good debate and a down right witch hunt.

So I guess you can color me one of those silly little people who think you need be socially responsible in what you write. You can say what you need to say without ripping apart a community. You can say what you want to say while still keeping an open mind to those whose opinions may differ from yours.

Maybe, just maybe, you might learn something…If you are open to it…

If you are so stuck in your ways that you refuse to learn, then you might as well be dead, in my opinion, of course…Man…I don’t ever want to stop learning and growing…

Second, and this is a huge one, any one who thinks that America does not have a RISING obesity problem, especially amongst children, really has their head in the sand.

And if you have done any research at all on the topic, then you realize that not only has our food gotten crappy over the years, but our activity levels have decreased significantly.

Gone are the days when we had to be out in the fields at Dawn, pushing our plow behind our horses…Gone also are the days when we could eat steak and potatoes every night to have the energy to do so.

So to sit there and say that exercise is not really necessary, well, I call your bluff. For many people, it is. If you are the lucky one born with a super sonic metabolism, great! How incredibly awesome for you!!!

Sadly, most of us were not. And it’s apparent to anyone with eyeballs that our children were not.

That fact, coupled with the barrage of video games, fast food, processed food, and lack of physical activity has lead many of our streets and parks to be devoid of children running, playing and laughing.

It’s been far too long since I saw a kid in my neighborhood riding a bike after school.

So there you go.

There is not one way that works for everyone. Everyone must find their own way on this journey.

This community. Our friends. Family. Co-workers. They can inspire us. They can motivate us. They can support us. But this journey is OURS to make in any way we can in a way that will work LONG TERM for us.

This is not just a moment in time for most of us. This is not “I need to lose 10 pounds to fit into my wedding dress”. For most of us, we are embarking on a LIFE LONG journey, and the sooner you realize that, the more successful you will be…

And stumbling along the way IS going to happen. No doubt about it.

But picking yourself up and getting back on the path will eventually lead you to your destination.

R U A Hoarder???

So, I confess…

I am completely addicted to Hoarding shows…

Currently I DVR “Hoarders” on A&E…

No offense to any of you out there who are true hoarders, but I really find this kind of behavior fascinating…In a sad kind of way…

I kind of feel like a rubber necker at a traffic accident…

Like I am observing a picture I shouldnt be…

Eye porn I suppose!!! (Yes, I said Porn…) LOL…

I find myself episode by episode judging these people…Every episode shows a variation of hoarding. Some, in my oppinion, are filthy…Hoarding trash, and simply not cleanning…Not to be confused with the hoarders who come from a different generation where they kept everything from neccessity…Then the third category I have made is the hoarder who is a hoarder because they are also a shop aholic.

Oh, and then there are the animal hoarders…Who are a different breed alltogether…(Get it??? Breed?? Animals???)

Okay…Sorry…Just wanted to make you smile…

So anyway, I watch this show for many reasons…

First, for understanding. I dont get that behaviour and I want to.

Second, it makes ME feel more normal about my life and behaviors.

Third, it makes me feel like the best housekeeper on earth.

Fourth, mental health challenges run in my family and I have always been fascinated by what makes some snap and some not. The mind and how it functions (or doesnt in this case) has always interested me…

Fifth, well, its entertaining, in a weird sorta way I suppose…

So this morning I am watching this weeks episode…

Sitting all high and mighty on my throne. Listening to this woman say how very VERY important her children are to her, and yet, Children Services has been called and threatened removal if she doesnt clean up her junk. I am, in my head, of course, saying to myself “Well, lady, if they were so damn important to you, you would get rid of your crap!”

And then I realized something disturbing…

In many ways, I am a hoarder too!

Sure…

Not in the way these folks are…

But I do “Hoard”

I hoard memories, past behaviors, past failures…

I should be saying to MYSELF “Lady, if getting healthy and loosing weight were so important to you, why dont you just get rid of your junk???”

Many of my faithful readers know this.

I spend an awful lot of time in my own head dwelling…

Dwelling on my past…

Dwelling on my failures…

And isnt this really a form of hoarding?

Some people hoard trash.

Some hoard stuff.

I hoard my past.

I knew this, of course, but never really labled it hoarding…Although, it is…

Hoarding: hoard play_w2(”H0225300″) (hôrd, hrd)

n.

A hidden fund or supply stored for future use; a cache.

v. hoard·ed, hoard·ing, hoards

v.intr.

To gather or accumulate a hoard.

v.tr.

1. To accumulate a hoard of.

2. To keep hidden or private.

Yep. That would be me…

Now, in a sense, every memory we create is an accumulation of our life…

But the difference here, is I refuse to let mine go…

Refusing to let go of the item is what makes one a Hoader…

I have been dwelling for so long in my head, in my past, that I often forget to live in the present…

I have been doing this for almost three years…And I have frankly grown tired of it…

Life is passing me by…

Thats right…I am no spring chicken any more…

So I think its high time I come down off my mighty throne and mingle with the peasants…

Because I am no better than any one of them…

I have vowed, today, to start to let go…One layer at a time…

I have got to stop clinging to the past…

What was is no longer. In all aspects of my life.

Now, I am only what I am today. And if I dont like what I am, I change it. Now.

The past is now the past and can not, no matter how hard I wish it, be undone…

I can only EVER go forward…

Next Page »